The ultimate incentive worked! Now onto phase two

Tesco_points_addict

Dinah93 wrote: »

I don't peek through my fingers as I already know my bank balance is dire! I don't know whether our budget is too tight (I suspect it is) for how we can reasonably live.

NIM and I are having a big quality of life debate atm, he's a lot more driven towards the house than I am right now. It probably makes sense for him to take the weekend day at the farm, more money + means I can still paint and work up my portfolio. However on the flip side it means we can't do any of the weekends away, camping, and finding a church that suits us both which we were holding out for. Not sure owning bricks and mortar is worth it atm.

I think they way you are feeling is know as 'burn out'. You have worked non stop for months now. The house money is important, but if you and NIM don't get any quality time then there will be no need for a house!! Sorry to be blunt but as I have said before you have both made huge sacrifices (sp??). Now is the time to make the most of each other. How about setting yourselves a limit to how many extra jobs, MSing etc you will do (maximum limit that is not minimum!). Do you still have your date nights? Can you get a least one weekend a month together with no other distractions?
So with my bossy head on::p

• Have one date night a week
• One weekend a month must be just for the two of you.
• Set a maximum limit for extra jobs such as Msing etc. Do not go over this.
• Enjoy each other
• Don't forget how much you have both already acheived.

TPAX

Tete_en_l'Air

The cupcakes sound lovely Poddle and at least you managed a marble cake - did he appreciate it?

I think getting out into the countryside one day each weekend is brilliant and definitely breaks the monotony of the working week, I'd recommend it if not in lieu of a 'proper' holiday at least as a nice breath of fresh air while you're waiting to go away.

I have to say I was inclined to go the opposite of what the others have said Dinah. You've worked so hard for so long to save every penny, I think you deserve a bit of a break. Can you not look at reducing the amount of money you save each month so that you can go and see a film or whatever without having to check the balance sheets first? So you can live comfortably but not extravagantly? And could you look at saving NIM's saturday farm money specifically for treats like weekends away (he's not working EVERY weekend is he?)?

I'm not trying to sabotage your savings attempts at all, I just think that now that you're debt free and both working regular hours you should be able to live a little.

ETA - Couldn't have said it better myself TPA!!

Dinah93

Have to admit I'm guiltily leaning towards TPA and Tetes way of thinking. What TPA said a week or two ago about enjoying being with one another and not wasting the excitement of being a 'new' couple really hit home with me and made me stop and think.

If the farm job was saturdays not sundays I think the decision would be a lot easier, but because it means we couldn't go to church for another 5 months I'm struggling a bit as my life feels a bit on hold with that aspect missing, which I know is a very alien and ancient concept to most people but I feel very lost without my faith having a central role.

End of the day if he didn't take the farm job, we'd be fine, but I doubt we'd reach our house deposit target in the two years. So the question is does it matter if its 3 years (personally I think it does, I can't wait to have our own house), or does it matter if its a small house (again, don't really want to buy and move again 3 years later!). Ofc I'm not buying until there's not one but two rings on my finger, so two years is probably unlikely anyway!

If we could continue to put away the £500 a month from my wages, the £600 a month on the £20 a day challenge and £300 from NIMs new wages we'd come in to the end of the two years only about £5000 down and still have been putting money aside for holidays. But the farm job at one day a week for the next 5 months would bring us another £700 after tax, which isn't to be sniffed at. ARGH!

Happytogetdebtfree

Dinah what you are forgetting here is your judgement on house prices and the amount of deposit you have and what can change in the next 2 years at the moment you cant get a mortgage unless you have a huge deposit but at some point in order to to make the house market move they will have to reduce the demand on deposits i am informed by a good source ;-) also you have to start small to get big dont be so harsh on yourself we are still young and plenty of time to get the dream house lovey ive set my target for 29 to have my own land and house built thats 4 years so i need to work bloody hard hehe you need to chillax xx enjoy life or you will cause a rift.... ive had to paddle through mine to come full circle x

Dinah93

I sat in our team meeting this morning and doodled house plans, I always do this but this mornings dream house I think may well be the best combination of realistic, architecturally functional and to the design I like that I've ever done. Gonna show NIM tonight.

Would love to self build but there is so little land around.

(nb when I say realistic, take this with a pinch of salt, this is no 2 up 2 down!)

poddle911

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

I have to say I was inclined to go the opposite of what the others have said Dinah. You've worked so hard for so long to save every penny, I think you deserve a bit of a break. Can you not look at reducing the amount of money you save each month so that you can go and see a film or whatever without having to check the balance sheets first? So you can live comfortably but not extravagantly? And could you look at saving NIM's saturday farm money specifically for treats like weekends away (he's not working EVERY weekend is he?)?

I agree with Tete - it's a fab idea to have a specified amount / % of money for treats and 'Dinah&NIM time'. I think that's what I meant when I said ease up on your budgeting, but much better put! If you lower your saving targets then you won't feel like you're letting yourself down - it puts a lot of pressure on you, like when you said the other day you might have to spend £x from somewhere but pay extra next month.

In terms of buying a house, only you can decide what's right - if I told you how much we paid for our 1bed flat you would probably have a fit (and banish me from this thread!) but every time I drive home and see the sea view and every day I can walk to the beach in 5 mins I think it's worth it...

PS. OH was over the moon with his cakes thanks, and it made me all gooey inside! I had been squirrelling away his birthday cards too and he genuinely thought that he didn't get any so he was all surprised aww!

Tete_en_l'Air

I sat in our team meeting this morning and doodled house plans

I thought that said house plants and then the rest of the post didn't make much sense!

ETA - Didn't know you had a sea view Poddle *sighs wistfully*

Dinah93

Btw little-miss uni debt thanks so much for the pm, have printed it off and going to put it in my 'drawings and paintings' file for reading and understanding in a couple of weeks when I will be at the stage where the website is my priority, right now all my time is going into building my potfolio.

Got one of NIMs series drawn out yesterday, quite simple but I think it could work well. Need to paint it up still though.

Also NIM won a galaxy book last night, none of the titles are his kind of thing, so I picked another one for me. Cheered me up a bit even though my to read pile is over 100 books and growing.

Dinah93

Lol at one of my old jobs one day a week I had to go around the building and polish the potted plants. There were 42 of them. Suprisingly the cactus wasn't as bad as the fern...

Cinny91

I think if you have the option to build your own house, there'd be nothing more satisfying. My Grandad built my Grandma their first (and only) house, he told me even though it skint him at first, he doesn't regret a thing. Saying that, it was the mid 1950s!

Saying all this, I have a potential mortgage coming my way in a few years. Depending if I buy the house my Dad and Uncle are building off of them, or just rent it. Now thats a scary thought.
But me and OH have been offered a Puppy when we move in together, and thats nice!