The depressively optimistic moneysaving thread

absolutebounder

beachbeth wrote: »

One way I would describe my depression is that my brain feels as though its almost full to bursting. If I have one stress or one task to do then that means my brain is completely full. If I have two or more stresses or tasks then I suffer from overload and end up doing nothing at all because I can't get my head round any of it!

I had 3 of my closest relatives for Sunday lunch. They understand me completely and I can relax in their company (indeed, one of them suffers with depression too). Yet, first thing in the morning I went into the kitchen and saw the meat waiting to go in the oven and thought about all the veg that needed peeling and I just started to feel panicky as though it was all too much. Luckily, it didn't matter because my OH did most of it. This is the way depression affects me and I don't know how to stop this.

:T you have often said I couldnt understand things that I hadnt experienced. whilst we disagree on that one i have experienced what you describe and overload is one of the classic reasons for procrastination.
I love cooking and enjoy it when we have others coming for dinner but although I can cook almost anything I am only good when i am doing a set menu. trouble is we have freinds who are veggies and those who are not so I then have to think more and that is where I find stress creeping in. I can match a chef fior quality but i would have a breakdown after 5 mins if I was working in a restaurant if there were loads of different orders.
I think it comes down to the "how do you eat an elephant" thing. you cant eat it all at once but you can in small pieces at a time. Like q I dont focus on the end result but focus on making the individual parts as good as I can. I tend to write a list and tick things off as I go so if I have 10 items on the list and i do one even though it may have only taken 30 seconds I now have 9 things to do, and so on. by focusing on individual small elements tends to make the klarge picture ok. Well sometimes at least:D

Conrad

absolutebounder wrote: »

For example the most famous hypnotist around the UK is Paul Mckenna .

I'm sceptical anyone in a public setting is hypnotised. I say this because I see suggestibility and compliant students in martial arts where some high grade teacher demonstrates a technique and it works every time on a compliant suggestable student, but in real world frightening, confusing, biting and spitting physical confrontation the techniques do not work at all as they do in training. Many a black belt does't get this - like P McKenna and co, they simply aren't able to step back and take an objective look just as 99% of Bankers would not jhave been able to step away from the Banking coalface in say early 2007 and take a truly objective look at the whole.

Merely the student feels a social pressure in a public / classroom setting to comply.

absolutebounder

Conrad wrote: »

I'm sceptical anyone in a public setting is hypnotised. I say this because I see suggestibility and compliant students in martial arts where some high grade teacher demonstrates a technique and it works every time on a compliant suggestable student, but in real world frightening, confusing, biting and spitting physical confrontation the techniques do not work at all as they do in training. Many a black belt does't get this - like P McKenna and co, they simply aren't able to step back and take an objective look just as 99% of Bankers would not jhave been able to step away from the Banking coalface in say early 2007 and take a truly objective look at the whole.

Merely the student feels a social pressure in a public / classroom setting to comply.

I assume by public setting you are talking of stage shows. In which case I agree that in many cases it is just compliance but not all, there will be some genuinely hypnotised people and some just doing as they are told with an excuse to show off. jackass effect I call it as people volunteer to do anything to be on TV.
However in other public places it is easy to hypnotise someone. many people are in a state of hypnosis at a rock concert for instance.

Conrad

I recommend anyone watches a BBC prog by Alan Yentob called (from memory) 'Happiness'.

He looked at all sorts of self help and wellbeing theories, and found the US stage guru / P McKenna 'you CAN do it' methodologies to be a shallow and wanting compared with the gentle soothing talk of some oriental monk - sorry can't recall the name, but I was astounded by this guys deep and meaningful life enhancing approach.

Instead of telling people they could do anything they wanted, which itself can lead to great stress and further inadequacy feelings, and equating monetry entrapment with sucess he went far deeper, for example asking us to pause at something as everyday as a tree and marvel at the sight we behold and not to constantly naval gaze.

absolutebounder

Conrad wrote: »

I recommend anyone watches a BBC prog by Alan Yentob called (from memory) 'Happiness'.

He looked at all sorts of self help and wellbeing theories, and found the US stage guru / P McKenna 'you CAN do it' methodologies to be a shallow and wanting compared with the gentle soothing talk of some oriental monk - sorry can't recall the name, but I was astounded by this guys deep and meaningful life enhancing approach.

