The depressively optimistic moneysaving thread

absolutebounder

alison99 wrote: »

I'm so glad to see the thread back here, I was/am too fragile to post on the DT forum at the moment so I could only read everyone's posts.
I don't know what triggers a bout of Depression, I was bobbing along happily just over a week ago and then BAM, it hit me for six again, it came from nowhere and I was scared that I would end up being sectioned again.
I wish I had a better understanding of why this happens to me, I had a brilliant childhood although I lost both my parents before I was 26, I have a huge family network that have always been there for one another, but suddenly I don't want to see them, I don't want to put on this happy face so they don't ask me too many questions.
I saw someone from the Crisis Team yesterday and a few changes were made in my treatment.
It would be so easy for me to give up, the temptation is huge, but I will battle on, because I know I will get better again.
I just wanted to thank AB too, for being on the other end of a pm when I needed him, thank you so much AB.

Hi Alison.
Do you think you try and live up to other peoples expectations of you?

choille

No, I haven't read any Alice Miller. What is it about?


She's a phsycologist who has a lot to say on how we can internalise a lot of negative stuff if we have had a dysfunctunal upbringing. She has written a lot of books - worth looking at her website on childhood.
Just google Alice Miller.

Unless you 'feel' the rage & anger that you should have been able to express when a child, but wasn't safe, or comfortable being able to, then it will lead to depression & sometimes illness in later life.

She suggests finnding an enlightened witness to go back over all the traumatic childhood stuff with - I don't explain this very well, but this woman knows her stuff big time.
And if every new parent read her stuff & took it on board there would be a lot less criminality, dysfunction, addictions & depressed people about.

There are good articles on her website & stuff on her books - The Body Never Lies.

All the best.

Space_donkey

alison99 wrote: »

I'm so glad to see the thread back here, I was/am too fragile to post on the DT forum at the moment so I could only read everyone's posts.
I don't know what triggers a bout of Depression, I was bobbing along happily just over a week ago and then BAM, it hit me for six again, it came from nowhere and I was scared that I would end up being sectioned again.
I wish I had a better understanding of why this happens to me, I had a brilliant childhood although I lost both my parents before I was 26, I have a huge family network that have always been there for one another, but suddenly I don't want to see them, I don't want to put on this happy face so they don't ask me too many questions.
I saw someone from the Crisis Team yesterday and a few changes were made in my treatment.
It would be so easy for me to give up, the temptation is huge, but I will battle on, because I know I will get better again.
I just wanted to thank AB too, for being on the other end of a pm when I needed him, thank you so much AB.

I think it's great we are back here too. People can be nasty on the discussion threads. Soprry you have had a hard time but it's good there was somebody there for you. Im the same I can be happy one minute then overwhelmed with bad thoughts the next but im getting better at last.

alison99_2

absolutebounder wrote: »

Hi Alison.
Do you think you try and live up to other peoples expectations of you?

I think I probably try and live up to my own expectations of me, which will never happen as I'm my own worse critic. I also think a lot of it is to do with my physical disabilities too, although saying that, I was physically fit when I was 1st diagnosed as depressed.
Oh I don't know what it is, but this lack of sleep certainly doesn't help.

Sssssss

alison99 wrote: »

I think I probably try and live up to my own expectations of me, which will never happen as I'm my own worse critic. I also think a lot of it is to do with my physical disabilities too, although saying that, I was physically fit when I was 1st diagnosed as depressed.
Oh I don't know what it is, but this lack of sleep certainly doesn't help.

Hi Alison, just wanted to say Hi and hope you finally got some sleep, I know tiredness is the worst enemy of depression. I'm feeling really drained now even though I slept okish, hopefully the shower will kick some life back into me. Take care Sssssss.

alison99_2

Sssssss wrote: »

Hi Alison, just wanted to say Hi and hope you finally got some sleep, I know tiredness is the worst enemy of depression. I'm feeling really drained now even though I slept okish, hopefully the shower will kick some life back into me. Take care Sssssss.

Hi Sssssss, tried to get back to sleep but it didn't work, I'm opting for a shower to kickstart my day. It's crazy, I'm absolutely exhausted yet I can't sleep. Have a great day anyway.

smallpackages

(Have I given you the impression that I had a fairly, normal and happy life before my depression? I admit that it should have been but it wasn't.

My parents worked hard running their own business as I grew up with my siblings and didn't have much time for me. Funny thing is though that I don't resent this. This brought financial benefits in that I had the latest toys and we lived in a nice house and had nice things. However, my mum was a bit jeckyll and hyde and I didn't really know where I stood most of the time. I think this has contributed to my depression.

As a teenager I had many rows with my mum (my dad stayed in the background and just backed my mum up when needed, which upset me) and when I got my steady boyfriend (now my husband) you can't believe the relief I felt when I got to his house on a Saturday to spend the weekend with him. I could physically feel the tension leave my body once I got to his house. (At home I couldn't do right for doing wrong and couldn't relax.) His parents were lovely and didn't interfere with our plans at all.

Once we were married my parents caused a lot of grief about what we were doing and not doing. When I was pregnant with my first child (it was planned) her reaction was "What have you gone and done that for?"

This, of course, is my life in a very small nutshell! It was only when I was diagnosed with depression and, at the same time, my mum realised she couldn't bully my husband any more because he would stand up to her, that she started being a bit nicer to us.[/QUOTE]




lots of mixed messages there, no wonder you feel depressed, as far as books go can i recommend homecoming by john bradshaw, and taming the black dog by patrick ellverton

absolutebounder

Something to think about.
I quite often hear people say that they dont know why they became depressed or exactly what triggered it off.
my question is what difference would it make to you if you did know? Since the event is in the past and cant change even if you did know the cause can you do anything about it now.

jayII

Hi AB. I think it can help, it may allow the person to be aware of triggers in the future. They can then either avoid the triggers, take particular care of themselves, or learn (and use) some coping strategies at that time.

tattycath

absolutebounder wrote: »

Something to think about.
I quite often hear people say that they dont know why they became depressed or exactly what triggered it off.
my question is what difference would it make to you if you did know? Since the event is in the past and cant change even if you did know the cause can you do anything about it now.

Well A B. since you ask (hoping this is an open question), I had counselling at one point and I didn't know what the initial trigger was to my depression and I was regressed back to when I was a child.... while i didn't feel the counselling helped as such it did give me a starting point to work from iyswim, and that did help me