Council Tax/Life Mess... Fraud?

Weeone_3

I cant face it sorry. Nor can I face the thought that they might prosecute my mum.. I went to the doctor the other day, gave me antidepresants and sleeping pills... I have a future, but a future of continuing fear.. i've lived like that for too long..you see I'm not really needed anymore..I know there are people who love me but i have no purpsose..and that's not me feeling sorry for myself, it's fact... i got myself in a mess that I cant get out of without more pain and more uncertainty and I don't have the mental strenght for it anymore

MrsTinks

You're posting on here so you DO have the mental strength to carry on - you just need a little teeny bit of help getting over taking that first step. It's not a future of continuing fear - If the credit card debts are too much then bankruptcy might be the way forward - the council tax can be fixed one way or another.
OK so maybe your mum doesn't "need" you as much as she did but so what? you're only 41 - imagine all the fun you could still have if you get over this? Backpacking in Australia? Hiking in Thailand? Working with kids in Africa? Helping rebuild villages in S. America? You might not have the same "purpose" right now that you had when your mum was living in the flat but there are still plenty of "use" for you out there Imagine if you can get over this... you could volunteer to help people in the same situation or even worse. People who have plenty to live for but can't see it... isn't using your experiences to help someone else worthwhile use of your life?

BlueIsTheColour

As someone who has felt as low as you certainly sound, all due to debt, I can say with some conviction that debt isn't worth that. Your family and your Mum need you, and that's all that matters. The debt can be sorted, however long that takes, it doesn't matter in the scheme of things.

Am fairly sure that your CTax situation can be sorted, even if it means a debt initially, there certainly is no guarantee there would be any conviction, so please don't take that as read, some things are only worth worrying about IF they actually happen.

For now, please contact the Samaritans and talk it through with them, they won't judge but just talking may help, again, I speak from experience. Many years ago, I got myself in a very very bad situation and in despair I called them and spent a long time on the phone sobbing mainly but they certainly helped me see that even though it was a big problem I had, it wasn't insurmountable.

08457 90 90 90

You can do this, your strength so far has been amazing, you have more inside am sure, it may just be hiding right now

Weeone_3

I have no strength.I just put on a good face. Talked to Samaritans agin..they are good people,but fundementally I can see no future in this other than the ongoing pain and shame ...it's all been futile. the way i've lived..I'm so ashamed..I wsh I could'v

MrsTinks

Ofcourse you have strength... otherwise you wouldn't be coming here for help in the first place
Speak to your GP again first thing, call the samaritans at any point during the night if you feel you need to and remember that tomorrow is a new day. I don't know if you are at all religious but you may find seeking some spiritual guidance from your local minister will be very comforting for you? (I'm not religious btw but I don't underestimate the mental and moral support they can give those who believe )
There is no ongoing pain and shame - why would there be? It's money! So what! If you'd come on here and said you'd harmed someone then it would be a different matter, but you haven't - you made some silly choices and now we need to get things back on track. It really really is only money...
Sleep on it and things should hopefully be a little brighter tomorrow.

BlueIsTheColour

There is no shame in debt, it affects so many people these days, the stigma that it once had has gone, please don't feel that about it, trust me it really isn't worth it.

It's not been futile, you have supported your Mum and done your best by her, believe me there are worst things going off in this world day in day out, as has been said look at those boys in Sheffield, good people dying young, debt is nothing compared to that....

You can talk to the council, be honest, worst case they will present a bill to you, which you can then negotiate a replayment plan with them, or use CCCS if you have other debts too. Have faith, there is a way out of this, its just the path is a bit bendy right now, the more small steps you take, the straighter the path will become.

Take care

Weeone_3

Thank you, I just cannot see it just now

BlueIsTheColour

Totally understand that but just have faith that it will be there and you will start to see it. As I said I have felt similar to the way you are now, and yet now I can look back on that time and see how far I have come now and how much better my life has come, and that despite the fact that my OH has been laid off today and as he works in construction the chances of a new job are slim and that puts even more pressure on us, despite all that, I can still raise a smile, sod them nasty creditors, they can't have what we haven't got, end of, and am happy to fight them all the way now, but there have been times when I too haven't felt that way and have wanted to give in, am glad now I didn't!

Sleep well, tomorrow is a new day!

10past6

I have to reply here prior to retiring for the night.

Weeone, you’ve received some great advice on here, however, no one can make you do or say anything, we can only offer advice and moral support.

We all have weaknesses in our lives, life is made up of challenges be it getting out of bed, or having to face the outside world, these are challenges that need to be faced.

At present you have various challenges, look at those as a positive aspect, challenge yourself to tackle each one individually, once you complete the first challenge you’ll be surprised how much of a confidence booster beating the challenge is.

I suggest you purchase a wall chart, write down each challenge then start tackling the challenge, keeping a written log on the wall chart of the progress you’re making.

Start challenging yourself; it’s easy to say “I can’t cope” and give in, it’s much harder facing up to, dealing with and then beating the challenge.

It won’t happen overnight, allocate a time-sale, for example enter a date on the wall chart, say 6 months, then look back to this date and see how much progress you’ve made.

No matter how difficult the issue you experience is, the answer is somewhere on this site.

There are special dates throughout the year, Christmas Day, New Years day, etc., etc., today is Good Friday, what a great date to nominate as the day you changed your life.

Finally Weeone, you’ve everything to gain by challenging yourself, failure only happens if one allows it.

Good luck to you.

Fire_Fox

Weeone wrote: »

I cant face it sorry. Nor can I face the thought that they might prosecute my mum.. I went to the doctor the other day, gave me antidepresants and sleeping pills... I have a future, but a future of continuing fear.. i've lived like that for too long..you see I'm not really needed anymore..I know there are people who love me but i have no purpsose..and that's not me feeling sorry for myself, it's fact... i got myself in a mess that I cant get out of without more pain and more uncertainty and I don't have the mental strenght for it anymore

Please trust those of us who have gone through tough times and suffered with depression and/ or stress as a result. The way you post is the depression talking. Depression takes the negative things in life and makes you think round and round in circles - with every loop it seems more hopeless, more impossible to handle. I have thought the same way myself a few years ago, so bad I could not even cope with answering the telephone! I listened to my own mother cry down the phone to me and speak the very same way last summer; it destroyed me because I know how alone and beaten she felt inside.

There is no benefit to thinking back to the past and magnifying your mistakes, but depression does it all the same. You CAN get through this with our help, and medication can give you just enough strength to allow you to have a more realistic view, to take the steps you need to take to find out that, actually, the situation is not as bad as you think. Anti-depressants take up to two weeks to have their full effect, often people need to change doses or tablets to find the right one.

You can have whatever future you choose to have. It will be hard work, wobbly baby steps at first then up and running when you are fit and well. Perhaps you have forgotten what it is like to be happy, to feel loved and wanted (even tho you most surely are now), to be content, to realise you have made a difference to someone's day. You deserve to feel all this again, mistakes are a tool to learn from not to beat yourself up with.

Keep seeing your doctor, keep speaking to the Samaritans, keep posting on this board, try to eat something healthy (beans on granary toast, fruity cereal and milk), try to get out for a daily walk in the fresh air, try to get to bed at regular times. All these things, I promise, will contribute to the body and the mind getting stronger.

:A