The depressively optimistic moneysaving thread

absolutebounder

coralred wrote: »

I disagree with Lita Ford that all that post on the Fashion Threads are wanting their egos massaged and its banal, or a jeremy kyle sort of thread.

I would wonder why the need to post daily what one is wearing. bearing in mind that the person cannot be seen and so people have no idea whether the outfit is good or not. I think Lita is pretty near the mark as most people dont seek social acceptance to the extent of publishing their wardrobe daily. Why should anyone want to do that if it wasnt for attention?

I too post on that thread as well as others as i have an interest in that thread. Everyone has reasons for posting on a thread and what they post matters to them, they post for advice,

How can advice be given without seeing the person?

good or bad and some of us take a pride in what we wear and what we look like whether we're at home all day or on a day off or at work or play.

Nothing wrong in taking pride in yourself but why the need to advertise it. Also many of the postings are far from taking pride.

I dont reply to threads that dont interest me simply because they DONT interest me, but i would never go on one and slag everyone off. How immature. So come on girls and boys lets just stick to the threads we do enjoy and move on.

I dont want to slag off a thread though I might make a joke about it largely because when someone gets upset it tells you a lot about that person and when they get offensive it usually means you have succeeded in challenging a false ego.
I read some of the fashion threads mainly because you cant miss them just as if the telly is on I sometimes watch jeremy kyle.
But yes Lita is right about some of the fashion threads but she should not limit her views to just fashion.

absolutebounder

poorly_scammo wrote: »

Hello all,

I don't normally post on this thread but I've been suffering with depression ever since I was a child really; it just never came to the surface until about two years ago. I'm coming to the end of my therapy and can see light at the end of the tunnel. I start my Masters degree on Thursday and I'm becoming quite nervous now.

I had a bit of a funny turn today in town: too many people and too noisy but these episodes of moroseness and anxiety are becoming fewer.:o

In response to AB's question about certainty, I think yes, most people who are depressed prefer certainty and would venture the opinion that it's partly to do with safety. There is I'm ashamed to admit something safe about feeling low. Erm, a predictability which can act as a blanket. I think people who are depressive, for want of a better word are sensitive to everything and this means that 'stuff', life stuff hurts more. There is therefore a dulling, anaethetising (sp) effect in certainty. It knocks off the sharp edges.

Everything for me is rather raw at the moment. Colours are rather sharp on the eye, sounds are really piercing and emotions are really heartfelt. I cannot describe it any better than that. It's bit like putting glasses on for the first time. Everything comes into sharper focus which is rather overwhelming at times hence my little fit this afternoon.:o

uncertainty in a good way comes when things go better than expected. it can be a little thing I suppose: a smile instead of a scowl or waking up and it being sunny for once. I guess one has to cling on to these moments and appreciate them, easier said than done. Being shaken up in terms of routine takes one's mind off one's troubles and I think that applies to anyone, not just those suffering from depression.

I don't know if what I've written makes sense but there we are.

Good luck everyone.

Great post Scammo.
Right why is uncertainty better? If you have a problem and go for what you know (certainty) all that will happen is you will come up with a reworking of those things and nothing will move on because if you knew the solution you would have applied it. The solution lies in the unknown (uncertainty) and that is where you should take yourself to solve problems of the mind and where any therapy should go.
Think about this. The past is what you thought happened. ask many people for their account of an event and you get different answers.
The present is what you think is happening (same as the past) and the future is what you think will happen. this is where you get the most uncertainty amongst people.
However because of uncertainty there is more possibility of something unexpectedly good happening I call uncertainty possibility. had I worded the question as which do you prefer certainty or possibility? I might have got different answers.

Sssssss wrote: »

Hi every1 sorry been awhile since my last post, no real reason, just the usual ups and downs of life.

Must say reading some of the posts on the last page made me wonder if I still wanted to post on here. Come on guys this is one place where we don't need antagonism, please keep it cool.

Certainty for sure but only if I'm certain it's going to be good

Time and time again I've been uncertain about things only to find it's not a problem or that I had the capacity to deal with it, I try and remember these experiences whenever I have some uncetainty in my life.

