Estranged from parents, mother has passed away.What to do about funeral?

runninglea

I always ask myself whether I would go to my fathers funeral and have always come to the conclusion that I wouldnt.

I have now heard that he is ill (not termilly) so has got me thinking again.

However having not spoken to him in years, I would feel very awkward especially with relatives wondering why I have suddenly bothered.

Until it happens then one cannot be sure what they would do in this situation

Supermom

The op posted this back in April:doh:

Think the funeral may have taken place by now;)

dirtysexymonkey

Supermom wrote: »

The op posted this back in April:doh:

Think the funeral may have taken place by now;)

april 2009!

Mrs_P_Pincher

missprice wrote: »

amazing how many people 'divorced' their parents

That's just what I was thinking. I am in this position because my parents 'divorced' me 23 years ago, because I was such a disappointment to them!

My Dad died in 1993. I had not been told he was ill and received a letter a couple of days after he died. His body was left to medical research so there was no funeral and I have always felt cheated. He has no memorial or anything so it's as if he'd never lived.

I think that had there been a funeral, I would have tried to go.

OP must do what feels right and she will know when the day comes.

My thoughts go with you.

Mrs P P

January20

Supermom wrote: »

The op posted this back in April:doh:

Think the funeral may have taken place by now;)

April 2009 :rotfl:

JC9297

Why do people resurrect an ancient thread for no apparent reason? Drives me mad when I sit reading the thread for ages before realising that it's ages out of date.

January20

JC9297 wrote: »

Why do people resurrect an ancient thread for no apparent reason? Drives me mad when I sit reading the thread for ages before realising that it's ages out of date.

I suppose people do it by accident, don't they? I suppose they search the forum for a specific subject and then don't check the date. I only realised it was 2 years old by accident and, like every time I've read an ancient thread, I made a vow to always check the date when I start reading a thread, but I never do it!

Pollycat

It drives me mad too.

I can't imagine what the member who did resurrect this thread might have searched on that brought this thread up.

Given the subject, it might well have brought back really awful memories of the time that the OP was agonising over the best thing to do and even worse, made her relive the experience of the funeral if she did go.

Luckily, the OP only made a few posts and hasn't logged on since 25/4/2009.

No more advice for the OP please, her decision about what was right or wrong would have been made almost 2-and-a-half years ago.:)

January20

I know this is a sensitive subject, but the OP posted this information on a public forum where posts remain "live" for many years, so anybody who posts should remember that and be tough enough to deal with whatever response they will get. Sometimes, it means getting harsh, unhelpful posts, sometimes it will mean your thread being resurrected after many months. If subjects are too difficult that a resurrected thread will hurt them, they shouldn't have posted it in the first place.

Every poster has a right to choose to read/ not read a post or a thread.

Pollycat

Fair comment, January20.