Will my child forget me?

woody01

NAR wrote: »

OP asked for opinions and woody01 gave one. Everyone is entitled to have an opinion!

I wasnt trying to be nasty.
The fact is, children need their parents around them.

The OP sounds like a nice person, but it probably doesnt help to just agree that she is doing the right thing to make her feel a little better with the guilt.

NAR

ClareEmily wrote: »

Including me :rolleyes:

Quite, but you were critical of someone else's opinion, which was my origonal point!

ClareEmily

NAR wrote: »

Quite, but you were critical of someone else's opinion, which was my origonal point!

And now you are being critical about mine, even though the post I was referring to wasn't even yours :rolleyes:

fsdss

try not to worry too much - your baby is programmed to identify your breast milk, and will instantly recognise you by your smell, why not send in a pad, or favourite toy "flavoured" to you? (just as a comfort or piece of mind).
2 months is out of the ordinary as most people have paid maternity leave, however it is certainly not unique to find a baby in the care of another person. as long as the baby has what she needs (food, interaction, safety, care) then there should be no problem.
in some cultures the baby from newborn to 6 months is shared with family members for care and only brought to the mother for milk, so certainly not unusual.

Spendless

When I had eldest 9 years ago maternity pay was ony for 14 weeks- 18 if you'd worked there longer, so if you went off work 6 weeks before, then mums were back at work by the time their baby was 8 weeks old- my friend was. Baby still knew who mum was.

applestar

Hi

just thought i'd throw my 2 cents in too

I come from a family like you have - both parents working long hours some times leaving the house before i got up, in my mum's case and not getting home til 7/8pm usually so i spent a lot of my childhood with childminders and babysitters etc.

Turns out i'm fine! :rotfl: My mum has admitted she was wracked with guilt about not getting to see me or me seeing her enough so I'll tell you what i told her

The memories i have of my parents when i was little are of being happy to see them and feeling loved when they picked me up or spent time with me. Honestly there was nothing better than that first hug off my mum or dad when i got to see them, just like all kids mine just happened to be a bit later in the day so i had my homework done and could just play with them. I don't remember feeling i missed out on anything or feeling un loved or any of that! I think the only thing i did miss was going to people's houses for tea after school without a day or so's notice (pre mobile phones!!) I love both my parents and appreciate that what they did was hard for them but it hasn't damaged me or made me love them less or any of that

Also once i hit my teens i was aware my parents were busy and tried to do what i could (well as much as a teenager can!) - i learn to look after myself and do my washing (my mum hasn't seen my laundry basket since i was 14! ) I think that set me up for going to uni and living alone because i was used to not always having some one to pick up after me


Ok one long lasting effect .. i eat my evening meal at 8/9pm because that was the time my mum would have it ready by after work! Oh and a long love of bulk cooking ... mums home made meals in the freezer = bliss :rotfl:


basically don't worry!! you're doing your best for you and your kid - my mum was at a point in her career where she couldn't stop working either. And now she's where she wanted to be and her kid still loves her!! :T

LondonDiva

OP don't stress too much. You should look at it this way, she knows & remembers who her dad is and he's been back at work for much longer than you have without any problems.

Don't take on the guilt on top of juggling work and home. There's enough stress still to come:)

Rummer

I put my DD in nursery at 6 weeks and there was never any doubt that I was mummy. Just ensure that the time you have with her is quality time and that you have chosen the right nursery and you should both be happy.

sarah1980

Thanks everyone for your valuable input. If I had been able to get maternity pay it wouldn't have made a great deal of difference as I don't have anyone working for me so the business would have effectively shut down for a time. And my clients may have looked elsewhere which I can't afford for them to do. As it is, i have chosen to take a pay cut by only working 3 days a week. I take my hat off to anyone who is able/willing to stay at home and raise children. It is far more difficult than office work!

Interesting point about how her Daddy works F/T yet she still knows he's her Daddy. When he was trying to reassure me earlier, I asked him how he'd feel if it were a man looking after his daughter and he had to admit he wouldn't do it!

mspig

My eldest is 13 this year and when i had him i was the breadwinner in our house that i actually worked a week over my due date(i went over by 12 days) and went back to work when he was 3 weeks old, he was left with my mum but i worked fulltime, and believe me it never did him any harm.
I now am a SAHM as my two youngest children are disabled so i have been on both sides of the fence.