The ultimate incentive worked! Now onto phase two

Dinah93

Unfortunately NIM is with Lloyds and they don't have faster payments, which irritates me, and also often transactions don't come off his account for several days, where mine is immediate. At any rate, its me nothim who is the problem for getting a new account!

Birdie85

Just adding my two penneth to the joint account discussion! We have a joint account which is for bills, food, petrol and meals out if we're feeling flush but we also have separate accounts for individual spends. It stops us worrying about buying something 'selfish' and it's also handy for present buying as I don't want him seeing where I've been shopping for his birthday present! We'd fall out if all money was shared as he thinks nothing of spending £60 on a night out and I'd rather spend that on shoes!
Talking about presents, I shot myself in the foot when I told OH I'd buy him a British Lions rugby top, they're £50! I'm trying to convince him that the training polo shirt is 'much nicer'... and it's £20 less!

wendz86

It is a bit of a nightmare. My OH is with Halifax which takes a week to get into my account when he transfers money so now each month he has to draw out casha nd i have to pay it in to my account. Would be much easier if we had a joint account for bills, think it will be easier when he starts in police too as he will get paid 15th of the month so he can pay the money into the account ready for the bills/rent etc to come out

Dinah93

But if you spend it on shoes and he spends it on a night out you've both spent the same, so it doesn't matter?!

If NIM did turn into a drinker (or gambler, or drugs) yes, I think maybe we'd have an issue as I think it's a waste of money, but so does he, so apart from his one drink with the lads with his burger on Friday lunchtimes I don't really have to worry about that.

I think one of the reasons we work together is we have very similar attitudes to money, he's not one of these men who has to have the latest x-box game every week, and money doesn't burn a hole in his pocket. Equally I don't shop much at all, but when I do I buy a couple of really nice bits, rather than being forever down at new look or primark or something!

Tesco_points_addict

Dinah93 wrote: »

This is in no way a dig TPA (someone on another board took it that way) but how don't you feel free by having all the finances joint? I find it would be helpful to have one account for the bills that I can transfer money into on payday and not worry about, and another for spends that we actually have to budget from to last the month, but they ideally would both be in joint names.

We're finding it really stressfull having them seperate atm!

The joint account is used to pay all the household bills, we both put a set amount into it every month, then our 'own' accounts are used for whatever...but as I have control over them all hubby just gets told off for withdrawing money whereas I do whatever I want:rotfl:. Everything we have if ours...well his is ours, mine is mine;), but I would not want to have to 'ask' if it was ok to withdraw money...hmmmm double standards for me hubby asks for pocket money!

TPAx

Tesco_points_addict

Dinah93 wrote: »

Lol I raised that point with them too! She said they always do a search if you apply for any new credit products.

Oh !!!!!! if thats the case with all my regular savers I have applied for in the last few months my credit rating must be abismal!

TPAx

Edit..just re read that post you said 'credit products' thank goodness for that!

Dinah93

Lol no savers are fine, anything where you borrow isn't.

NIM suggested I give him pocket money at the start since he doesn't know how to budget, and I shot that right down! Firstly, he's an adult, he needs to learn, secondly he's not the lesser party in this relationship, he has as much right to access (and screw up!) our finances as I do!

wendz86

My mum gives my Dad pocket money, quite funny really as is mainly his money. She is in charge of all the bank accounts though. Don't think he even knows what his pin number is.

poddle911

Birdie85 wrote: »

Just adding my two penneth to the joint account discussion! We have a joint account which is for bills, food, petrol and meals out if we're feeling flush but we also have separate accounts for individual spends. It stops us worrying about buying something 'selfish' and it's also handy for present buying as I don't want him seeing where I've been shopping for his birthday present! We'd fall out if all money was shared as he thinks nothing of spending £60 on a night out and I'd rather spend that on shoes!

Birdie, we're on the same wavelength today! I noticed that we'd said almost the same about Dinah and NIM's spends and I totally agree with your two penneth here

We do exactly the same, and while I don't think it would cause major issues if we only had one joint account, I like the fact we're avoiding any in the first place. I'd definitely find it weird buying OH a present knowing he'd paid for half of it anyway! In terms of spending, I guess mine's more little and often (makeup, books, the odd pair of shoes) but OH is more likely to buy a new set of golf clubs or trainers or car parts!

So I do think that it would balance out but I personally don't see any need to try it. Dinah, I appreciate that joint finances is very important to you and it must be frustrating not to be able to sort it!

Talking of joint bank accounts, I read something 'interesting' the other day - if you take out a joint loan in both of your names and you split, both parties are liable for the whole amount and not just half each. Banks, eh?!

Birdie85

Dinah93 wrote: »

But if you spend it on shoes and he spends it on a night out you've both spent the same, so it doesn't matter?! </p>

If NIM did turn into a drinker (or gambler, or drugs) yes, I think maybe we'd have an issue as I think it's a waste of money, but so does he, so apart from his one drink with the lads with his burger on Friday lunchtimes I don't really have to worry about that.

The problems with each spending money on silly things out of the joint account is if he spends £60 on booze there's not enough left for my shoes! LOL. 2 wrongs don't make a right and all that. OH likes to enjoy his money and I don't begrudge him that as long as the bills are paid and we can afford food, when he does work (!!!) he works hard and should enjoy buying what he wants within reason. He thinks the same towards me and we both agreed that it isn't really my business to know what games he's been buying and it isn't up to him to know what clothes or make-up I've been buying as long as we can both afford it.
And it is taken as given that he'll spend money on drink, he's a rugby player with an active social life...rugby boys drink, it's just one of those things. He loves being surrounded by friends and usually friends lead to beer... We're only young once and we may as well enjoy it (although I know that it really isn't everyone's cup of tea!) as it'll stop when we have babies!