Will my child forget me?

sarah1980

Thanks all for your encouraging responses I have literally been sat at my desk all morning and keep bursting into tears! And she doesn't seem to mind at all going to the C/M, which is good because it would break my heart if she cried. Her Daddy is a teacher so thankfully he gets a lot of holidays to spend with her.

NAR

Sarah1980 you had a lot of months to plan ahead for this situation. Most parents are with their children for the 6 month paid maternity leave period, you have chosen to shorten this to a two month period. I agree with other posters that it is you that will suffer the most because your bonding and watching child development time of your child will be reduced. I know from what you have posted you have tried to timetable time for your child as well as your business, only you will know over the next month or so if that is sufficient time.

woody01

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Don't beat yourself up - you're doing what is good for you and your child .

How?
Its not good for a very small baby to spend most the day away from its mother (or father).

I cant understand why anyone would have a baby then palm it off on someone else to look after every day? If work doesnt allow family then one or the other will suffer because of it.

Yorkshire-Lady_3

Aww, sweety, dont be upset.
I'm a childminder and totally understand how you're feeling.
You are the most special person in your little girls world, amd a good childminder will nourish that thought.
I finished at 1pm today, and have been on the pc since then updating policies and sourcing out pretend snow!
It DOES exist, honestly!

Your little girl will be thrilled to see you when you collect her, and want lots of hugs kisses and cuddles from her special mummy.

She will be fine, and in time, you will too.

Feel free to ask me anything else you want to know.

Sally x

whitewing

My DS was at fulltime nursery from 6 weeks old until he started school. I absolutely promise you that no-one can take your place as 'mum' in your child's heart.

ClareEmily

woody01 wrote: »

How?
Its not good for a very small baby to spend most the day away from its mother (or father).

I cant understand why anyone would have a baby then palm it off on someone else to look after every day?

Ouch, how to heap onto the OP a big dollop of guilt, useful.

It's not every day, mum will have baby for 147 hours a week and the child minder will have baby for 21 hours a week. Also father is a school teacher so those 3 days during holidays will be spent with daddy.

I say it will make your child more sociable and less clingy and it means you get to have a life too. Everyone's situation is different and it is far too easy to be judgemental.

NAR

ClareEmily wrote: »

Everyone's situation is different and it is far too easy to be judgemental.

OP asked for opinions and woody01 gave one. Everyone is entitled to have an opinion!

ClareEmily

NAR wrote: »

OP asked for opinions and woody01 gave one. Everyone is entitled to have an opinion!

Including me :rolleyes:

patchwork_cat

Ahh maternal guilt. It is a terrible burden that you are given as you deliver along with a big handbag!!!

I am being flippant, but I and probably every working mum has been there. 8 weeks is early to be leaving your baby, she will be fine it is you I am thinking of. I understand if you are self employed it is hard. Your baby will not forget you or not be aware of who mum is. It is only 21 hours the other 147 you are with her, so don't worry.It is only 3 days a week, don't beat yourself up although it is preprogrammed and continues take it from me - a good mum will question herself and what she has done.

When I read a thread from someone who says - I did the right thing and haven't had a moments doubt that I am an excellent mother, I know that they infact are not!

Jo_R_2

I've been in a number of situations regarding work; I have 3 kids aged 5, 2 and a little baby of 6 weeks.

With DD1 I initially went back to work when she was 8 months old, full time. I worried I was a terrible mother, that she'd like the nursery nurses more than me and I'd miss out on her milestones. Truth was I didn't miss out on anything huge and the weekends were great for doing stuff as a family. I also continued to breastfeed and leave expressed milk, as I did with DD2.

With DD2 I went back to work a day less, and used that day to be a family day where me and DDs would do fun stuff like soft play, park, feed the ducks (not necessarily all on the same day!) This day was great and I wished I'd done it with DD1. This way I felt happy that I was earning enough, and also getting quality time with DDs. I also became increasingly happy with them attending nursery as it was apparent DD1 was forging good friendships as time went on, both with the other children and the nursery nurses, and was also learning things and having experiences she wouldn't get being at home.

Now with baby as well, I'm a stay at home mummy. It's good because I'm going to have the time with baby that I missed with DDs in their first year. We get lots of time together, I can be there all the time and don't have to arrange for other people to take them to doctors, dentists and so on, as well as taking DD1 to school and picking her up. The minuses are that I do crave adult stimulation, money is tighter than before, sometimes I'm not sure what to do/where to go with DD2 and baby - days are long when they stretch out in front of you, and I worry DD2 is missing out on learning things and meeting people as DD1 did at nursery, although she does start preschool soon after turning 3.

I'm not offering a judgement exactly, but letting you know what each situation has been like for us. For me each one has involved different pluses and minuses, and being totally honest, no one situation has offered a total solution to all my worries But then again I'm never happy!