The depressively optimistic moneysaving thread

ditzy

Whitevanwoman i couldnt agree more with everything you have said and my heart goes out to you :grouphug:

All the Crisis Responce Team seem to do is cover thier own @ses incase you commit suicide, i found they caused me more anxiety and problems than coping alone. It was a case of 'pretending' i was fine all the time and that i could cope, just to prevent intervention and hospitalisation. Iv yet to find any service provided by the NHS which truly helps and like you have said many forms of counselling only serve to open up the box. They dont then deal with what they have found or show you how to.

Iv done far far better with my own coping strategies and by taking each day as it comes. I was at the 'hour by hour' stage earlier this year and its a very lonely scary place to be, but take heart hun, it does and will get better. Big hugs from me and keep going sweetie your not alone in your suffering xx

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Thanks, AB, I'll get him to look at the Dummies books before making a decision.

ditzy

whitevanwoman wrote: »

I've just posted this on the other thread (DS thread) but it applies equally here so this is for you all too:

"There seems to be a few of us really struggling at the moment & I just wanted to say how much support and strength I've had from this thread and from other threads, even when not posting, but just being motivated by other people.

It's so hard to see how life could ever be any different or better than it is right now and it is hard to climb upwards, especially if you have done it before and feel that all the effort has been wasted as you are right down at the bottom of the pile out there.

But my faith in human nature has been restored by people on this thread and on the DO thread who are able, even despite their own problems, to be there for others.

Thanks everyone. Even when I'm feeling really alone I know that there is someone out there who will understand, where alot of the "professionals" can't.

As ever, all we can do is hang on in there and try to find some hope that one day things will be different."

awww thats a lovely thing to say

its true though, what you say, each time you climb up and get well, you get this feeling inside that you have recovered, and think 'ok it was a dam hard struggle but i made it'. Then out of nowhere it rears its ugly head again and your back down in the dark lonely pit wondering how you can find the strength to pull yourself back up to the surface. Noone seems to see the invisible illness your suffering, and you feel like your looking out at the rest of the world from behind glass. Everyone getting on with thier lives, while your trapped there alone.

One thing i have learned though, is that there are people who understand and who suffer the same as we do, and like you have said its their inspiration, care, and kindness that give you the strength to fight on, and never let it over take you

dont ever look back!, only forward!, and KNOW that the sun will shine again. Laughter will fill your soul, you WILL feel well.

Believe it every day! and dont let the bastid get ya down lol :T:T

absolutebounder

whitevanwoman wrote: »

I've just posted this on the other thread (DS thread) but it applies equally here so this is for you all too:

"There seems to be a few of us really struggling at the moment & I just wanted to say how much support and strength I've had from this thread and from other threads, even when not posting, but just being motivated by other people.

It's so hard to see how life could ever be any different or better than it is right now and it is hard to climb upwards, especially if you have done it before and feel that all the effort has been wasted as you are right down at the bottom of the pile out there.

But my faith in human nature has been restored by people on this thread and on the DO thread who are able, even despite their own problems, to be there for others.

Thanks everyone. Even when I'm feeling really alone I know that there is someone out there who will understand, where alot of the "professionals" can't.

As ever, all we can do is hang on in there and try to find some hope that one day things will be different."

Some day things will be different. Hopefully that is sooner rather than later. Help is what we are here for but by inspiration rather than just virtual hugs.
If you liked CBT try NLP I can probably send you some stuff or at least get you to some sites. Its a bit like CBT but works on the unconcious mind. i realise that professionals dont always understand which is why I ask these questions. On the subject of counselling I see plenty of instances where the patient does not get comfort and does not trust the counsellor. then has to put up with prying questions about something you will never change ie your past.. You may learn from your past but you wont change it and to be honest I havent met to many people who didnt know what was wrong with their past. they just dont know how to fix their present and future.
I am trying to put together more helpful stuff for use over the phone because it is not practicalk to drive all over the UK

absolutebounder

whitevanwoman wrote: »

Thanks AB, some good NLP websites would be good to start with.

