We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum... Read More »
We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. See the Community Noticeboard for more info. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
CSA Payments and Proof of a Cheating Girlfriend...
Options
Comments
-
it just doesn't make sense and should be outlawed!
In many EU states it already has. Britain (and Germany) has been slow to adapt its legislation to make it compatible with the EU. The burden of proof rests with the accuser in all criminal and civil proceedings.
I speak as a fellow NRP once shafted by the CSA. I've Been there done that. Its nasty. As far as the CSA goes, its non negotiable you canot reason with it and it will run you into the ground if you fight it.
If the baby is yours then you will have to pay unless you choose to move to more hospitable shores, I can show you how if want to learn more. Some on this forum might say its unethical to work abroad but its 100% legal. You have the freedom to work anywhere in the EU.
You can consider paying the CSA and waiting 10-15 years before taking a paternity DNA test, if the test is negative then you get all your money back with 8% statutory interest from the date you made each payment plus a refund of the cost of the DNA test.
Currently if you were to invest the money in an ISA you would be lucky to get 3%. You get the CSA off your back and you could be quids in, its a lovely windfall. You could turn this into something positive.0 -
i just don't see the need to refuse a DNA test here. You admit you were sleeping with her at the given time. Therefore you know there is a very good chance that you are the father. Please please please, do not punish this child for the sins of the mother, that is what you are doing by refusing parentage/dna testing.
i am refusing to do the dna test SOLELY because i fail to see why i should be the one responsble for proving whether i am the father or not! that's it!
she was the one who cheated, therefore it should be her responsibility to prove the kid is mine, not the other way round. god knows how she could be expected to do it, but that's not my problem. she got us into this mess, so she should be the one SOLELY responsible for sorting it all out, and that means PROVING WHO THE FATHER IS! it shouldn't be upto me!
that is my only gripe. it seems that ANYONE named as a father is guilty until proven innocent... and that is WRONG!0 -
But you are the one with your DNA to compare/test......She can't do it for you......or am I missing something. At least if you take the test and baby isn't yours you need have nothing to do with her ever again.True MSE'r -Money Spending Expert
0 -
that is a complete and utter joke!
just because she 'names' me as the father, i get shafted all the way to hell and back!
surely those rules are flawed beyond belief and open to so much abuse!???
let's say, for example, that a girl sleeps with 5 different guys, on five consecutive nights. she then has a baby 9 months later...
she picks one of those five guys' names at random, and insists he is the father. the csa then demand payment from him, and he MUST pay just because he refuses to do a dna test - which is his RIGHT!???
my god, the csa is a bigger joke than i first thought...
another example, let's say a girl has a grudge against a man. let's say that man is married. let's also say that the girl in question has never even broke breath to the man before, nevermind had sex with him.
she names him as the father to the csa, and he refuses to do a dna test, because why the hell should he - he has never slept with this person! his wife then leaves him as a result because she thinks he has borne a kid with this woman.
i mean, !!!!!!!?!?!?
literally, a woman can just pick a guys name at random - any old name, and say he is the father, and the CSA will hunt him down and demand money for him - even if the two people involved have never even met!?!?!? and it's upto the man to prove he isn't by doing a dna test!?!?!?!?
what a complete disaster zone the csa is...
Granted it's not ideal but there is no need for any man to be shafted. Take the test, comes back negative (which means no charge) and job's a good 'un. No liability.
I don't understand why anyone wouldn't do a test to clear their name to be honest.0 -
-
i am refusing to do the dna test SOLELY because i fail to see why i should be the one responsble for proving whether i am the father or not! that's it!
she was the one who cheated, therefore it should be her responsibility to prove the kid is mine, not the other way round. god knows how she could be expected to do it, but that's not my problem. she got us into this mess, so she should be the one SOLELY responsible for sorting it all out, and that means PROVING WHO THE FATHER IS! it shouldn't be upto me!
that is my only gripe. it seems that ANYONE named as a father is guilty until proven innocent... and that is WRONG!
Are you sure she will name you as the Father? She may name the other guy so therefore the onus will be on him.
How can she prove that you are/aren't the father if she doesn't have your DNA? How can she SOLELY do it when you need 2 sets of DNA to prove paternity?
Lets just say she done DNA test on other bloke and it came back negative. Now, she's cheated once - could you be sure she hadn't done it before? You'll only know if he is yours or not is YOU provide DNA.0 -
Light_Speed_Cruiser wrote: »In many EU states it already has. Britain (and Germany) has been slow to adapt its legislation to make it compatible with the EU. The burden of proof rests with the accuser in all criminal and civil proceedings.
I speak as a fellow NRP once shafted by the CSA. I've Been there done that. Its nasty. As far as the CSA goes, its non negotiable you canot reason with it and it will run you into the ground if you fight it.
If the baby is yours then you will have to pay unless you choose to move to more hospitable shores, I can show you how if want to learn more. Some on this forum might say its unethical to work abroad but its 100% legal. You have the freedom to work anywhere in the EU.
You can consider paying the CSA and waiting 10-15 years before taking a paternity DNA test, if the test is negative then you get all your money back with 8% statutory interest from the date you made each payment plus a refund of the cost of the DNA test.
Currently if you were to invest the money in an ISA you would be lucky to get 3%. You get the CSA off your back and you could be quids in, its a lovely windfall. You could turn this into something positive.
:rotfl: HAHAHAHA! that is quality!!
unfortunately, i'm pretty sure the kid is mine, otherwise that offer would be simply too good to refuse!
on second thoughts, surely, i should be able to persuade a girl to name me as the father of her child, that i know for certain, 110%, that he/she isn't mine, then i can lie back, pay the csa for the next 10-15 years, and watch the $$$ roll in whenever i decide to cash in my chips by taking the dna test! maybe this csa law isn't so bad afterall!!! :beer:
regarding your first point, i have a job that allows me to work in literally any country in the world (fwiw, i'm an air-traffic controller) but, that would mean having to move away from my son, and that is just not gonna happen...
i really appreciate your input here, Light Speed Cruiser. i fully expect to have to pay, but it will be entertaining fighting that cheating *****. cheers!0 -
jungliemac wrote: »But you are the one with your DNA to compare/test......She can't do it for you......or am I missing something.
exactly! like i said above, i have absolutely no idea how she could be expected to prove that the kid is mine, but she was the one who cheated, therefore it SHOULD be upto HER to prove this kid is mine - NOT ME!
and how she would go about doing that, i have no idea, but it shouldn't be upto me... i have done nothing wrong - why the hell should i be punished and have to provide all the proof!???0 -
Out of curiosity, how are you going to fight her? Seriously, you don't do the test then they will name you anyway....she knows where you work....
Just do the test and then if it's not yours then you can walk away...if it is yours then you can pay and when you decide to walk back into the baby's life (lucky him) then you will be able to. That is unless your ex stops contacts and goes to the courts with the premise that you didn't bother with the baby emotionally for X amount of months/years.
And I also seriously think you need some kind of counselling to get all this sorted out in your head before it eats you up and destroys you0 -
exactly! like i said above, i have absolutely no idea how she could be expected to prove that the kid is mine, but she was the one who cheated, therefore it SHOULD be upto HER to prove this kid is mine - NOT ME!
and how she would go about doing that, i have no idea, but it shouldn't be upto me... i have done nothing wrong - why the hell should i be punished and have to provide all the proof!???
How long ago did this all happen? Have you just found out?0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 350.9K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 453.5K Spending & Discounts
- 243.9K Work, Benefits & Business
- 598.8K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 176.9K Life & Family
- 257.2K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards