war and peace dalip style!

Numpty_Monkey

dalip wrote: »

Thanks angel...life is a roller coaster ay...now who was it that said that:rotfl:


NM you are not an intruder:mad:. Nobody here is new or old.....never realised a lot of things;)

You know what i mean:p,
I have not gone gone BR , or know the ful story:cool:,
but I know you are one of the good ones in life, that everybody should meet:A

spenderblender

Dalip I feel for you and wish I could be there to give you a great big smudgy hug.
My mum always said that she couldn't provide the material things for my children but she would always be there for the love and hugs that they needed which has never left me. I do think that, that means so much more.
We haven't done the deed as yet but, I still see it as a positive thing and a fresh start does everyone some good.

philnicandamy

Dalip....we've had our ups & downs a little while ago througout EVERY single thing that kicked me you were always around to help pick up the pieces with me....

Now its our turn to be your shoulder in need

peachyprice

Hey sweetpea, wish I were there to wipe your tears.

Sorry to hear you sound so low, there's not much I can add that hasn't been said, but I truly count you as a great friend, and will always be here to give you a big cyberhug
((((((((((:heart2:))))))))))

powell16

big hugs Dalip, you are an brilliant support on this forum, and give great advice, i have only been bankrupt 5 weeks, and i really appreciated the advice you gave me when i was at my lowest. Me and my OH had frequent rows about bankruptcy and having no money and we have got through the early stages so far, although, we are still arguing about not having any money!
take care Dalip, big hugs
sally x

december

OK I'm generally rubbish at writing this kind of thing but here it goes:

I'm really sorry to hear that things aren't fantastic for you at the moment. For all of the time you (and others) have put into helping others (myself included) when often they don't know where to turn, karma should be giving you a huge pat on the back and you should be extremely happy. I'm sorry that life unfortunately rarely works out like that

I do think that it can be hard to go through all of the stress and emotional turmoil related to BR when part of a couple, at least for me, I felt that it was all happening to me and not to him, so how could he understand? I just hope that you and your other half manage to sort things out and that life gets better for the both of you.

With regards to not being able to buy your first grandchild things he/she will need, this is going to sound really blase, and I don't mean it to be, but with the exception of the basics, your grandchild will just need you to be there and to love it, and I've no doubt that you'll make a totally ace grandparent.

Sorry if I've rambled or waffled

/virtual hug
/virtual glass, sorry pint of Baileys
December

rog2

dalip wrote: »

Perhaps i should not post this whilst i am in this frame of mind but i just feel i have to say bc is not a bed of roses.
You see no credit to go out on a whim for drink,for a meal,can not throw all manner of things into the trolly when shopping, so fridge is bare along with the freezer and the cupbard. The shower packed up and can not afford a new one. The light broke in the bathroom and we can not afford the £20 to replace it. The kitchen needs painting as does the hall stairs and landing,none of my internal doors close properly cause we can not afford to buy new ones, the list goes on.

So to anybody out there thinking bc is a doddle.Easy it is not and it does have repercussions for years to come. So think long and hard before you take that leap it is not just about debt.

PS sorry for the gut spilling but another side to bc is you find out who you "friends" are;););)and i don't have any:o

Hi dalip - THANK YOU for 'opening up' - your words ring so true for so many of us - not least my own bankruptcy.

Whilst I may put on a brave front - and I genuinely do try and help others by relating my own experiences in order that they can learn from my mistakes - I can not pretend that I wouldn't have given anything not to have gone through the experience of bankruptcy.

My wife has borne the brunt of my situation, from having to put all of her personal savings, plus entering into a mortgage, to 'buy' my BI in the house. We put rugs over the holes in the carpets, because we can't afford to replace them - we were 'watching the pennies' before my bankruptcy and it is much more difficult having to make economies when you are already living frugally. Gone are our plans of taking early retirement to live in Italy. The car is lying 'dead' on the drive because we can't afford to fix it.
I had to adjust from running my own business to, having been refused any JSA or benefits, taking a virtually 'minimum wage' job where I can't even get contracted hours, often not earning enough to cover the monthly repayments on our new 'mortgage'. And, at 58 years old, it is extremely difficult to find a job commensurate with either my qualifications or experience.
Understandably, like yours, our relationship is not at its best - conversation has, for us, become a lost art - yet, in spite of everything, she has stuck by me, and, often, that is the only thing that has kept me going.
It's almost two years since I was discharged from bankruptcy and things do not seem to be improving, but they will - and I'm sure they will for you as well.
You are quite right - Bankruptcy is not easy.

Take care - Rog.

paulc19

Sorry to hear you're going through what seems like a '!!!!!!' time right now. I am absolutely certain things will get better for you. Like you say BR is no bed of roses and it's important to understand this before entering into the process. I would make two points:

I guess how BR affects you and how much stress it causes will depend upon your circumstances to begin with. For me, i had nothing to lose, abssolutely nothing. The day i did it, i just felt my shoulders drop from the huge weight being lifted from them, the debt was absorbed and so far it has been happy days...now if people have a house, expensive car, a bussiness etc... it's obviously a completely different scenario.

The second bit is a response to your paragraph about not being able to go out on a whim with mates, stick things in your trolley without thinking etc...yet for me, that is exactly the nail hit on the head and it is a very, very good thing. If one (i.e. me/you/whoever) is constantly living beyond their means, that's where the problem stats. I'm very happy that i think about everything i put in my trolley these days and question if i need it, can i buy it cheaper elsewhere etc... and that it's taught me to be savvy and much better at budgeting than i ever was.

At the end of the day before this i was in a debt management plan which barely left me enough to cover the household shopping...never be able to go anywhere at weekends due to having no petrol so hardships are certainly nothing new and now it's freed up an extra bit of money with no IPA, also coincided with a slight promotion at work and the wife winning her DLA appeal (which the OR has said he is not interested in) we do live a better quality of life.

Like i said, i appeciate that BR can be a lot more stressful for some but on the flipside, i want people to see it can be a release and the start of a new life.

Best wishes D. As i said, everyone knows you'll get there even if things seem hard right now.

Paul

chazsucks

I'm really sorry, new here... but what is
BC
BR
IVA
DMP
DFD
IPA
DLA
????
I am soooo confused!

maxmycardagain

chazsucks wrote: »

I'm really sorry, new here... but what is
BC Bankruptcy
BR As above or BRU, Bnaking Restriction Undertaking - extended bad credit upto 15 years
IVA Individual Voluntary Arrangement
DMP Debt management plan (satves off creditors)
DFD - Dunno
????
I am soooo confused!

i was never confused