should i wait to set up supervised contact?

whmn

So I guess the point is really - don't allow him anything less than supervised contact when domestic violence is involved - otherwise you may be having to prove down the line that he is a risk to your children, when unsupervised contact has happened for a while. That's very hard to do then - especially with clever lying @@@@s like these.

CouponWoman

Hi jetcat

I am so sorry you are suffering like this, men can be real b......s

you have 2 problems, 1 yourself being attacked and 2 your children seeing their father.

With regard to your ex attacking you - this is clearly disgraceful and you should phone a solicitor on Monday and ask for an injunction to keep him away. If he approaches you in any way the police can arrest him. You say your ex has a friend who is a policeman. this policeman should not be involved and you should inform your solicitor about this. He can make a complaint via his superiors at the police station he should then be warned to keep out of it or face disciplinary action.

with regards to your children - I am afraid I think visitation is not straightforward at all. This man is violent.

Let him make an application via his own solicitor, when you can prove domestic violence has taken place the court will either allow your ex supervised contact or no contact at all. He has already bullied one of your children into giving her address therefore how far would he take the bullying in the future.

Whereas I do think fathers should be allowed to see their children, I am afraid where violence has taken place I would err on the side of caution.

Take care of yourself, the fact you are talking to people on here means you are stronger than you think. Will be thinking of you.

jetcat

hi all, hope it is ok i post a little update. I have an appointment with a solicitor next week, which my cpn is coming with me. As ex has not been in touch over the last few days, my resolve was weakening a little if i am honest, and i was thinking that i could just leave things the way they are - not upset him again.

But, after re-reading my thread, i reminded myself how low i felt, and that i def need to sort something. So, am seeing solicitor to see what my options are if he does decide he does want to see them. DD1 stil doesnt, and he doesnt have PR for her, but he does for DD2, and she is too young to say what she wants yet!

am extremely nervous, but it needs doing!