Sibling issues

melancholly

i bet your brother is right now thinking along the same lines - he has a new baby and that is taking over his life... somehow his sister seems a bit too preoccupied with how she should feel in this situation and quite frankly, he doesn't have the energy to deal with it......

obviously there will be more background to this situation but i think your expectations are a little unreasonable and if you want to exaccerbate a family rift then go right ahead - just remember that things you say or do now may take years to get over and you have to decide if your pride really is that important.... however bad their behaviour may or may not have been, having a go about it on the phone only a few weeks after the birth of their baby seems to be the least sensible way to deal with it..... even if you are justified, i don't know what you want from your brother apart from a grovelling apology for him focussing on his baby........?

Claire3121

melancholly wrote: »

i bet your brother is right now thinking along the same lines - he has a new baby and that is taking over his life... somehow his sister seems a bit too preoccupied with how she should feel in this situation and quite frankly, he doesn't have the energy to deal with it......

obviously there will be more background to this situation but i think your expectations are a little unreasonable and if you want to exaccerbate a family rift then go right ahead - just remember that things you say or do now may take years to get over and you have to decide if your pride really is that important.... however bad their behaviour may or may not have been, having a go about it on the phone only a few weeks after the birth of their baby seems to be the least sensible way to deal with it..... even if you are justified, i don't know what you want from your brother apart from a grovelling apology for him focussing on his baby........?

If you read my previous posts,you will see that this has been going on for around 6 years and it came to a head a month ago.

melancholly

Claire3121 wrote: »

If you read my previous posts,you will see that this has been going on for around 6 years and it came to a head a month ago.

which makes your choice of timing to let him know how you feel a choice many people would not have made..............

Nicki

The thing is Claire, we have all read the whole thread, which is written from your perspective, not your brother's and some of us still think that your expectations are too high.

If you are sure you are right, and aren't prepared to back down, then fair enough, but I don't think you can then claim to be surprised that the relationship is on the rocks and you are no longer in line to be godmother.

You are portraying yourself as a victim in all of this, but your brother clearly has much more on his mind than coming running to apologise to you, and he may, like you, feel that the fault is all on one side (just not his) or more generously that there is fault on both sides but he doesn't have the energy to make the first move.

Tbh you stand lose more than he does from a family fued, and I very much doubt that he's on a forum somewhere worrying about this situation or asking for advice about what to do. Though he may be down the pub letting off steam about the texts he's been getting off his sister...

Claire3121

Nicki wrote: »

The thing is Claire, we have all read the whole thread, which is written from your perspective, not your brother's and some of us still think that your expectations are too high.

If you are sure you are right, and aren't prepared to back down, then fair enough, but I don't think you can then claim to be surprised that the relationship is on the rocks and you are no longer in line to be godmother.

You are portraying yourself as a victim in all of this, but your brother clearly has much more on his mind than coming running to apologise to you, and he may, like you, feel that the fault is all on one side (just not his) or more generously that there is fault on both sides but he doesn't have the energy to make the first move.

Tbh you stand lose more than he does from a family fued, and I very much doubt that he's on a forum somewhere worrying about this situation or asking for advice about what to do. Though he may be down the pub letting off steam about the texts he's been getting off his sister...

We would equally lose out in this(he has a nephew which he would miss out on seeing grow up). As for him ranting down the pub re my texts?? I'm not too sure
what you mean by that...do you mean the many unreplied texts asking how he and his wife and baby are? Or the one saying how he upset mum(which I later appologised for,and was again unreplied)? Other than that,the ball was in his court and it was the final straw not being invited to the christening. I'm not going to grovel as I feel i've done everything I can on my part