The depressively optimistic moneysaving thread

Jo_R_2

WVW how are you today? x

GotToChange

Jo_R wrote: »

WVW how are you today? x

Oh, I'm glad you've asked. I want to know too, WVW - please say something; I am wondering how you are....

GotToChange

Whew - that's such a lot to deal with; no wonder your brain won't switch off. For now, just to say Thank GOODNESS you have posted to update me/us and hope that your friend can be of some support. I will post back in a while at more length as I really do have to drag my a**e away from this laptop and get to the gym (1-3 is the good value session which means hardly any peeps..)

x

absolutebounder

WVW just act normal like you are in control and not a threat to yourself or anyone lese if you dont want to go in.
Ive got a funeral to go to tomorrow. mate of mine killed in motorbike crash.
So look after yourself as we are all behind you.

absolutebounder

whitevanwoman wrote: »

AB, so sorry about your mate. I hope tomorrow is not too tough. Hard to know what to say in the circumstances but my thoughts are with you.

What's "normal"?

Yes he was at my wedding only a couple of months ago. 79 yr old car driver did a U turn in front of him and 4 mates. one other guy hit the car but he went over the bonnet and got away with a broken arm. How driver never saw five bikes with headlights on is not known.

What is normal. God knows really especially if you have a psychiatrist sat in front of you:rotfl:
On a serious not do what is best for you.

GotToChange

Ah - normal; lovely word that....

Why do so many of try to achieve, have people around be it, our life circumstances conform to it??? That alone could drive you nuts - because it's IMPOSSIBLE.

The thing is WVW - do you think that some time in a Unit will help you - or do more harm than good? Is this to make "the professionals'" lives easier? What would be done for you there that wouldn't at home?
These are all rhetorical questions - do NOT feel under any pressure to answer.

(I was once seen by a psychiatrist who defined me as "the most normal person I've met" - and he was probably quite right. The thing is, the only reason I was sitting in his office was because they would not release me without his sayso: I had spent the previous night on the geriatrics ward [to give me a lesson in gratitude I think; I was 25] having had 40 paracetomols and half a bottle of vodka washed out of my stomach. Silly silly me - and many years ago now.)

so - normal? Who can really say? I maintain my original thought - but stress that I know so very little - your life is overwhelming you and you need a helping hand. You say that your typical m.o. is to run away and make a new start - you know what, there's nothing wrong in that either - if that's what you want to do - but equally, I sense that you do want to live your life where you are and recover from your unhappiness, be it physical or emotional.

All I can do is send you warmest wishes and offer an ear if you want it.

To ab - so sorry to hear of your friend - good wishes to you for tomorrow.

x
x

Space_donkey

whitevanwoman wrote: »

thanks, wise words indeed and I am mulling over them right now.

big thanks to everyone for their support, it really has helped and I don't know what I would do without being able to just release some of the stuff inside me to you all.

Releasing things is part of the therapy and route to getting better. If you liked CBT you will find NLP great. I have bought NLP for dummies from a boot sale and am reading it.

absolutebounder

whitevanwoman wrote: »

thanks, wise words indeed and I am mulling over them right now.

big thanks to everyone for their support, it really has helped and I don't know what I would do without being able to just release some of the stuff inside me to you all.

Release it all if you want to but as you write it think about what other options you could have.

Jo_R_2

WVW how you doing? pervy group hug icon coming up ---> :grouphug:;)

I don't know if this will help you, but something I've done when very depressed as an effort to pull myself up, is in my little notebook, write down every time I "achieved" something that day. Achievement is very subjective: I started from a point of everything around me as a baseline, ie however messy the house/the kids/I (!) was, that was like a zero. Anything that took me above zero, I wrote down. So by teatime I might have something like

made breakfast for me and kids
got kids dressed
played with baby for a bit
made bun cakes with girls
had shower and got dressed whilst baby napped
got newspaper from shop (is only across road but big effort sometimes)
made sandwiches for lunch
vaccuumed downstairs
put on load of washing
made/making dinner for all

which in fairness was a real boost - nothing extraordinary at all but made me realise I wasn't as useless as I thought. I purposely ignored things I didn't get done or else I'd have:
didn't put laundry away
didn't spend much quality time with DDs
forgot to make OH's pack up
didn't get round to washing my hair
living room floor covered in toys/magazines/bits of food:eek:

I have to add (and this is still odd to me) that I do find that when DDs are here, I get more done than when they're not Last week they stayed with my parents and I found it really hard to get motivated - strange because I have more time but less get up and go. When you're alone in the day I think it is harder in many ways - I feel more purposeful with the girls here, and I know how hard I have found it when on my own.

When I am feeling utterly down I do know how much it helps just to get out - but it really is a wrench sometimes. I hope you can maybe even just get out to walk the dog today - here it is lovely outside

absolutebounder

whitevanwoman wrote: »

Thanks Jo, that is a good idea, and I am staggered that you manage to do so much, but I guess as a mum, you just have to. I will try that, and as a starter yesterday I did manage to:

put 2 loads of washing in and put them out on the line
did half of the week's worth of washing up that had piled up
hoovered the dogs bed (????? don't ask me why I did that, I just had an urge) and spent half an hour brushing him (he's exploding hair at the moment)
got myself dressed and managed to drive a couple of miles to the garage for some milk (shouldn't really be driving at the mo but have no choice)
put away all the piles of clean clothes which had been sitting in my bedroom for a week or so
cooked a frozen quiche and ate it ALL!!!! (felt a bit sick afterwards tho)
had a bath last night before bed

Phew! No wonder I'm tired today - that's more in one day that I had previously done in a week. Has barely scratched the surface of what needs doing but it is a start.

I know by sitting here on MSE I am cunningly procrastinating putting off getting dressed to go out to my support group so I'm going to stop here for now and haul my sorry a**e into gear... I will probably be very very tired later and tomorrow so may not post again for a while.

Thanks everyone, hope you all have a good day, and can take inspiration from Jo, the way she seems to be inspiring me.

I think sometyimes you dont realise how much you do when you arnt doing much:D