war and peace dalip style!

startagain_2

Hey dalip,

I wish I could be near enough to give you a proper hug and not a written one but my thoughts are well and truly with you and I really do know what you mean.
It is so, so true - it isn't a bed of roses, far from it and I think a number of us are feeling that way at the moment. I am really sorry that things on a personal level are rocky too, I am wearing that particular t shirt too, as you know.
You are bang on when you talk about how focussing on the debt takes the thoughts away from other stuff, but it is all too there when the BR is in place.
I thought you had been pretty quiet recently and was hoping that you were OK, now we know.
I sincerely hope that another job door will open for you shortly and that is a good, secure one for you. By God, you deserve it.
You are one of my "up there" people on here, dalip, and I really hope that things take a turn for the better for you very quickly.
Big hugs......

SA

peppa-pig

thanks for posting that dalip.
it is a hard journey to make.
i have had my ups and downs and blamed most of it on pregnacy hormones which i dont think have helped in the slightest.
it is hard trying to live within your means. with no CCs, overdrafts etc to use whenever you want.
we will all get there in the end. just wish it was an easier hill rather than a huge mountain to climb.

dalip

peppa-pig wrote: »

thanks for posting that dalip.
it is a hard journey to make.
i have had my ups and downs and blamed most of it on pregnacy hormones which i dont think have helped in the slightest.
it is hard trying to live within your means. with no CCs, overdrafts etc to use whenever you want.
we will all get there in the end. just wish it was an easier hill rather than a huge mountain to climb.

Yes over the course of the last 18mths i have blamed hormones(had ovaries removed in nov 06),bc,job,money....even now not sure which is the biggest culprit:o

blind-as-a-bat_2

Dalip, i can relate to nearly all af that, BR does not slove all your problems, removes some yes, but those get re replaced with new ones, well not new, just ones you did not know where there:o

i may be six months further down the road to you, but i think you know im just about in the same position as you, you and i have sorted our debt, we went through all that and should be free of all that now, but our OH's have not, and we are now wrapped up keeping the wolves from the door because of there debts.

Its harder because you resent having to do it, and you feel like you are in exactly the same place you where, all that fear, shame, soulsearching and tears and it got you no where.

The question you need to ask yourself is, is it the resentment of that fact the cause of the cracks?

Hang in there girl, You certanly did find who your friends where, and by the replys so far, you have plenty;)

Tobiwan_Kenobi

Well said Dalip - I know you are one of the stronger characters on this forum, and I'm sure many wish you well (myself included).

I'm only 5 weeks in and my OH has been fantastic - We spoke beforehand about the fact that things would be stressful and tempers could fray. They have a few times, but we've just reminded ourselves that we said that would be the case. To be honest, I think she just wants me out the house and back to work, but finding a job ain't that great right now!

I always try to put a positive spin on things, but have to say I'm looking forward to living life without credit. I used CCs for 20 nearly years and, whilst the convenience was great, look where they've landed me! OK, so the cards couldn't do it without me but you know what I mean. Living life within my means will be great once I get an income!

Chin up girl - Try not to think to far ahead but live for today.

dalip

Oh bat you are so right.

And yes i do think the resentent is from ME dealing with my debts whilst others in my family refuse to.

There is a lot more to it though.... which i can not put on an open forum;).

Bless you bat....and all the others.


I came to sound off...to get it of my sagging chest and have been rewarded with all your replies.

Sounds soppy but not sure where i would be without this place:o

k2nga

Im glad you have written this as i think many see it as an easy option when it is certainly not. Like you say you lose the debt but the rest of you life still has to be lived and that can be really hard as i have found for myself and still am whilst looking for work.

nervousmother

Hugs Dalip.
BR can only sort so much out, its up to you to start understanding where your feelings are coming from. OH's are strange creatures we think we know them so well but then the deal with a 'situation' in a way we would have never had dreamed. You do still have each other take him for a pic nic the next nice weather day, Jam sarnie in the park with a cheap bottle of beer can be just as fun as a posh meal out ;-)
You have us, we may not be family but we understand. Open up all you like.. hugs again.

dalip

Yes i often think maybe if i had delt with my debt a year earlier ect things may have been different...but as far as i was concerned it was not too much of a problem a year before....but i am kidding myself. I had to have 6 wks off after a major op and can remember thinking what the hell am i going to do if the boss does not pay me..he did but it just allowed me to pretend nothing was wrong for a bit longer:o

Maybe that job i left really was that bad but when you are unemployed you forget....you just remember the wages and the security.

Richard_S

Hi Dalip,

There are few if any quick fixes in this life; well maybe winning the lottery could be one.:rolleyes::rolleyes:Did I hear somebody say winning several millions was a poisoned chalice? Certainly one I'd take great delight in sampling from; whatever the risks.

All bankruptcy can ever do for any of us is to take away the burden of unsustainable debt. To think that it can somehow put right the other problems in our lives is unrealistic, but understandably human.

The incremental approach to life is the one that I think works best for most people. Keep sniping away at each problem, little or large, and there does come a point when you look back and life has improved in all sorts of small but meaningful ways.

Its very rare that just one course of action is going to result in a life changing set of events.

Keep believing and things will come right,:A:A

Rich