csa babies dad

overthehills

Please do not take this personally what I am about to say. If you are a student, fantastic, but you have plenty of time for a family. people nowadays seem to have children without thinking about the future. With all due respect, and I do not mean to upset you, but if you are a studant, and can I guess a young one at that, why have a child?
If you don't want to make a claim then don't. They will however, reduce payments but the fact of the matter is, if ytou can't afford a child, you should have thought about that especially knowing the kind of "waster" you were getting involved with. Perhaps it was obvious at the time that he wasn't in the position to financially support a child. Children cost a lot of money. I had mine when I was in a stable relationship and both my husband and I could financially support our family. Incidently, I never pointed the finger at you for trapping anyone. I merely said it goes on. My hubs ex was one who tried that and she was supposed to have a mature head on her shoulders.

I'm sure many young mothers, and I mean those teens who have no future except to sponge off the state, don't think of the long term when having kids. Many "just want something to love or have it love them" Kids have kids because of their lifestyle and issues not because they are in a loving mature relationship and want to start and support a family.

All I can say is yes, it must be hard being a studant and raising a family but in the cold hard day, you are a young person with a whole life ahead and should have thought about that before having a child. My son is a studant and has a girlfriend and I would be mortified if she got pregnant. In their circumstances, there would be totally no reason for it apart from her "circumstances at home" Not a good enough excuse in my book!
I wish you all the very best in raising your child.

Pssst

lilabeth wrote: »

hi I have a lil one whos 15months and the babies dad is not on the birth certificate.
the jobcentre are trying to make me contact the CSA....
would he have to visit her if he does make payments? because he hasnt seen her AT ALL and I don't see why he should lol

thanks

There are two issues here,financial and emotional.
Financially yes please,both myself and probably every other taxpayer would like the father to pay for his child.

Emotionally,well if he has never bothered with the child, in all honesty he probably doesnt care about it. It may have been just a shag and not bourne out of any kind of long standing relationship. Only you know that.

Either way,yes i think I'd like him to pay and in fact, I'd like it to be the law that you have to co operated and he has to pay..lol.

Loopy_Girl

But accidents can and do happen

Not saying that every unplanned pregnancy is a accident (in the sense that precautions were taken but failed) but they can and do.

lilabeth_2

well i know the JCP can't make me but they're trying to make me which is why i needed advice.

overthehills you shouldn't judge me because you don't know me. I wasn't in uni when I got pregnant i was working but i couldn't go back to work once I had her. so it was either life on the dole or go 2 uni which 1 would you decide?!

you know nothing about why I had a child with him or anything. i can afford her but why should he get away with it?

Loopy_Girl

Well they can't make you. If you don't want to then you don't have to.

It's up to you whether you do it and not the DWP. Your benefit entitlement will be the same regardless.

If you do get CS when you are on IS then you can keep the first £20. When you go back to Uni you will be able to keep the full amount.

tsstss7

overthehills wrote: »

Please do not take this personally what I am about to say. If you are a student, fantastic, but you have plenty of time for a family. people nowadays seem to have children without thinking about the future. With all due respect, and I do not mean to upset you, but if you are a studant, and can I guess a young one at that, why have a child?
If you don't want to make a claim then don't. They will however, reduce payments but the fact of the matter is, if ytou can't afford a child, you should have thought about that especially knowing the kind of "waster" you were getting involved with. Perhaps it was obvious at the time that he wasn't in the position to financially support a child. Children cost a lot of money. I had mine when I was in a stable relationship and both my husband and I could financially support our family. Incidently, I never pointed the finger at you for trapping anyone. I merely said it goes on. My hubs ex was one who tried that and she was supposed to have a mature head on her shoulders.

I'm sure many young mothers, and I mean those teens who have no future except to sponge off the state, don't think of the long term when having kids. Many "just want something to love or have it love them" Kids have kids because of their lifestyle and issues not because they are in a loving mature relationship and want to start and support a family.

All I can say is yes, it must be hard being a studant and raising a family but in the cold hard day, you are a young person with a whole life ahead and should have thought about that before having a child. My son is a studant and has a girlfriend and I would be mortified if she got pregnant. In their circumstances, there would be totally no reason for it apart from her "circumstances at home" Not a good enough excuse in my book!
I wish you all the very best in raising your child.

No they wont the law changed last year.

Fact is if dad is an alcoholic OP might be opening a pandoras box by applying for csa payments whatever the rights and wrongs here.

lilabeth_2

thanks for your advice Loopygirl

tsstss7

you

lilabeth wrote: »

well i know the JCP can't make me but they're trying to make me which is why i needed advice.

overthehills you shouldn't judge me because you don't know me. I wasn't in uni when I got pregnant i was working but i couldn't go back to work once I had her. so it was either life on the dole or go 2 uni which 1 would you decide?!

you know nothing about why I had a child with him or anything. i can afford her but why should he get away with it?

If you really don't want to apply then you you don't have to - I know people in this situation. But to be honest you are not sounding too sure here.

You can change your mind later on if things settle down/change.

lilabeth_2

I want to apply for it I just don't want him seeing my daughter. I might sound like an money grabbing B***H, but he didn't bother when I was pregnant or when she was born so I don't see why he should come into her life now.

tigtag02

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

To be honest I wouldn't have a baby with a drinker/jailbird...BUT if I did find myself pregnant then I certaintly wouldn't have the audacity or right to keep my child from him.

I certaintly wouldn't wave them cheerily away on a Friday for a weekend visit - it would most defo be supervised short visits until he could prove himself - but I wouldn't deny the child a chance to know their father...and then they can make their own minds up without my being accused of sullying their mind and them making up a version of their Dad in their head as they can't see him.

Children take things much better than we give them credit for I think and are much more astute.

Whilst in principle I agree with everything that you have said I also think that it must be nice to live in your pink, fluffy and perfect world!