Support for people with Depression

newlywed

Hi Zith,

Know how you feel about debt. I'm on a DMP and although that means interest has stopped on most of my debts and I'm paying it back... I'm still struggling to budget and get really down that everything has to come down to money. My car is sick and I have no credit cards and trying to work out how to pay for it as without the car I can't get to work (bus takes more than twice as long and costs more and I end up so much more tired that I can't face that for long). I should have a car repair fund and an emergency fund as that's all in the DMP budget, but I've been so down and seriously screwed up my budgets so there's nothing. I'm going to be ringing my DMP this month (again) to ask to make a reduced payment so I can get my car fixed.

What bugs me is that OH got lumped with the joint loan (that his ex took out whilst still married to OH but curiously 9-10 months before she gave birth to her 18yr old lover's baby) while his ex buys new laptop, new mobile, new freezer, new sofa, books 5 days at alton towers... and she gets all the child benefit and child tax credits as well as CSA (and works part-time and her new hubby full-time) ... and while we have the kids for equal nights (7 out of 14) we get nothing and have to pay CSA and the ex often sends the kids with messages saying "mum says you have to buy me new.... whatevers"

Anyway rant over

---

I've been so very low this week - yesterday if I could have just pulled the plug on my life, or better yet, rubbed my life out so that no-one knew I ever existed and so wouldn't feel any hurt that I was gone. Not that I was going to actually do anything but that if my life just stopped that would be ok.

Feel a bit better today but very tired as didn't sleep well.


Was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for books for CBT or something that I can order from the library?

Miroslav

Well, I had a big row with flatmate last night.

She tells me i'm rotting away and that i'm wasting my life. Tell me something I don't know :rolleyes:

She says I should go out there and find something and someone. The truth is, I don't believe I can find anything or anyone. I'm just not good enough, physically, mentally, emotionally... in any way. Add to that, i'm not sure I want to find anything or anyone....I mean I do, I just know if I want to start over again. I just want to rot away, in as little pain as possible. No-one ever likes me and I don't ever like anyone that much.

I only have one real interest now, not including my cats, and spend all my time on that and flatmate says the one thing I love is the one thing that will destroy me.

I just feel very low. Everyone has always said 'you'll meet someone, you'll find something you enjoy'. It just never happens and now i'm too frightened to even make the effort. I just hate life.

Miroslav

Debt is a serious depressive.

I've cut back on alot of things and now eat very basic and have very few gadgets. Certainly nothing new and up to date.

Try and work out all the things you can cut back on. You have to have some enjoyable things. For me it's the internet and satellite TV for the music channels, but there were things I cut back/quit and I don't even miss them. I get less than £90 a week and still have £20-30 per week leftover. If only flatmate were so careful!

I'll be out of debt by the time i'm 278 :rolleyes:

newlywed

Miroslav wrote: »

I just feel very low. Everyone has always said 'you'll meet someone, you'll find something you enjoy'. It just never happens and now i'm too frightened to even make the effort. I just hate life.

Hugs to you miro.

I think you need to ask whether you want to continue life wondering "what if...." or whether it's better to try and know the answer is that your life wouldn't have been much different?

I spent too many years wondering "what if I'd asked him out, what if I'd had the guts to just say hi to him..." In the end I found someone where I was asking myself "what if I had to live the rest of my life knowing he was nearby but never ever being with him".

I think you need to learn to like yourself a little bit before others can learn to like you too.


Just remember you will never know what you could be capable of, unless you actually try.


And yes I know that's much easier said than done - especially with depression

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Hope all is well,My brother is getting Married this Sunday and I will have a new sister in law.I am so happy.My parents and I are going out for dinner on Sunday to celebrate his wedding and thinking of him and his fiancee out in Bermuda,My Sister is out there for the wedding and respresenting Mum and Dad and me.I am off to my local church soon to see friends and have a nice chat.

love and light,

Katie xxx

Miroslav

newlywed wrote: »

Hi Zith,

Know how you feel about debt. I'm on a DMP and although that means interest has stopped on most of my debts and I'm paying it back... I'm still struggling to budget and get really down that everything has to come down to money. My car is sick and I have no credit cards and trying to work out how to pay for it as without the car I can't get to work (bus takes more than twice as long and costs more and I end up so much more tired that I can't face that for long). I should have a car repair fund and an emergency fund as that's all in the DMP budget, but I've been so down and seriously screwed up my budgets so there's nothing. I'm going to be ringing my DMP this month (again) to ask to make a reduced payment so I can get my car fixed.

What bugs me is that OH got lumped with the joint loan (that his ex took out whilst still married to OH but curiously 9-10 months before she gave birth to her 18yr old lover's baby) while his ex buys new laptop, new mobile, new freezer, new sofa, books 5 days at alton towers... and she gets all the child benefit and child tax credits as well as CSA (and works part-time and her new hubby full-time) ... and while we have the kids for equal nights (7 out of 14) we get nothing and have to pay CSA and the ex often sends the kids with messages saying "mum says you have to buy me new.... whatevers"

Anyway rant over

---

I've been so very low this week - yesterday if I could have just pulled the plug on my life, or better yet, rubbed my life out so that no-one knew I ever existed and so wouldn't feel any hurt that I was gone. Not that I was going to actually do anything but that if my life just stopped that would be ok.

Feel a bit better today but very tired as didn't sleep well.


