The depressively optimistic moneysaving thread

absolutebounder

Jo_R wrote: »

That's lovely Auntie beachbeth!:D

Sssssss your boss sounds like a right pr!ck!

WVW hope you're feeling better :grouphug:

I'm good. Little terror has started waking again in night and with him being about six months near enough I'm thinking he's needing food, so we're planning on giving him his first food this weekend when OH can do it. I love it, it's so exciting but makes me feel a bit sad - not such a little baby anymore - but loads more exciting things to look forward to.

Saw my psych last week, seeing him again in three months when he might sign me off. I have got to see a psychologist though as I keep pulling out my hair but the depression has eased off. Been doing lots of positive thinking and almost thinking about how I enjoyed things when I was younger by having stuff planned to look forward to, trips out to see friends and with the girls (meaning trips out with DDs and trips out with grown-up 'girl' friends!)

Lots of 'big' stuff being planned too, mainly working towards going back to uni to study midwifery, and (gasp!) getting married next year. Woo!

Lots going on to keep you occupied then. and great news that you might get signed off. It is good to recall past good memories. Depression tends to mean you recall bad ones but most people have good ones too and the more you allow yourself to realise you can have all those good memories and more again as you bring up DS the better life will be.

Lita_Ford

beachbeth wrote: »

She had a boy in the night. :j :beer: :T

Over 8lb in weight (glad my two weren't that big!!!:eek:). I know its not necessarily considered a big weight nowadays but it sounds big to me!!!

Glad they are ok and can't wait to see him!

fantastic!
I agrree about the weight I dont think I could stretch to that IYKWIM

Space_donkey

Jo_R wrote: »

Saw my psych last week, seeing him again in three months when he might sign me off. I have got to see a psychologist though as I keep pulling out my hair but the depression has eased off. Been doing lots of positive thinking and almost thinking about how I enjoyed things when I was younger by having stuff planned to look forward to, trips out to see friends and with the girls (meaning trips out with DDs and trips out with grown-up 'girl' friends!)

Lots of 'big' stuff being planned too, mainly working towards going back to uni to study midwifery, and (gasp!) getting married next year. Woo!

Good news that you are getting better Jo. I am loving being back at work. I feel like I have real value now. being a midwife must be a wonderful job Go for it.

Jo_R_2

Thanks guys. I am trying my very hardest to see the positives in every situation, or at the very least take a "well I can learn from this/it can only get better!" approach.

Today has been a difficult one, up and down! First we went into town and right after getting into the car park I lost the ticket. We'd only been in the car and got out and somehow it got lost! We ended up telling the customer service guy and he said they'd give us another ticket when we'd finished shopping. I walked round the whole time cursing myself as there are huge signs saying lost ticket is £14. Turns out as we told them as soon as we got there rather than when we'd done, they just charged us for the time we'd taken. I started telling myself off anyway, saying my memory was terrible, how ridiculous I am, then thought, well it's turned out well, I'll just make sure next time I put it straight in my wallet, job done :rolleyes:

We then went to Ikea as I've been on at OH since we moved house for a new chest of drawers. We got one which was just what we wanted but quite a bit pricicer than we would have liked, and upon getting to the till found out there was an offer on and it had £20 off!:j

Upon driving back we broke down on the M1:eek: OH managed to pull onto the hard shoulder but I really started cursing myself then because I hadn't taken out any breakdown cover:eek::eek::eek::eek: Now I must say that normally I do - but when I took out the insurance on this car (we only got it about a monthish ago) it had the option of breakdown but it was quite expensive, and so I thought, well I'll just look for a separate stand-alone policy. And of course I forgot:mad:

Cue being towed home, I won't say how much it cost but it was the equivalent of two chests of drawers at special offer price LOL (see I can see the humour in it now!) God I could kick myself, I've never NOT had breakdown insurance - and believe me I've thanked myself a lot because I seem to break down a lot! - so I've put it down to a blip in thinking and put it on my to-do list.

I've been quite philosophical about it all, must admit the recovery costs do grate but then I think, well, it's happened, we've got the money to deal with it, it's sorted, all we need to do now is sort the car which OH is hoping to do himself, there's no point kicking myself any more than I have!

Jo_R_2

I so know how you feel. It has to be said that quite often I have days when I don't leave the house all day, it does feel like a mammoth task and OH can't understand it - he works outdoors all day and is a real outdoorsy type so it's a mystery to him. Sometimes I can't face it and sometimes it's just easier to stay in.

I have to say that what has been a real motivator for me is something OH said. He commented that at times I wait for him to do stuff, to make decisions, make plans and he's right. I think that's an issue of confidence but it's silly really because when it's just me and the kids I *have* to make decisions etc and I just get on with it then. So I have really pushed myself, and believe me it's been hard - I think I've done it for so long that it's almost become a habit and it is scary doing things for myself. For example last weekend I drove a 160-mile round trip by myself to see my sister. Normally OH drives asI hate driving, but this was for her hen do so it was me only LOL!