Instead of telling people they could do anything they wanted, which itself can lead to great stress and further inadequacy feelings, and equating monetry entrapment with sucess he went far deeper, for example asking us to pause at something as everyday as a tree and marvel at the sight we behold and not to constantly naval gaze.

I only said he was one of the most famous hypnotists not necessarily the best. However he is not American but british. He mostly uses NLP which was developed from the works of banler grindler and Milton erickson. and few researchers have much idea of what is going on in the work of those 3 especially erickson.
Much eastern philosophy is borrowed these days by the west as it has answrs and help for conditions like depression. I dont discount anything if I find it works

Conrad

absolutebounder wrote: »

This could be where you go wrong as you are probably invoking the law of attraction.
This basically means if you think the worst it is more likely to come about.
Dont ask me how it works I just know it does.

This sounds like a quote from 'The Secret', which my wife and I had a chuckle over on a plane once. Utter drivel. The author in the first few pages said the Jews attracted the holocaust upon themselves.

One thing you might want to be aware of is all the steady at peace with the world people I know, find overly positive people to be insinscere. Did you see how that woman on the last Big Brother was voted out straight away as all the others found her positive thinking to be shallow and over compensatory?

I would agree with the notion we should all challenge the way our brain processes the world though.
I like to question what it is to be me. Which thoughts are me - what am I referencing to, with what inside 'me' am I having an internal conversation.
Why do I spend all day in the sea, but the person next to me on the beach lies still? Did she chose to lie still - if so which part of her brain made that decision and why?

Neural pathways are the route of it all I think.

beachbeth

absolutebounder wrote: »

:T you have often said I couldnt understand things that I hadnt experienced.

No, I said you can't understand depression because you haven't experienced it (not things in general). We can all understand the pain of a broken leg even if we've never experienced it. Therefore, we can understand the need for pain relief for this. However, I have found in my experience that people who haven't either:

1. Suffered with depression themselves
2. Lived closely with someone who suffers with depression

just don't understand depression and therefore don't understand what treatments work best.

Have you ever suffered with flu or other illness that makes you feel woolly headed? Imagine trying to arrange a dinner party for 10 or organise a big conference at work whilst feeling really ill with the flu. This is how it feels when you have depression. You just can't get your head to work properly to organise everything.

beachbeth

absolutebounder wrote: »

However in other public places it is easy to hypnotise someone. many people are in a state of hypnosis at a rock concert for instance.

This is one reason why Hitler was so successful at getting the mass of people behind him - he evoked the same sort of mass hysteria that the Beatles did when they were in concert (obviously with different intentions!).

absolutebounder

Conrad wrote: »

This sounds like a quote from 'The Secret',

Unfortunately it isnt

which my wife and I had a chuckle over on a plane once. Utter drivel. The author in the first few pages said the Jews attracted the holocaust upon themselves.

about as much drivel as the bible saying god sent plagues of locusts. yes but it is the author at fault not the law of attraction

One thing you might want to be aware of is all

What every single one?

the steady at peace with the world people I know, find overly positive people to be insinscere

Could you define overly positive. What exactly does that mean?

. Did you see how that woman on the last Big Brother was voted out straight away as all the others found her positive thinking to be shallow and over compensatory?

unfortunately I leave watching big brother to others. how do you know what the others really felt?

I would agree with the notion we should all challenge the way our brain processes the world though.
I like to question what it is to be me. Which thoughts are me - what am I referencing to, with what inside 'me' am I having an internal conversation.
Why do I spend all day in the sea, but the person next to me on the beach lies still? Did she chose to lie still - if so which part of her brain made that decision and why?

Neural pathways are the route of it all I think.

So are you saying a person is depressed to the extent of their neural paths going the wrong way.

beachbeth

absolutebounder wrote: »

I dont focus on the end result but focus on making the individual parts as good as I can. I tend to write a list and tick things off as I go so if I have 10 items on the list and i do one even though it may have only taken 30 seconds I now have 9 things to do, and so on. by focusing on individual small elements tends to make the klarge picture ok.

This is what I would do before I had depression. I would start to worry about the meal I was preparing for people and then start to break it down into individual pieces, eg "6.00pm boil the potatoes, 7.00pm get the frozen pudding out of the freezer" etc. However, what Im saying is that the depressed person can't do this. It is all so overwhelming that you can't even break it down in this way and carry the tasks out. This is what Im saying you don't understand.