Will my child forget me?

ClareEmily

NAR wrote: »

You really are a sad person when you can't admit to being wrong!
Live long and happy in ClareEmily World!

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: I will indeed :beer:

rachnbri

My boys have been going to a childminder since the eldest was 5 and the youngest a baby - not quite as young as your little one, but younger than I had planned to leave him. Like you I had no option - bills needed paying and I needed to work.

My boys are now 12 and 8 and have never forgotten who Mummy is but they have a relationship with their childminder and her family and the other children she looks after which is similar to a large extended family. They only go to the childminder in school holidays now but they all look forward to seeing each other and catching up.

In my experience having a childminder has enriched the lives of my children. They have done things with her which they may never have done with me and have a huge network of friends which they wouldn't otherwise have had. It never did any child any harm to have an extra adult who cares about them!

SammyD_2

It's not ideal at all, but can I make a practical suggestion - I shared a bed with my son when he was a baby and I was working. I felt that at least I got plenty of night cuddles with him and he would know I was with him for a good period of the night. Plus it helped me get a bit more sleep.

I also put everything else totally on hold when I wasn't working so I could focus on my children - ie if they were awake, no housework got done at all. No phone calls. No hanging out washing. It doesn't mean you have to spend every second playing with them, but just try to be as available as you possibly can be for the time you spend with your baby. My house however was a bit of a tip!

There were some positives. We had no family in the UK, so I did like the way it meant that my son got to know my childminder's family. He is very close to her and her children, and this was a big positive for him.

popularfurball

My mum went back to work full time after having me and as a youngster it didn't affect me negatively at that age - if anything it was good to have another influence (positive) on me. I have books that my first childminder made - first words, photos from days out, friends party invites, birthday cards etc - I still look at them occasionally now! It means that you have records of stuff you might miss and its nice for the child to see organised photos etc of them growing up! Then only time I didnt like it that much was when I was 13ish, and mum went back to pretty much full time (she had been 3days a week after having my brother who is 4 years younger). It meant mum and dad were out from 7-7 and 7-9 respectively and then I got a bit angsty about it but nothing terrible! Just a bit of teenage resentment I think!

PetuliaGristle

I went back to work full-time when my dd was 10 weeks old, she was looked after by nursery up until starting school, then dp became SAHD. Don't worry, as other posters have said, your little girl knows who her mummy and daddy are. There will be days when you beat yourself up over it, but we've all been there, you'll worry about it more than she does - and that's all part of the joy of parenthood. Feel free to PM me if you want to offload anytime.

sharkie

My mother also had a business. After birth my mum also suffered from depression. Apparently when I was around 2-ish, my mum stopped the child minder as my mum was jealous because I was calling the child minder mum.

While I loved my mum to bits, we were never close, and always found her hard to tell things and talk to or even have a conversation with and we had very little in common. There are large areas of her history, and family I feel I should have asked or known when i had the opportunity.

My parents being from overseas, found they had to cook English food for me, and I also drunk tea while my parents both drank coffee.

I suppose it is a matter of how far you push to boat out before it sales away.