The depressively optimistic moneysaving thread

Miroslav

alison99 wrote: »

I tend to judge myself way more than anyone else does, I think I do it so nobody else can hate me more than I hate myself, crazy logic I know, but it does stop me isolating myself from everyone around me. How do I deal with that?

I do the same. No-one can be harder on myself than me.

Miroslav

beachbeth wrote: »

Can you imagine people's reaction if I didn't have depression and still didn't go out to work?

I don't work due to depression and anxiety and people think i'm okay. They don't know why I can't work as I appear 'normal' in their words.

Sadly, people who don't work are all classed as spongers.

I don't mind if they want me to work with them in a small environment, as long as they realise, if I feel pressured, I will react badly and they will then wish I was off work :rolleyes:

I have a medical due. God help the working folk if I have to get a job, they'll be begging me to get signed off again!

Miroslav

absolutebounder wrote: »

oi I have two tattoos and a motorbike:rotfl:
i can understand the job thing as retail relies on image (often fake) so much.

It also depends on what your tattoos are, and how big they are, as to how you are judged.

A small rose gets a different reaction to a big dragon.

absolutebounder

Miroslav wrote: »

It also depends on what your tattoos are, and how big they are, as to how you are judged.

A small rose gets a different reaction to a big dragon.

I have two cats (panthers) but they are not on show unless I am only wearing a vest.. People will judge you with tatoos because you are in effect asking to be judged and looked at. just the same as a woman who wears large ear rings say. Historicaly the way we decorated our bodies said a lot about us. men used war paint to make themselves more scary nowdays some tattoos are equivalent to war paint. lipstick was first used by egyptian prostitutes to show what their speciality was. an ankle bracelet was a sign of a prostitute. Most of these symbols are now not so important and have had their use corrupted but it doesnt mean that you are not asking to be looked at and judged by some people.
Im afraid that if you want to meet warm friendly considerate people you will find it much easier if you look the part.

Space_donkey

alison99 wrote: »

I tend to judge myself way more than anyone else does, I think I do it so nobody else can hate me more than I hate myself, crazy logic I know, but it does stop me isolating myself from everyone around me. How do I deal with that?

I used to be the same but slowly I have found that the less I criticise myself the more people seem receptive towards me.

Horasio

I find women in their 50s to be very judgmental. I am not much younger than they are but they seem to treat anyone under their age like naughty kids. They are easily spotted as they have a dyed blonde bob or short dark hair and wear boxy jackets with skirts. They look at younger people with distain and don't smile. People who are older 70s plus and greyer, tend to be easy going

It really annoys me, so I tend to be very sarcastic with them and have a smirk on my face. I can see it makes them angry and then I laugh at them. If they treated me like an equal, I would be nicer to them.

I don't generally do this to people unless I feel peed off with them.

My mother, picks on me if I speak badly on occasion or if I am loud, yet she is loud, yet lets my son be an idiot. I know she is under stress just now, so let it go, but it used to get to me when I was younger. We would end up in arguments as if I want to talk badly, it is my right to be able to. I like experimenting with accents and feel squashed by her when she does this.

I get annoyed at men being patronising to women and being normal to males. I tend to be honest about how they conduct themselves - they don't like their weaknesses being exposed and it can lead to arguments.

Miroslav

absolutebounder wrote: »

I have two cats (panthers) but they are not on show unless I am only wearing a vest.. People will judge you with tatoos because you are in effect asking to be judged and looked at. just the same as a woman who wears large ear rings say. Historicaly the way we decorated our bodies said a lot about us. men used war paint to make themselves more scary nowdays some tattoos are equivalent to war paint. lipstick was first used by egyptian prostitutes to show what their speciality was. an ankle bracelet was a sign of a prostitute. Most of these symbols are now not so important and have had their use corrupted but it doesnt mean that you are not asking to be looked at and judged by some people.
Im afraid that if you want to meet warm friendly considerate people you will find it much easier if you look the part.

Tattoos are often for show and those wanting attention. Not always the case, but tattoos are often not for oneself, but for the view of others. Whether the opinions of those viewing are right or not, we have the right to reject it.

When people go out, it is often to dress for the approval of others, rather than for ourselves, although I feel I do it for myself, to make me feel better. If you make yourself feel better, hopefully others will notice you feel okay about yourself.

absolutebounder

CCStar wrote: »

I find women in their 50s to be very judgmental. I am not much younger than they are but they seem to treat anyone under their age like naughty kids. They are easily spotted as they have a dyed blonde bob or short dark hair and wear boxy jackets with skirts. They look at younger people with distain and don't smile. People who are older 70s plus and greyer, tend to be easy going

It really annoys me, so I tend to be very sarcastic with them and have a smirk on my face. I can see it makes them angry and then I laugh at them. If they treated me like an equal, I would be nicer to them.

I don't generally do this to people unless I feel peed off with them.

My mother, picks on me if I speak badly on occasion or if I am loud, yet she is loud, yet lets my son be an idiot. I know she is under stress just now, so let it go, but it used to get to me when I was younger. We would end up in arguments as if I want to talk badly, it is my right to be able to. I like experimenting with accents and feel squashed by her when she does this.

I get annoyed at men being patronising to women and being normal to males. I tend to be honest about how they conduct themselves - they don't like their weaknesses being exposed and it can lead to arguments.

Honesty often hurts but Im like you I say what Im thinking and dont often apologise for my views. I can be very sarcastic but Im also aware that sarcasm is often a defence mechanism.
Im not sure I agree with you about women in their 50s. I guess I believe women of all ages can be patronising. i find there is a horrible breed of woman in london that drives chardoney and jocasta to school two blocks away in the BMW 4X$ and then cant park it so abandons it in the road and gets extremely rude if one says anything.
I like taking the mickey out of women but only coz they bite and Im only joking anyway.
parents of course come under different rules as even if you are a pensioner you are still their little girl.

Horasio

absolutebounder wrote: »

Honesty often hurts but Im like you I say what Im thinking and dont often apologise for my views. I can be very sarcastic but Im also aware that sarcasm is often a defence mechanism.
Im not sure I agree with you about women in their 50s. I guess I believe women of all ages can be patronising. i find there is a horrible breed of woman in london that drives chardoney and jocasta to school two blocks away in the BMW 4X$ and then cant park it so abandons it in the road and gets extremely rude if one says anything.
I like taking the mickey out of women but only coz they bite and Im only joking anyway.
parents of course come under different rules as even if you are a pensioner you are still their little girl.

I have heard of them but haven't come across them but see a few 4 x 4s drivers drop their kids off at the school next to me.

The 50 something women are OK to men.

absolutebounder

Space_donkey wrote: »

I used to be the same but slowly I have found that the less I criticise myself the more people seem receptive towards me.

Happy birthday sazbo.

No one should really criticise yourself. If you find yourself doing this its because you feel you are are not living up to your expectations of what other people expect you to be.
Unfortunately you were not born with the resources to be what someone else wants you to be. You can pretend but you cant be the real deal. You only have the resources to be yourself and you have to accept that. Once you accept yourself you will find what an inticate and wonderful person you are and once you be that person others will be drawn to you and you will find a few genuine friends.
it is very difficult to love or even like some one that doesnt like themselves.