Hi Sssss great to see you back. Dont worry about the odd squabble. Partof being normal is having the odd argument and I think its good sometime to let off steam as long as it is done fairly politely. I thought donkey acquited herself pretty well in the face of a bit of nastiness or jealousy from others.
Love your comment about certainty.

absolutebounder

Space_donkey wrote: »

AB I get what you mean now I think. Is this like thinking out of the box? When you go outside the boundaries into the unknown you are much more likelly to find solutions.
Not sure about your comments on past and present though. Isn't the past what happened to us true because it is our knowledge of events and not someone elses?

:T Spot on. Any thought contains boundaries (the box) If you have a box of answers that is fine and you can be fairly certain you will solve your problems with those answers. This works fine where depression is caused by say debt. Remove the debt and the depression should go. but what if you have deep rooted depression and there are no answers in your box? Do we just sit back and say "well thats it you will be like this for the rest of your life" Doctors often do because their box of answers is often very small but good therapists dont. We look for an answer outside the box because there are more answers there since what we dont know will allways be more than what we do know. Outside the box will allways have more possibility so if you genuinely dont like being depressed and genuinely want to get better you have to look beyond the boundaries of your current certainty.

poorly_scammo

absolutebounder wrote: »

Spot on. Any thought contains boundaries (the box) If you have a box of answers that is fine and you can be fairly certain you will solve your problems with those answers. This works fine where depression is caused by say debt. Remove the debt and the depression should go. but what if you have deep rooted depression and there are no answers in your box? Do we just sit back and say "well thats it you will be like this for the rest of your life" Doctors often do because their box of answers is often very small but good therapists dont. We look for an answer outside the box because there are more answers there since what we dont know will allways be more than what we do know. Outside the box will allways have more possibility so if you genuinely dont like being depressed and genuinely want to get better you have to look beyond the boundaries of your current certainty.

A good therapist should challenge their clients perceptions and for want of a more elegant phrase, get their clients to look at things differently. Mine has.

absolutebounder

poorly_scammo wrote: »

A good therapist should challenge their clients perceptions and for want of a more elegant phrase, get their clients to look at things differently. Mine has.

Quite true. it is the looking at things differently to what the client has been doing that gives the possibility of change. However how you do this is all important. As no doubt someone will back me up (I hope) some people dont like to be openly challenged and so I will go one step further than your statement and say that a good therapist gets the client to challenge their own perceptions.
I think you said in so many words that depression can act as a blanket and yes some people like the comfort of depression because it is safe for them in a strange sort of way. Some people almost get addicted to being depressed. This makes it very hard for the therapist especially if they are a NHS one and know the person sat beside them is there because he has been referred and is not there because they want to get better.
I tend to use a lot of distraction and covert stuff to seed new ideas into a client that help the person formulate new thinking on their own. That way the client thinks they are doing it all themselves and this is also good for self esteem

poorly_scammo

absolutebounder wrote: »

As no doubt someone will back me up (I hope) some people dont like to be openly challenged and so I will go one step further than your statement and say that a good therapist gets the client to challenge their own perceptions.

Yeah this is true.

absolutebounder

Following on from a thread on DT it is often said "every cloud has a silver lining" so what is the silver cloud in your depression? ie what does it allow you to do that otherwise you wouldnt be doing or what benefits are there in being depressed.

LadyMorticia

absolutebounder wrote: »

Following on from a thread on DT it is often said "every cloud has a silver lining" so what is the silver cloud in your depression? ie what does it allow you to do that otherwise you wouldnt be doing or what benefits are there in being depressed.

It allows me more time to create art as when my depression hits that's the only thing I want to do sometimes.

poorly_scammo

absolutebounder wrote: »

Following on from a thread on DT it is often said "every cloud has a silver lining" so what is the silver cloud in your depression? ie what does it allow you to do that otherwise you wouldnt be doing or what benefits are there in being depressed.

Bizarrely and embarrassingly, it allows me to relax and be still. Most of the time I tear around physically or have a hundred things swirling aroound my brain.

When I feel really low, I cannot do those things so I actually relax.

absolutebounder

Hi ya WVW great to have you back. Hows it going