The ultimate incentive worked! Now onto phase two

Tesco_points_addict

Dinah93 wrote: »

Urgh, hating this seperate finances thing, you just end up disecting the pennies. The day out at the weekend cost loads, leaving NIM with no spends, just his £38 of overdraft for the month, and he goes out for a burger at the pub every friday with the team at work, and he has to get petrol out of that too. Now while I know he's not the type, my ex used to yell at me and blame me if I had no money, so I got overly defensive in case he started questioning/asking for money. Daft thing is, I have no spends at all, and am going overdrawn just on bills, but I want him to integrate with his new team, so I allocated him all the spends this month, and I'm just finding it really stressfull to manage the money when I can see problems looming and I can't avoid them. Refuse to take money out of savings to cover spends, that kind of defeats the idea of budgetting.

If we had one account there wouldn't be so much disection of where the money goes on a day out etc.

Hubby and I have an account each and a joint account, I like this, gives us freedom yet togetherness too!!

TPAx

Dinah93

This is in no way a dig TPA (someone on another board took it that way) but how don't you feel free by having all the finances joint? I find it would be helpful to have one account for the bills that I can transfer money into on payday and not worry about, and another for spends that we actually have to budget from to last the month, but they ideally would both be in joint names.

We're finding it really stressfull having them seperate atm!

Cinny91

Just popped on while I'm finshing my dinner! Got a to do list as long as my arm this afternoon so might not get to catch any rays!

£100 spends a week?! Crikey! I don't know where you pull all this money from. Sounds like NIM is sorted spends wise for the rest of the month too. What a sweetie with his email though!

Best get on with my list, if I want any chance of getting in the sun today! Have a nice afternoon!

Dinah93

Aye if he can get the guy to swap the euros (or failing that my parents or brother might!) and he can get the coinage off his dad or brother, he'll be sorted, still in his overdraft, but fine.

wendz86

I think a joint account for bills is a good idea but personally i coudln't share the spending money. I leave it up to OH to spend on what he likes as long as he pays the bills, rent etc. If it works for you though would be a good idea, would make things simpler

Tete_en_l'Air

I agree, I think when OH and I eventually move in together and have to have a joint account for bills I'd still like to keep my own account for spends otherwise I'd feel as though I had to run anything past him first (not out of obligation but out of courtesy if you know what I mean). It might just be the only child in me wanting 'my' money, I don't know!

I know what you mean Cin £100 spends a week seems like a massive amount but I honestly probably spend about that most weeks - I think it's a classic case of 'the more you have, the more you spend', I'm earning loads more than I was a couple of years ago with roughly the same outgoings all things considered but still manage to spend it all.

Dinah you're shaming me with you gym comment, haven't been in so long. Next week I promise!

wendz86

I agree with you Tete. I spenda round 400-500 a month after all my bills etc. I would always manage to spend however much I earn I think. I was saying to my friend that your tastes just get a bit more expensive, instead of shopping at primark you go for warehouse or something, so you end up just the same.

Dinah93

See I don't think it matters if the bills all come out of a sole account, but having seperate spends to NIM doesn't make sense to me, I know some people work that way, but from a practical standpoint most of our spends are from days out/dinners/trips together so it just seems so petty to have to split costs, and from a purely emotional point of view I don't feel like I could honestly stand up in a church and say I was giving myself fully to someone if I was withheld financially. But I do see that its easier for some people to keep money seperate if one person is a lot more spendy than the other.

The other thing is, we plan on having kids in the not too distant future. At present I earn a lot more than NIM, nearly double, but on maternity leave and hopefully after I wouldn't be working so he'd support us both, so this feels like we're both saying 'okay, there is going to be give and take throughout our lives, but neither is taking advantage!'.

Cinny91

About the accounts, for me and OH when we move in together we'll have a joint account for bills, a joint account spends (food, days out and whatnot) then our own accounts on top of that for more 'personal' things. Petrol, birthday presents, clothes ect!
Don't know if that helps or not. And yes, It is slightly weird we already have this planned.

Applied for another saver for my holiday money, been thinking of another as a start up fund for when I move out. I think I might be heading into Dinah land with my savers! I'll have 3 when this one opens.

Noooo, just crossing things off my list and the post comes! Now I've got phone calls to add to the ruddy thing.

Tete_en_l'Air

Yes I agree with Cinny, maybe two joint accounts - for business and pleasure, maybe a joint saver too. But for things like out shopping at lunchtime I'd like to be able to just buy those shoes if I want them because that portion is mine to do as I please with. I don't think it makes you any less committed to one another or less trusting of one another, it's just nice to maintain a bit of independance.

As for maternity/kids - not even on my radar atm!!