I had a right episode when I was due to leave, I was petrified of doing it by myself, but my coping mechanism is to ask myself, what is the worst that will happen if I do this, and how will I feel afterwards if a) I don't do this, or b) I do it? The feeling afterwards of accomplishing something you didn't think you'd do, however little it seems, is great. OH had offered to drive up with me the night before (he'd come back from the pub and in his beer-addled state it seemed like a good idea at the time to him:rolleyes:) and I was desperately hoping he'd do it for me when he saw how I felt; but I was also hoping that no, he wouldn't offer then I would HAVE to do it. I knew I wouldn't really not do it as I wouldn't let my sister down, so I did it, got horrendously lost and was ridiculously late but I got there!:T

I know what you mean about not having anything to look forward to and wishing the day away. I had the first not long ago and so I have made the effort to plan things; eg sister's hen do I looked forward to for ages, I have arranged to meet friends for an evening out, or even just to have a shower and wash my hair (washing my hair is a two-hour job so it's not an everyday task!)

If it's a quiet day, I always have a 'task' to achieve that will brighten up my day. Little steps - at the moment it's managing to have a shower and spend quality play time with the kids.

I have also been working on long-term goals, such as going back to uni. I'm making sure I'm not rushing it, but taking steps, one at a time. I don't think there is any point pushing for something if you know you're not ready yet, but taking small steps towards it can be a huge confidence boost in looking to the future.

I'm also keeping a notebook to help organise my money;in it I jot down lists of all sorts, "To Do" lists, shopping lists and menu plans, bits of info I need to remember such as phone calls I've made, when, to who and what the outcome was, things like that. Despite my lousy memory (as demonstrated by losing my car parking ticket and not taking out the breakdown cover) I have achieved a lot through doing this and being in control so much more of my money that I used to be is both a real confidence boost and a weight off my mind.

Is there any little thing you used to do that you enjoyed but have let go - for me it was reading a good book or zine in my free time. Recently I have tried to make more of an effort and have read loads of my old zines and it has conjured up a lot of passion I had for reading and feeling part of a community. Do you have anything like that?

absolutebounder

WVW and jo if interested I will be on MSN tomorrow if you want a chat

beachbeth

Jo_R wrote: »

Is there any little thing you used to do that you enjoyed but have let go - for me it was reading a good book or zine in my free time. Recently I have tried to make more of an effort and have read loads of my old zines and it has conjured up a lot of passion I had for reading and feeling part of a community. Do you have anything like that?

I used to read a lot but find it hard to concentrate. I also have trouble listening to music. AB sent me an mp3 to help with this and I have listened to it. I must listen to it again when I get chance - thanks AB. Its hard because Ive always loved music. I need to stop drinking too. Sometimes I only have a couple of Malibu's with lemonade but that seems like just enough to make me feel down and lethargic the next day. Im going to try and get on top of it this week.

Sorry you are having a difficult time, WVW and Jo. I know what you mean about walking the dog, WVW. My dogs haven't had many walks lately. Its either raining, too hot or Im not feeling up to it.:o Don't feel guilty about it - Im sure your dog is just happy that he/she is with you. Dogs are very forgiving.

All the best everyone.

absolutebounder

beachbeth wrote: »

I used to read a lot but find it hard to concentrate. I also have trouble listening to music. AB sent me an mp3 to help with this and I have listened to it. I must listen to it again when I get chance - thanks AB. Its hard because Ive always loved music. I need to stop drinking too. Sometimes I only have a couple of Malibu's with lemonade but that seems like just enough to make me feel down and lethargic the next day. Im going to try and get on top of it this week.

Sorry you are having a difficult time, WVW and Jo. I know what you mean about walking the dog, WVW. My dogs haven't had many walks lately. Its either raining, too hot or Im not feeling up to it.:o Don't feel guilty about it - Im sure your dog is just happy that he/she is with you. Dogs are very forgiving.

All the best everyone.

I bet you have heard this before but drinking really is a no no. medically it is a depressant and will counteract any effect ADs have.
probably this will sound like a bit of CBT but you could try writing down how music used to make you feel and then write down how it makes you feel now and then challenging the new feelings in such a way that they become pointless. And of course keep up with MP3. It may take a couple of goes because I expect you were a bit anxious as to what was in it the first time so didnt relax as well as you could have.:A

Jo_R_2

I met a lot of my friends here through the local music scene, going to gigs and clubs etc. My participation has waned, mainly in part through having the kids - obviously harder to travel in the evenings to see bands in other cities/towns - but also I know I have stopped even listening to my music so much when, say, at home after the kids have gone to bed, or in the car even.

I don't know why - I've started doing that again and I feel great - partly I think it reminds me of being younger, carefree and enjoying a great social life, and I know to a certain degree I could quite easily have some of that again (not being carefree that is! But being able to go out with friends to enjoy myself when the kids are in bed, or at weekends when they're with their dad etc, OH very encouraging of me to go out as I don't much.)

But I think a big part of it as I mentioned is the community feel. I know even if I went along to a local gig by myself I'd be sure to see people I know, or if I wanted to see a band a bit further afield there'd always be someone else wanting to go along too, so I keep pushing myself to step back in a little, thus listening to some of my music again, and catching up with the zines (mama zines great way to get to know other mums, music zines great way to get to know people involved in music scene.)

How are you today WVW?

And Beth - I'm actually not having a bad time, I think now on the whole I'm actually feeling better than I have in a long while. I was thinking about it this morning, our little terror baby:D is still waking up twice a night, usually an hour a go and I'm very much knackered but crucially it isn't getting to me. I do all the weeknight duties with OH working and because I'm breastfeeding so it's just easier, but I feel so much more relaxed with this little one. He's actually a lovely laid-back baby apart from his wakings:eek: and OH is so good with him and incredibly supportive.

Jo_R_2

Just to add I actually stopped drinking pretty much altogether because I could notice just what effect it was having on my moods the next day - and it was not good.