MSE Pregnancy Club IX

Nicki

Damzel_In_Distress wrote: »

I know what you mean about this bit. You dont want to say anything but at the same time some times it would be useful to. I remember a friend of mine going out buying things as soon as she found out and i really really wanted to tell her not to. I would never buy anything until after my first scan.But you dont want to tell others not to as its their choice and you feel as though your being rude and almost inappropiate to mention the possible bad. I saw my friend waste over £200 only the mis-carry before 12 weeks.
Sometimes i think it might just be best to say as nicely and politely as possible in a not so round about way for your friends etc to hold off until a bit later. I know excitement is a hard thing to ignore though...

I felt this at the time with EA, when she was pushing so hard at work for her risk assessment and really having to make such a huge fuss to get it. It seemed to me to be very early days for her, as most office-based workers, unless they also work with chemicals, don't even tell work until they are past the 12 week mark. I discovered with my first pregnancy that I'd had a missed miscarriage when I was 17 weeks, so although I didn't break the news to work first time round until past the magic 12 week mark, I still had to go through the whole going back to work with everyone knowing what had happened malarky, which was so horrendous it still haunts me more than 15 years later. I hope that things work out OK with EA and that her work are nicer to her and more sympathetic than they have been up until now (and better than my work were at the time), and that's she's back here soon with better news.

I was one of those who joined here when I was quite early on, but read far more than I posted in the early stages, and only really allowed myself to use the thread to obsess about my anxieties rather than get too excited about things until I'd had the scan to know that all was well. It is really hard I think when you have been letting yourself get very excited to have to come back and post bad news, and it also causes a lot of anxiety with others who are also still in first tri, but as others have said its not really possible to suggest to anyone that they try not to get too emotionally invested until things are a bit more established, as that's a horrible and hurtful thing to hear when you're newly pregnant as HypnoNu found out. I do think though that until you have experienced a pregnancy loss its very hard to contemplate that anything might go wrong with your pregnancy, and knowing the 1 in 4 mc rate doesn't really sink in until it actually happens.

Damzel_In_Distress

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Damzel - not being rude but are you overweight? just I've heard that hormonal types of contra don't work as well as they should if ur overweight...

I can recomend the Mirena IUS for after this one tho

I cant belive just thanked you for that post

No no...im not. My bmi is in the healthy range and im only a size 10-12.

I was checked out in december and my bmi was 23 so definitly not.

Sami_Bee

Molly - from FSID website

Parents who identified the risks (percent)
Radiator: cot positioned next to radiator - 73%
Blankets: blankets are loose rather than firmly tucked in - 70%
Pillow: baby sleeping on a pillow - 52%
Hat: hat on baby’s head - 45%
Side sleeping: baby asleep on its side rather than back - 31%
Feet-to-foot: baby in middle of cot and not feet-to-foot position - 31%
Nursery: baby in its own nursery rather than parents’ room - 10%
Dummy: no dummy in baby’s mouth - 5%
Nothing wrong with this picture - 2%
Other - 4%
Don’t know - 7%

A further 32% wrongly identified cot bumpers as a risk, but research has shown that they have neither good nor bad effects in terms of cot death risk.

http://www.fsid.org.uk/mothercare-poll-press.html

Sami_Bee

there is a little test you can take here http://www.fsid.org.uk/safe-sleep-test.html
to see if u know the 'right' way to put baby to bed

EDIT best worded bit of info

Bumpers: there are cot bumpers in the cot. In the past, there were concerns that bumpers might make babies too hot, increasing the risk of cot death. However, research has shown that they have neither good nor bad effects. Take it out when your baby can get up on her hands and knees so she can’t climb out. Make sure there are no trailing strings or ties.

mollythewestie

Sami - thanks for that link, it is just the info I was looking for

Sami_Bee

Molly - ur welcome

DID- can you forgive me?

I forgot to say before, while MW was here after she'd measured and listened to bubs, Chris lay down where I'd been and lifted his top so she could listen to his baby too :rotfl: she was really nice n used the dopler so we heard his bowels gurgle a bit and he was happy :A

Damzel_In_Distress

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Molly - ur welcome

DID- can you forgive me?

I forgot to say before, while MW was here after she'd measured and listened to bubs, Chris lay down where I'd been and lifted his top so she could listen to his baby too :rotfl: she was really nice n used the dopler so we heard his bowels gurgle a bit and he was happy :A

I suppose so..;)

Im off to tesco in a moment. Im going to be one of those "horrible chav mums" as everyone mse calls them who goes to greggs for a sausage roll :rotfl:.....

aless02

Nicki - thanks for the fab/beautiful post...I think it's a perfect summary of the catch-22 of the newly pregnant.

lizziebell*80

Nicki wrote: »

I was one of those who joined here when I was quite early on, but read far more than I posted in the early stages, and only really allowed myself to use the thread to obsess about my anxieties rather than get too excited about things until I'd had the scan to know that all was well. It is really hard I think when you have been letting yourself get very excited to have to come back and post bad news, and it also causes a lot of anxiety with others who are also still in first tri, but as others have said its not really possible to suggest to anyone that they try not to get too emotionally invested until things are a bit more established, as that's a horrible and hurtful thing to hear when you're newly pregnant as HypnoNu found out. I do think though that until you have experienced a pregnancy loss its very hard to contemplate that anything might go wrong with your pregnancy, and knowing the 1 in 4 mc rate doesn't really sink in until it actually happens.

I am the same, technically I am now in the 2nd trimester however I cannot bring myself to even join in here yet, it still feels too early and with recent bad news it just makes me more nervous about things-hope you ladies are all ok.

I have had scans and can hear the heartbeat on my doppler, but I am still cautious (blighted ovum diagnosed at 8 weeks last Oct probably being the reason-even then I was very cautious and knew something was wrong-I must just be a pessimist in the end!). I read everyday nearly and have posted a few times.

Occasionally I have replied to ladies who were newly pg and asking questions regarding buying things such as maternity clothes etc before 12 weeks (not that I even think that is the magic number!) and I do try and let them know that yes it is exciting initially, but it can be best to wait and see what happens, trying not to be a party pooper. I feel that if they are asking for advise they should get both sides as yes it is horrible when it happens but there is no harm is being made aware that it might, because it just as easily might not.

ticklepenny_2

sami - If you are buying through Goldsmiths it may be worth doing it through Pigsback.com as you get 12 points per £1 spent Thats alot of points!