csa babies dad

Loopy_Girl

tigtag02 wrote: »

Whilst in principle I agree with everything that you have said I also think that it must be nice to live in your pink, fluffy and perfect world!

Yeah whatever love....tell you what, come round for a glass of wine and I'll tell you how far my life is from pink, fluffy and perfect.

I have a 7 year old who is desperate to see her Dad and I have no answers why for her that he want's fux all to do with her - next time I'll pass her on to you shall I?

pinkpig08

I don't understand why the only choice after you had the baby was to either go on the dole or go to uni?

tigtag02

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Yeah whatever love....tell you what, come round for a glass of wine and I'll tell you how far my life is from pink, fluffy and perfect.

I have a 7 year old who is desperate to see her Dad and I have no answers why for her that he want's fux all to do with her - next time I'll pass her on to you shall I?

I tried not to be patronising - apologies if I was.

You however have been downright rude, please dont bleat onto me about how 'unperfect' your life is when you know nothing of mine.

Difference is my glass is half full - you seem to like yours half empty judging by your little rant above!!

The point I was making was that not YOUR life in particular was pink and fluffy but the ideals you write about it your posts. If you read properly you would see I agreed with your ideals, just not the pink, fluffy world we would need for them to be applied.

Oh, and for the record, 'love', your comment about not getting pregnant to a loser was totally out of order!!

overthehills

Well, there was another choice which if taken, would have enabled the Op to go back to work. She CHOSE not to take that option.
2 things I hate are;
1 deciding whether a child should have anything to do with the other parent who actually contributed in conceiving this child.
2. Parents who use the CSA as a "source of income" when all else fails.
There are indeed many emotional reasons people use the CSA.

"I want to apply for it I just don't want him seeing my daughter. I might sound like an money grabbing B***H, but he didn't bother when I was pregnant or when she was born so I don't see why he should come into her life now."

Then, you really, really should have thought about that before you opened your legs so to speak!
He may not be any good for your child at all, lord knows there are waster parents out there, but who made you God in the decision whether your child has a father in her life?

Pssst

lilabeth wrote: »

I want to apply for it I just don't want him seeing my daughter. I might sound like an money grabbing B***H, but he didn't bother when I was pregnant or when she was born so I don't see why he should come into her life now.

The reason why you want to apply for CSA payments is,if your honest,based on revenge isnt it? I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that and thats your business.

From my point of view i say that every father should pay for their children. In this context father means the person whos sperm fertilised you and so brought about the conception and birth of said child.

Now then,the whole business of him seeing his child is another issue and should not be confused with the finances of it.

Whether you claim CSA has no bearing on his right of access to his child. He could ask you informally to see his child this very afternoon and you would either comply or deny. If you denied access he could quite legitimately apply to the court for access whether open or restricted. If hes an alky/unemployed, he would be backed up by legal aid again paid for by muggins taxpayer.

So yes, i implore you to seek CSA payments.

he whole access thing may never happen but if it does, the payments have no bearing on it.

The child is just that, a child. not a tradeable commodity in some kind of immature power struggle.

lilabeth_2

go back to work?! I coudln't go back to my old job because of the travelling involved and finding a job in an area where there aren't many jobs is very hard.

overthehills

Ah, so the maintenece is an alternate source of income then. Whether the father should pay or not is another matter. But, it rather depends on whether he really wanted a child or not and whether options were discussed to which it wasn't ever going to be about him wanting a child. That is by the by and I am judging and quite rightly, I don't know you or your circumstances. It just seems to a lot of "mothers" out there, maintenence is just another source of income. If you really wanted to not have the father of your child in your life perhaps look for work where you don't have to rely on his money. You will then financially support your child on your own without having to take his money but not allow him to have anything to do with the child.

The woman really hold all the cards don't we. We decide to have the children. If the man doesn't, tough really, baby is in our bodies. We are the ones who have custody and then dictate when the father can see his child. We are the ones who decide, when the bloke does something we don't really agree with because we forget men don't parent the same way as us so they never will reach our parenting standards will they? Blokes don't really stand a chance do they?

Loopy_Girl

tigtag02 wrote: »

I tried not to be patronising - apologies if I was.

You however have been downright rude, please dont bleat onto me about how 'unperfect' your life is when you know nothing of mine.

Difference is my glass is half full - you seem to like yours half empty judging by your little rant above!!

The point I was making was that not YOUR life in particular was pink and fluffy but the ideals you write about it your posts. If you read properly you would see I agreed with your ideals, just not the pink, fluffy world we would need for them to be applied.

Oh, and for the record, 'love', your comment about not getting pregnant to a loser was totally out of order!!

My ideas are sinple (and a little contraversial it would seem in your head)...children have 2 parents and unless the child's welfare is in danger then both parent's should have an opportunity to be involved in their life - despite what the other parent thinks. Can you imagine if an NRP came on here and said they wanted nothing to do with their child?

As for the rest of your little rant love, shocking as this may seem, I don't give a toss what you think about me!

lilabeth_2

I'm not looking for an income from his matience if i did get money off him it would go in my childs bank account. I've managed 4 15months i was just looking for advice on whether he would have 2 c her if he paid that's all. I can't work as im in uni, run a house n look after a baby...working part-time is outta the question.

tsstss7

Lilabeth if you want to apply for child support then you should - but you have to be aware that it may precipiate a need for him to see his daughter (if only because he suddenly has a constant reminder that he has a child where previously he was turning a blind eye so to speak) and if that were to happen their is not much likelihood he would not get access through the courts.

If you want assurances that applying for CSA will not make it more likely that he would gain access then of course it won't because the fact is if he wants access he will most likely get it there nothing you can do to change that, you recieving or not receiving CSA payments has no bearing on this.