Was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for books for CBT or something that I can order from the library?

Depression can make you screw up budgets. I know I screw them up all the time despite saving money. I just don't pay some people and then an emergency comes along and i'm in more trouble.

newlywed

Miroslav wrote: »

Depression can make you screw up budgets. I know I screw them up all the time despite saving money. I just don't pay some people and then an emergency comes along and i'm in more trouble.

I went food shopping two days after my dad died suddenly, and had absolutely no idea what I was doing just walking in a daze going might need that, might need that - £100 later and really not much stuff for proper meals :rolleyes:

Wouldn't mind if it was just me on my own, I'd live on rubbish food for a week (the chippy is only up the road) but with OH and two step kids I feel kind of responsible for helping them eat healthily I pay food, gas, electric and car costs and OH pays rent, council tax, sky tv etc. Only works out even if I keep a check on the budget and my car doesn't go wrong

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
How's stuff guys? It can't be too bad - it is Purrsday after all.
I've been busa bit y doing some tiffing this morning - though I still haven't done the 37 replies I owe miro yet. I haven't read back yet and I've got to go to Asdaland and cpn is coming too. So tired and so much to do!






Methinks I needs a quick catnap!

More later I hope folks.
I hope everyone's as well as they can be.
Be kind to yourself guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi hearts!
How are you angel?
I'm sorry I haven't repied to you before now, hearts. You went through a really rough patch when you posted earlier in the month and bless the kind souls that replied to your post, including shaz, chopper, lola, clairet and, of course, your OH. A lot of great support given by them. It's a wonderful reminder and confirmation for anyone who doubts it, that there are still really nice people out there.

I know you weren't looking for sympathy hun, as you said in your first post, but that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with accepting any that's offered. We tend to say that there are people worse off than ourselves in this world, hearts, but your pain is just as important as anyone else's pain. What's important is the fact that what you were going through, severely distressed you.
I'm really glad things worked out for you and that you went to the hospital, hun. You made the best decision and I hope you've started to feel better. When we're very low and frightened, it can be so daunting to even reach out and admit you need help and we might imagine all kinds of possible scenarios. You listed some of your concerns about going to the hospital and treatments etc., and many others reading will have recognized them. Tbh, what's important is that you get help, in whatever form that it comes in.

I just want to quote some of those parts of your posts, angel...

hearts wrote:

2nd June, 2009.
I've had alot to deal with in the last year, it all came to a head today and I feel suicidal.
I'm afraid to take meds because I don't want to feel any worse than I do right now until they kick in and start working.
I know other peeps have life worse than me but I can't seem to convince myself that.

I don't want to get sectioned and I'm afraid that the meds they prescribe will make me like a zombie.
MY OH wants me to go to hossy but I'm afraid they will keep me in.
I know I won't get over what has happened, I'm not strong enough and feel devastated but I don't want to take ADs because I won't be able to function normally like drive a car while taking them.
I just want to feel like my old self again.

and your last post...

hearts wrote:

3rd June, 2009.
Hi I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who was there for me last night .
I went to the mental health unit at my local hospital and spoke to a lovely man who assured me that I would get well and enjoy life again.
He prescribed me Cipralex 20mg to take once a day, he said I might feel worse for a few days but then things should improve.
Thank god for this site because it really was a close call, thank you all very much and I hope you all yourselves feel well and happy xx.

Isn't it amazing what difference just 24 hours can make when we ask for and get help?!

By posting hun, you have shown that it is possible to come back from the brink as it were. Just imagine what a tragedy it would have been if you'd followed your instincts!

I hope this point will help anyone else in a similar situation. This is one reason I quoted parts of your posts.
I also did it to show that this is how we can think when we're very distressed and that we should never act upon these thoughts while we're at crisis point. It's important just to get help as soon as possible.

And finally sweetie, I want you to print off the above quotes to help yourself. Think of it as insurance.
If you ever feel like that again, you can look back at what happened, all you were feeling and worrying about and scared of, and then you can see that there was help for you, even though you thought there couldn't ever be, and that you are a survivor!
Well done for seeing the dr, hunnie, and by posting the quotes, I hope it may help others who might be in a similar situation. I wish you a speedy recovery, hun. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Miroslav

newlywed wrote: »

Hugs to you miro.

I think you need to ask whether you want to continue life wondering "what if...." or whether it's better to try and know the answer is that your life wouldn't have been much different?

I spent too many years wondering "what if I'd asked him out, what if I'd had the guts to just say hi to him..." In the end I found someone where I was asking myself "what if I had to live the rest of my life knowing he was nearby but never ever being with him".

I think you need to learn to like yourself a little bit before others can learn to like you too.


Just remember you will never know what you could be capable of, unless you actually try.


And yes I know that's much easier said than done - especially with depression

I think i'm just scared that if I try and it goes wrong again, i'll just end it, when my lfatmate and cats need me here. One more knock could push me over the edge, so I have to find a way to get better before making that next step, but then I am rotting away here.

I don't think I deserve anyone and to be honest, I don't like anyone right now anyway and don't think I ever will. I don't have anything anyone would want.

I like myself, who I am etc etc, but nobody else does. I just don't like what I look like. I have debts, no job, rent a grubby little flat and have a history that no-one would want to touch. I'm shy and that puts people off as well.

I'm just getting angrier by the day and it's only a matter of time until someone is going to push me too far.