The ultimate incentive worked! Now onto phase two

Lara44

Eeeeeeeek - just got called for jury service. Right in the middle of the summer holidays I have booked off work. It's unpaid as well and is likely to last for 2 weeks. I hope I don't get picked for some grizzly trial.

Ok, Cinny the £4000ish you were talking about is for the government rent a room scheme. If you hire out a room in your house to a lodger, you are allowed to pocket up to that amount in rent without having to pay tax on it as an additional income.

I am not sure how it is best for you to set up your business at the moment. Perhaps you could start a freelance business (you are called a sole trader) and if it takes off you could then form a limited company. I have been freelance for years, and it's easy provided you keep simple records. The HM website is really helpful, have a look here -

http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/startingup/index.htm

I have also had friends who started their businesses with help from the Prince's Trust. They have had excellent help in all aspects of business training and it would be well worth contacting them. They help you to develop a business plan and get seed funding, so it might be something to think about after you've done your first stalls at the fair. Yay Cinny!

http://www.princes-trust.org.uk/

On the wedding front, I am glad we waited. I feel like I know a little more about myself now, I am glad to know that OH is supportive through hard times. This is a union for life, so it's important to me not to settle for someone, but to have respect for them above all else. For me romantic love is important but it also needs to be matched by a deeper kindness, respect, shared values, shared expectations of the future in order to last.

I struggle with the whole marriage process, as I feel a bit squashed by it. I am not comfortable with the 'bride' identity and I feel like everyone is so surprised that I don't have taffeta brains. I am struggling to find a way of bringing it all back to the commitment and avoiding all the commercial stuff. And my family have quite specific expectations ...

Mine and OHs relationship is really equal, and we don't have the traditional roles in the home. It feels weird that everyone is expecting us to have traditional roles in the wedding. Also I would like to keep my own name.

Sorry that turned into a slight essay!

Dinah93

The above post is fantastic Lara, I couldn't agree more (well, except I can't wait to take OHs name so we can be a family unit!). I too can't relate to the 'bride' identity, all these woman on the weddings board mouthing off because their bridesmaids forgot to give them their measurements? Get over it love. Get them a size bigger, they'll fit in it, job done! I'd love to be NIMs wife, but the only aspect of the actual wedding that excite me are the cake and the honeymoon!

Cinny91

I forgot about your secret wedding fund Dinah! Be lovely if you could get it up to 1k before he asks though. You can find a (rough!) target for everything!

Wendz - I'd take that as a good omen! Getting debt free before you get married is a lovely incentive though, or you could aim to get DF within a year then have plenty of saving time before the wedding.

Lara - Thanks for all that! I'm thinking of holding out setting it up as a full blown business until the country comes out the other side of the rut we're in atm. Doing a stall or so a month for a bit of extra income is all I'm after right now, spend a few years getting a good name for myself before I branch out into anything major. Will have a look at the links after dinner. Uh-oh to Jury duty though! I hope it isn't a nasty case for you.

A big part of me knows OH won't ask until I'm ready. The next big hurdle for us is moving in together, so I've got two years of looking forward to that before proper wedding talk.

Dinah93

I really need to pull my finger out with the painting and get it sorted.

Right, I'm going to set myself a series of mini challenges.

1. Finish knitting NIMs scarf by the end of June (for the chilly summer season!)
2. Draw up a business plan for the housebuilding thing before we next go to Ireland (towards end of August - see below)
3. Get my painting website and an etsy website running in some form by August 1st. Also get some sort of business card or flyer done by this time.
4. Save £200 a month to the secret wedding fund.
5. Take my week off at the end of July and learn to use my sewing machine/paint.

Now the reason the housebuilding thing is vague is I don't know when August bank holiday is! Various websites say the 31st, but my work calendar says the 24th August. Any ideas?!?!?!

Birdie85

Nice essay Lara, don't apologise! I'm not doing too well with the bride thing either, I've learnt that I'm really independant when it comes to the whole thing and I'm not bothered about roping people in to give their two penneth on every aspect, I'll do it all as I want it. I'm really not expecting a lot from my bridesmaid (SIL), I've only got one because I feel like I should (and she's the sister I never had- ahhhh!) but I'll just go shopping with her to Monsoon or the like and help her pick a pretty dress, I couldn't give a monkeys about getting a made to measure, perfect colour match dress with specially dyed shoes etc... too much hassle!
I want to take OH's name as I want to be a family unit and I want the same name as my children but I'm worried about it as it sounds silly with my name and I'll miss my surname, I like my name! I'm not pretentious enough to go double-barrelled either!

Dinah93

Whats his surname Birdie?

I cracked at the weekend (big time actually!) and bought the Magnolia Bakery book from bookpeople, along with a load of others, some presents some not, and a small order from bananas books and some 'setting up yuor small business' type books on Amazon. Must have spent nearly £100 on books in the last week, but in my defense at least £25 of that was presents. That's a crap defense actually!

Cinny91

Dinah93 wrote: »

Get my painting website and an etsy website running in some form by August 1st. Also get some sort of business card or flyer done by this time.

You'll have to give us the link when you've set it up, then I can finally see your paintings!

Ooh, I'd love to get £100 worth of books in the post! You'll have to tell me what the Magnolia Bakery book is like, I've just got the hummingbird one. Really tempted to get it actually, so please talk it down instead of saying it's nice.

wendz86

I am determined to pay off my debts in less than a year. Think that i would get motivated by the possible engagement though. I am going to up my payments to my dad since i get my pay rise this month.

Birdie85

Dinah93 wrote: »

Whats his surname Birdie? </p>

I cracked at the weekend (big time actually!) and bought the Magnolia Bakery book from bookpeople, along with a load of others, some presents some not, and a small order from bananas books and some 'setting up yuor small business' type books on Amazon. Must have spent nearly £100 on books in the last week, but in my defense at least £25 of that was presents. That's a crap defense actually!

It's Hudson so it'll sound like I steal from the rich and give to the poor!
Just think about the books as an investment! And I'm sure you got an awful lot for your money so it's OK! I think I may be growing as a person; yesterday I went into Hobbycraft and Borders and didn't buy anything! I think I deserve a gold star for that!

Dinah93

Oh it's the Hummingbird not Magnolia one I got too Cinny, I get confused easily!!!

I went into Borders yesterday too, commented to NIM if we won the lottery the second thing I would do would be to go on a mad rampage just browing the books and buying any I thought vaguely interesting. He asked what the first thing I would do is, duh, hand in my notice at work so I have time to read said books!

I wouldn't have copped the association with the king of thieves if you hadn't mentioned it Birdie!