war and peace dalip style!

dalip

Perhaps i should not post this whilst i am in this frame of mind but i just feel i have to say bc is not a bed of roses. For those who know me they know of my outpourings every so often:o

For those who don't know me..i found his forum AFTER i went bc, so knew nothing of DMP ect but had heard of IVA's thanks to the media coverage for DFD:mad:.

I had been struggling for a while.....bc no way... not me.....not that bad. But it bloody was,when i sat down and wrote it all down in black and white .....what a mess...how had it ever got to that much.42K:o

Contacted DFD who had a good sales pitch. Then changed to another company for my own reasons. They too promised me everything would be ok....at a fee. Anyway after a couple of missed payments to my 6 or was it 8 creditors:rolleyes:,whilst the paperwork went through,this company said i could not do an IVA,not enough earnings for them to recoup their fees. So bc it was. That was nov 07.

I saw bc as my saviour...i could leave the job i hated...or thought i did,get this heavy weight from around my neck:o

The old saying the "grass is greener" springs to mind.

My OH had no idea of the emotional side of it all....which has affected me badly.Still doesen't

You see no credit to go out on a whim for drink,for a meal,can not throw all manner of things into the trolly when shopping, so fridge is bare along with the freezer and the cupbard. The shower packed up and can not afford a new one. The light broke in the bathroom and we can not afford the £20 to replace it. The kitchen needs painting as does the hall stairs and landing,none of my internal doors close properly cause we can not afford to buy new ones, the list goes on.

My marriage is on the brink..... cause i hold so much resentment for MY bc.I can not move on.I thought bc and a new job(for us both) would be the bee knees.... instead nothing has changed,at least marriage not wise:oExcept with no debt to focus on i see all the cracks,that god knows how long have been there

And my job... what job... just got laid off...if only i had stayed in the job i hated.. at least it was secure and paid well. All those jobs above(the house) and more would have been done by now.


So to anybody out there thinking bc is a doddle.Easy it is not and it does have repercussions for years to come. So think long and hard before you take that leap it is not just about debt.

Would i have done things differently......with forum maybe i would.....but not everybody has the the help,,knowledge and comfort of this forum. Wish i had.

I dont want to put anybody off bc but i just want all you people thinking/doing it to realise it is not all about debt. I know i speak for a few on this forum when i say that;)and you know who you are.Dx

PS sorry for the gut spilling but another side to bc is you find out who you "friends" are;););)and i don't have any:o

sieve

dalip wrote: »

PS sorry for the gut spilling but another side to bc is you find out who you "friends" are;););)and i don't have any:o

You do here D

gettingbetter

((((((((((((dalip))))))))))))))))

br is bloody hard work

<<<<<<<<<would be proud to
be your friend even if only on here

kas xx

Merry_Gentry

Honoured to count you as a friend, and here whenever you need. You have always been incredibly helpful D, since the time I came on here, and if anyone deserved to see the 'bright' side after bc it is you. Mega (((((HUGS))))))) honey xxx

dalip

sieve wrote: »

You do here D

Yes i do, why do you think i spilled my guts here......OH just does not understand...mind i am a very emotional female as phil will tell you;).lol

Thanks you don't know what that replies means to me

dalip

Merry_Gentry wrote: »

Honoured to count you as a friend, and here whenever you need. You have always been incredibly helpful D, since the time I came on here, and if anyone deserved to see the 'bright' side after bc it is you. Mega (((((HUGS))))))) honey xxx

Oh girl you have had it harder than most of us and i feel like a whinging child now.....tears are aflowing

tattycath

Sorry you're finding things so difficult.
BR was never meant to be a cure all. I did it in 2006-before I found this website-similar figure to you involved. My partner (we'd only known each other a couple of months) held my hand through the br process. It was a weight off my shoulders-no I can't go out and spend on ccs, no we can't just nip out for a drink or a cosy meal together. But since finding this website we can live to our means...or at least we live better for the money we have got than we would have if I hadn't found this website-thanks Martin and everyone else.
I hate debt now. I see the error of my ways-I'm lucky being in a great relationship that goes from strength to strength.
I hope you manage to sort things out... Everything happens for a reason... Maybe going BR has made you notice the cracks you wouldn't otherwise have noticed-now you are aware of them you are in a better position to deal with them.
Good luck

Merry_Gentry

dalip wrote: »

Oh girl you have had it harder than most of us and i feel like a whinging child now.....tears are aflowing

You daft bint, wish I could give you a proper cuddle xx

mr_&_mrs_2

Hey get that chin up...

My O/H & i have started that money-no-money niggling this morning, we swore we were not going to argue over all this...

Times are really hard for us at the moment....I think if we did have cracks in our marriage then this Bancruptcy would certainly push us over the edge.....

You have a lot of support here....i know its hard to keep going and not let it all get on top of you .......

Please try to keep your marriage together....talk talk talk

Lightattheend

I may not have been on here long but hope I can offer you my friendship.

gettingbetter

hunny bunch

if you cant let off steam here
then where the hell can you do it
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
you know we all listen and if we can help
we will.
you along with a lot of other posters have
given me a boast and the advice is sound

think i would have been a wreck if
my mum hadnt pointed me here

was going to give you one of those dodgy hugs
but it didnt look right

chin up chuck

kas xx