If you google free NLP you will come across some interesting giveaways

I think the biggest problem with basic counselling (and with the pyschotherapy that I had, and for me at the moment with the crisis team and CPN visits) is that all the focus is on the past. I think severe depression is like a form of grief, mourning a loss, and to focus on the past and therefore the loss, and the reasons, doesn't help the sufferer move on. Also the feelings of helplessness, being trapped, or having no control, need to be addressed by giving the sufferer some control by showing them that there are options and routes out.

I can never understand this focus on the past unless one is going to do hypnotic regression which is not what they do in counselling.

Simply sitting down with someone to draw up an action plan for the day or for the week, and identifying what are going to be the difficult to achieve things and finding a way to achieve them or arranging practical support in order to achieve them, together with providing positive feedback when they have been achieved, is probably going to be far more effective than dwelling on the problems without actually addressing them. As yet, I have never had any form of support which has done this with me and yet it seems to be basic common sense and actually quite a low cost solution.

I like to get the client to actually work out their own plan as if it is theirs or they think it is theirs they find it easier to work with

Perhaps you could come up with an NLP solution to teach the "professionals" how to work in the most proactive useful way with sufferers;)

This is another great site http://www.nlpls.com/articles/metamodel/MetaModelFlashcards.php
because it lets you work through challenges to other peoples thoughts or statements and then all you have to do is appy it to yourself.
An example. " I will be more confident when I lose weight" A reasonable statement you might think but is it? you are making a link between weight and confidence that is irrational and effectively saying all slim people are confident Hopefully you can guess the rest but there are loads of challenges to the statement and really you only need one good one. Once you learn to find the false assumptions or presuppositions in your own thoughts you can find alternatives and realise for yourself that you can make progress.

absolutebounder

absolutebounder wrote: »

This is another great site http://www.nlpls.com/articles/metamodel/MetaModelFlashcards.php
because it lets you work through challenges to other peoples thoughts or statements and then all you have to do is appy it to yourself.
An example. " I will be more confident when I lose weight" A reasonable statement you might think but is it? you are making a link between weight and confidence that is irrational and effectively saying all slim people are confident Hopefully you can guess the rest but there are loads of challenges to the statement and really you only need one good one. Once you learn to find the false assumptions or presuppositions in your own thoughts you can find alternatives and realise for yourself that you can make progress.

Something I missed in above was to challenge danger. Our bodies dont like the fight or flight state and try to avoid it or return to comfort and safety as soon as possible. In anything you are thinking of doing your mind will weigh up the dangers behind your back so to speak and so you have to either challenge these dangers or work with them. For example you want to giveup smoking but sometyhing has stressed you. There is now a danger that if you give up the stress will continue and so you light up the fag. Alternatively if you dont give up there is also a danger the next fag will be the final straw that cause s cancer or a heart attack.
In WVWs case I would think you have to challenge the danger of getting back to work. These dangers may be real or unreal which is why they should be challenged mentaly.

Space_donkey

whitevanwoman wrote: »

I've just posted this on the other thread (DS thread) but it applies equally here so this is for you all too:

"There seems to be a few of us really struggling at the moment & I just wanted to say how much support and strength I've had from this thread and from other threads, even when not posting, but just being motivated by other people.

It's so hard to see how life could ever be any different or better than it is right now and it is hard to climb upwards, especially if you have done it before and feel that all the effort has been wasted as you are right down at the bottom of the pile out there.

But my faith in human nature has been restored by people on this thread and on the DO thread who are able, even despite their own problems, to be there for others.

Thanks everyone. Even when I'm feeling really alone I know that there is someone out there who will understand, where alot of the "professionals" can't.

As ever, all we can do is hang on in there and try to find some hope that one day things will be different."

Keep in there WVW. Just like the weather things can change very quickly. You have been there before so you know you can do it now. Some one once said to me if you think of the last time you really laughed your socks off, first thing in the morning the rest of the day will be good. You know what? it really helps.

absolutebounder

Hi all. keep up the good work i am off for a few weeks due to a tour over europe.
Look after each other while Ive gone

Space_donkey

Hey where did you all go? My computer blew up. That's my excuse but where is everyone else?

beachbeth

Im still floating around. Things have been quiet with me lately so I haven't been posting much. Hope everyone is doing ok.