csa babies dad

lilabeth_2

hi I have a lil one whos 15months and the babies dad is not on the birth certificate.
the jobcentre are trying to make me contact the CSA....
would he have to visit her if he does make payments? because he hasnt seen her AT ALL and I don't see why he should lol

thanks

Zara33

No you can get child support payments even if the father has no contact and is not on the birth certificate.

catenorfolk

altho you dont want him to perhaps it will be beneficial for the child in the future to maintain contact. your baby has a whole big family out there that she may miss out on, just think of all the grandparents, aunts uncles and cousins.

lilabeth_2

he hasn't attempted to see her or given me a penny towards her. thats why I don't want him to have contact because he is a waster basically

catenorfolk

Why would you not want money from him but want to claim income support, where other people are contributing to the upkeep of his child. surely it is a matter of logic to claim maintenance from him to help support you and the child!!!

lilabeth_2

im in uni n during the summer i need to claim income support so for 3months i claim and then i dont so that is why. otherwise i dont claim any benefits

Loopy_Girl

lilabeth wrote: »

because he hasnt seen her AT ALL and I don't see why he should lol

Why he should is beacause he is her Dad. That 'waster' is a man you thought was okay to sleep with and get pregnant to - who are you to decide whether he can see her or not?

If you don't let him see her (if he wants to) then when she is older she will turn on you and accuse you of being the bad one and keeping her Dad away.

If you let him see her and he mucks it up - or doesn't come at all - then who do you think is going to come off best?;)

Think about it.

If you are worried about her safety then you can arrange supervised visits at contact centres where you can be there or not.

lilabeth_2

I offered him plenty of times and theres always an "excuse". Yes I was wrong to sleep with etc but I had my own issues at the time. all he spends his cash on is booze, he doesn't work anymore, in and out of jail.

Loopy_Girl

lilabeth wrote: »

I offered him plenty of times and theres always an "excuse". Yes I was wrong to sleep with etc but I had my own issues at the time. all he spends his cash on is booze, he doesn't work anymore, in and out of jail.

Don't leave the door slammed shut. If he asks then let him see her. Everytime you ask him and he refuses then keep a note of it to show her when she is older. Show her that her Mum was the adult one and tried her best.

You might have issues, he might have issues but don't drag her into it.

But in answer to your question, no - paying CSA doesn't mean he has the right to see her.

jpmummy

lilabeth wrote: »

I offered him plenty of times and theres always an "excuse". Yes I was wrong to sleep with etc but I had my own issues at the time. all he spends his cash on is booze, he doesn't work anymore, in and out of jail.

Good on you for making a life for yourself and your baby. I think you would be thanked more in the future for not introducing your child to an unreliable "Dad", even though he has had the opportunity, I wish you all the best.

catenorfolk

so really if you claim maintenance for your little one, and he hasnt bothered to try and see her up till now, he probably wont bother trying, and if you are lucky to get any monies off him, then you will be better off. If you dont want the monies for yourself, then put it away for your little one as when she gets older there are gonna be big school trips and lots of things she will want. Dont turn any money down, especially in this day and age.