war and peace dalip style!

dalip

Richard_S wrote: »

Hi Dalip,

There are few if any quick fixes in this life; well maybe winning the lottery could be one.:rolleyes::rolleyes:Did I hear somebody say winning several millions was a poisoned chalice? Certainly one I'd take great delight in sampling from; whatever the risks.

All bankruptcy can ever do for any of us is to take away the burden of unsustainable debt. To think that it can somehow put right the other problems in our lives is unrealistic, but understandably human.

The incremental approach to life is the one that I think works best for most people. Keep sniping away at each problem, little or large, and there does come a point when you look back and life has improved in all sorts of small but meaningful ways.

Its very rare that just one course of action is going to result in a life changing set of events.I never expected it to rich...just nieve to think that OH would take some responsibilty for the situation we(not just i) were in:rolleyes:

Keep believing and things will come right,:A:A

Rich

I am too tired to keep fighting eveybodys battles rich... i am seen as strong but i have my own insecuritites:o

dalip

what happened to merlins post was just about to pm him...again

Waspeze

Can't really add to whats already been said.. but your friends are here for you .. you know that D x

JCS1

Hi Dalip,

I prescribe some alcohol/big cup of tea and a long hot bath - nearly always works for me.

And pm me (or I'm sure anyone else who has responded to your thread) if you want to chat.

J

yellowmonkey

As you go through life certain people you talk too or meet stick with you with the rest of your life. You are one of those to me as are others on here and without the advice and guidance I have had I would not have chosen the road I have.

This forum and the people on it will stick in my memory forever

Gosh that sounded A bit soppy but what the heck

ym

dalip

Awwwww waspy...you obviously stll lurk;)..miss you

JS & YM maybe it's the time of the month....just so tearful and feel overloaded...guilty for loosing my job.....can not help buy my daughter the things she needs for my first grandchild.

Because before christmas when there was plenty of overtime i booked an expensive villa for a wk....my 50th. Do you never learn:rolleyes:. It was cheaper to find the money than to loose what we had already paid out so we have scrimped...now i have lost my job ..wish to god i could stay home and use the spending money for the bills that are sure to come through the door.It would mean letting people down.....not my thing.


HINDSIGHT THATS ALL I ASK A BIT OF HINDSIGHT...:o

Lensman_2

Dalip.

I still haven't formed an answer on whether it is better to go through this with a partner or alone. I am alone. Sometimes desperately alone. However, for sure lots of BRs end up getting to live life both ways....

For you, the adjustment to living without credit came at the same time as BR. I have been very lucky. I have been able to make that adjustment seperately and I have been able to put some rainy day money away at the same time. (BR is six months away for me yet). But make no mistake - that adjustment is profound - like giving up fags. It was just a part of my life before, I was the same as you. But then, it is also the reason that I am posting to you here today.

To say you have no friends stings a bit. True, we are only like the "pen pals" of old. But I bet you would be surprised how many of us would drive a hundred miles or so to be at your door if you really needed it.

Bankruptcy IS life changing. That is why I am so afraid of it. There is no going back once it is done either. It is so life changing that many many people here have lost partners over it (again I'm lucky, I already got the sack from SWMBO).

But many many people here have said afterwards, it was a good thing and they wish they had done it sooner.

SSA posted on my noob thread

Anyway...welcome to the `rollercoaster`...try & enjoy the ride!!!!!

She was so right.

I deeply hope that you can look back on this time - perhaps only in years to come - and say "Yep, that was the right thing to do".

In the meantime I hope tomorrow is better than today. And the day after that. And the day after that too.

Jim

Waspeze

dalip wrote: »

Awwwww waspy...you obviously stll lurk;)..miss you

Off course I still lurk .. can't stay away that much ya know

never any good with giving "emotional" advice .. but will always be a shoulder to you if you need one

Lightattheend

Reading through these posts has made me realise maybe, just maybe, I'm lucky to be going through this on my own, at least I only have to deal with my mess and not my ex partners - his new partner has to deal with it so no longer my problem!

But then again, it would be nice to have someone to talk to about it and help pick me up when I'm down - wait a minute, I have someone, all the amazing people on this forum. Thats why I'm glad I found you all and if anyone needs a shoulder or an ear I'm here, I may talk too much (who laughed?) but I'm a good 'listener' as well.

fiveyearplan

Oh Dalip - I had no idea you were feeling so down. You have so much positive going on in your life right now with a new grandchild on the way. It isn't your responsibility to buy all the new things he/she needs - you've been there and done that. I'm sure you wish you could help more financially but hey you've given your girls everything - time for them to take responsibility for themselves. Who helped you out when they were born?