The depressively optimistic moneysaving thread

jayII

Thank-you AB, a great thread!

I also don't often get down, but sometimes life is just a tad overwhelming. At those times a hug sometimes helps, but what I really need to do is give myself a shake and do something pro-active, rather than dwell on the issues.

Quasar wrote: »

I'm fortunate in that I have a natural predisposition to be cheerful. However I also go through phases of less than Pollyanna-style feelings, when some problem bugs me. My bizarre technique for getting out of the doldrums is as follows:

Looking at the seemingly hopeless situation from all angles I ask myself: is there ANYTHING I can do?

Suppose the answer is no. Then I ask myself the following questions?

what is the worst thing that can happen out of this?
Can I live with this?
What will be the consequence of this?
Can I live with this?

And so on

I invariably reach a point where the problem is not as awful as it appeared at first, as old saying from back home constantly reminds me: only death cannot be remedied.

Thanks Q. :AThis is exactly what I needed to hear tonight. :rolleyes:

Quasar

jayII wrote: »

Thank-you AB, a great thread!

I also don't often get down, but sometimes life is just a tad overwhelming. At those times a hug sometimes helps, but what I really need to do is give myself a shake and do something pro-active, rather than dwell on the issues.




Thanks Q. :AThis is exactly what I needed to hear tonight. :rolleyes:

Awwwww, not in the doldrums are you?

jayII

Quasar wrote: »

Awwwww, not in the doldrums are you?

I'll survive.

I'll be better soon, it's just part of life. :cool:

Thanks.

beachbeth

absolutebounder wrote: »

Are you feeling better about being a specialist parent yet and giving your hubby the freedom to do man things like be a breadwinner.

Yes Im quite smug!:p

gentlepurr

ameliarate wrote: »

I suffered from depression a few years ago and as I started to get better I reached an in between point when I felt it was almost better to be depressed because it was easier to give into it than to fight it. Fortunately I did get better.

Sometimes now I find my mood can drop very quickly and I have to force myself to get back up and refuse to become depressed, which can be hard work sometimes. (I wish I could the same willpower to stop smoking but that's a different thread).

One of the things I learned from my depression is that actually I am quite a nice person and don't deserve horrible things happening to me in fact I deserve good things and I try to remember that when my mood drops now. I remind myself how awful it was being seriously depressed and make myself look at whatever it is causing my mood to drop and find a way to stop it so that I can pick my mood up again.

A bit gibberish but I think the gist is clear.

I think realising the point highlighted above is halfway to being able to concsiously trying to overcome it.

I have a friend who is really low, and no matter what i try to say or do to help she is powerless to pull herslef away from the easy option of always doing or feeling how she has always felt. The happy list (see my previous post) she cant do because "nothing ever happens to make me happy" yet i can tell her lots of things that have made her happy and she will agree that these things have made her happy, but she cant see anything good in her life for herself. I dont know, maybe she will find her lightbulb moment, maybe i am being presumptuous in trying to help her find it, but its as if she is just totally beyond doing what she has always done, - yet she is desperate to "do something" and its finding that magic key that unlocks that secret place.....

aliasojo

absolutebounder wrote: »

Coping mechanisms are sometimes best because if you cant escape the cause of the depression then you can reduce its effect.

Can I ask about this please?

What if what is largely causing a person's depression/low mood etc is also stopping a person from employing coping mechanisms for both practical and emotional reasons? Or if a person's choice of coping mechanism of dealing with their despair is actually harming them in other ways?

I'm wondering if there are indeed situations where there just are no suitable coping mechanisms and this is where anti depressants come in?

Kimberley

I wish this was the case for every single thread.

please do not be nasty or rude. by all means disagree but do it with respect and preferably if you disagree with someone say why and put forward your arguments in a nice adult manner.

absolutebounder

aliasojo wrote: »

Can I ask about this please?

What if what is largely causing a person's depression/low mood etc is also stopping a person from employing coping mechanisms for both practical and emotional reasons? Or if a person's choice of coping mechanism of dealing with their despair is actually harming them in other ways?

I'm wondering if there are indeed situations where there just are no suitable coping mechanisms and this is where anti depressants come in?

Peoples coping mechanisms are often harmful eg smoking but this is because of amisunderstanding of the unconcious which serves to protect you, however it sees the mechanism as a way of protection. No one doesnt know smoking is harmful but people carry on because it takes them away from something which to the brain is worse eg stress though this is of course a false belief as smoking actually increases stress.
What particular copimg mechanism are we talking about. Could you enlighten us a bit more?

absolutebounder

beachbeth wrote: »

Yes Im quite smug!:p

Lets get your tribunal out of the way first:D before I make you feel too good about yourself

beachbeth

absolutebounder wrote: »

Lets get your tribunal out of the way first:D before I make you feel too good about yourself

Its preying on my mind the whole time - Im just trying to push it to the back of my mind. Im terrified they won't reinstate my benefit.