Will my child forget me?

sarah1980

I feel like a terrible mother. I have just started leaving my 8-week old baby girl with a childminder for 3 days per week (9am-4pm). Hubby works F/T, I have my own business and if I am not at work, I am not earning. I tried working from home for the first month, but I felt so torn between the work I had to do and wanting to engage with my child, it wasn't working. Unfortunately we don't have any family or close friends nearby who could help out.

The question is - do you think my baby will forget who I am? I know she won't forget me completely, but do you think she won't know who her Mummy is? DH and I both earn equal amounts so it wouldn't be financially viable for one of us to give up. Plus, I have worked so hard to establish this business and I don't want to pack it all up now and have to start again when LO goes to school.

I have committed to not taking any work calls or checking emails on the 2 weekdays I am not at work, and I am continuing to b/feed (luckliy she will also take expressed milk from a bottle) but I still feel terrible.

Does anyone have any experience of leaving their LO in childcare from such a young age?

ella_ella_ella

No experience or advice really as I gave up work to be a SAH mum but didnt want to read and run x

HypnoNu

She won't forget you, you're her mum, don't beat yourself up about it if you know that guys can't survive if you're not working, make sure you make the most of the time you are with her and you'll always have a special bond...

skintchick

I've given up work as well (am working from home while PG as freelance) so I don;t know what to say. I don;t think I could leave an eight-week old baby but I'm sure she won;t forget you!

If it makes you feel this bad, are you sure you can;t do on your OH's wage for a while? Can your staff keep your business going for a few months?

MrsTinks

As someone who will have to return too work too then I feel for you! Roo hasn't arrived yet but I know I'll hate leaving her. Once the savings run out however I will have no choice but to return to work as we earn too much to get any support Well short of SMP and then the £20 a week child benefit... which won't go very far in paying for anything really.
Right now if I don't go to work loans don't get paid so it's just not an option. If I went on a DMP and unemployed we'd actually be better off - insane! Unfortunately I couldn't morally do that

Sagaris

Of course she won't forget you - I used to be a childminder, and even the little ones would obviously realise when it was Mum coming to collect them in the evenings!
Try not to worry - you are doing the best you can for your family, so stop beating yourself up!

bank_of_slate

Once she gets into a routine the break will do you both good, you will have some independence and she will be learning social skills from a very early age.
...Linda xx

galvanizersbaby

sarah1980 wrote: »

I feel like a terrible mother. I have just started leaving my 8-week old baby girl with a childminder for 3 days per week (9am-4pm). Hubby works F/T, I have my own business and if I am not at work, I am not earning. I tried working from home for the first month, but I felt so torn between the work I had to do and wanting to engage with my child, it wasn't working. Unfortunately we don't have any family or close friends nearby who could help out.

The question is - do you think my baby will forget who I am? I know she won't forget me completely, but do you think she won't know who her Mummy is? DH and I both earn equal amounts so it wouldn't be financially viable for one of us to give up. Plus, I have worked so hard to establish this business and I don't want to pack it all up now and have to start again when LO goes to school.

I have committed to not taking any work calls or checking emails on the 2 weekdays I am not at work, and I am continuing to b/feed (luckliy she will also take expressed milk from a bottle) but I still feel terrible.

Does anyone have any experience of leaving their LO in childcare from such a young age?

Bless you! she will know you - she will know your smell, your voice everything about you - don't worry!

I had to leave my DS in childcare from 6 months when I returned to work so not such a young age I know but young enough I thought at the time.

Well done on keeping up the breastfeeding - you don't sound like a terrible mother to me

mountainofdebt

Don't beat yourself up - you're doing what is good for you and your child .

myrnahaz

You'll be able to have much better quality time with her on your days off because you won't be worrying where your next penny is coming from.
Children are quite smart when it comes to working out relationships - I think your biggest problem will be that you'll miss her dearly! It will work out, honestly.

elaine373

From a different perspective, as a mother of 7 who stayed at home for 25 years. I am now skint and unqualified to do much so i think there is a bonus if you can carry on with your career/job. Also, leaving your child so young probably upsets you alot more than her, and if she was say 9 months plus, would be far more upset at being left. Dont beat yourself up, you are doing your best. All the best to you.:)