Support for people with Depression

newlywed

Tiff wrote: »

And welcome back newly, hunnie! It's been a long time since we've had the pleasure of your company hun - it's good to see you, though I'm sorry you're having a rough time atm.

Hi ccstar - hope you're ok.

Thanks Tiff. I've been ok up till recently, someone on here posted a link regarding verbal abuse some time back and although I don't feel I was suffering from that, it made me realise that alot of the things happening were because I let them happen to me and let people treat me like that, and a lot of the follow on results were because of my overblown reactions. So I did some online CBT stuff and it helped me loads. Helped me realise when to tell others to stop because they were being unfair and when to tell my thoughts to stop because my head wasn't telling me the truth :rolleyes:

So I've been dealing with things and not thinking every argument is a disaster and the end of my world.

I feel a bit better today. Went to a wedding at the weekend and caught up with a really good friend who I've kind of lost touch with when she moved, we realised we've missed each other. Got fed up of people telling me how sorry they were about the recent bereavement - I know they care and are trying to show it, but I was trying to think happy weddingy thoughts :rolleyes:. Then had a friend of OH's down as he's going through difficult time at the moment.

So been busy, feel very tired but a bit more content inside. Course that could all change in a couple of hours though

Horasio

Hi guys

Got thro the weekend but I hate doing routine stuff when the weather is nice.

My son won't be getting his place renewed and DO NOT want him back with us (the feeling is mutual). He scraped his brand new car the other day. He is 21 and is a pain in the neck. He is burning the candle at both ends and people (his neighbours and his boss) keep having a go at him, which I support, because he never listens to us and feel he is going to end up having nothing and us having to put up with him in our zone which is something we REFUSE to do.

He never saves his money and is out all the time spending and being with his mates

If I had what he had at 21, I would have felt really blessed and really made the most of it sensible. I/we had to struggle and not have same things till I was much older.

The plumber is being slow about finishing his work and making things worse. Haven't been able to sign the contract to stay on because we don't trust them. I am sick of housing issues:mad:

I feel so stressed and hate it even more when the weather is nice.

shazrobo

hi ccstar, (((hugs))) i know how your feeling, i hate been upset when weather is nice too.

kids went off to school ok which was a blessing peace and quiet to get on and sort out the housework, didnt want to do it, would rather be outside, but ian said he was coming over this morning so i stayed in.

anyway he has just text to say he has only just got up, and feels too rough to come over.

he had been out drinking all day yesterday, while watching rugby, then was out again last night.

i was looking forward to seeing him, and feel so let down, and in tears. he obviously dont feel the same.

men :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

shaz xxx

beachbeth

Poor you, Shaz. Not very nice of him to do that. Concentrate on making the rest of the day nice for yourself instead. Put the non-essential housework on hold and treat yourself to a nice magazine to read in the garden with a long cool drink or a cuppa. You can almost imagine you are on holiday abroad outside at the moment. The weather is getting cooler on Wednesday so make the most of the sunshine today and tomorrow and don't feel guilty.

Sazbo

Shaz, I agree with Beth. Make the day nice for you, it's his loss. Please don't get upset. (((hugs)))

Sazzy xxxxxxxx

shazrobo

thanks beachbeth and sazzy for your replies, and a big thanks to AB for the phone call, nice to know i'm not alone, and i have friends

hugs

shaz xxx

TryingToGetThrough

Hi,

I'm not sure what I want to achieve from posting here, but I figured I have nothing to lose. I'm an AE, too many people know my username on here, and I wanted some anonymity.
Basically, I've had depression for ten years, SH'd for the same length of time, and had anxiety/social phobia for nearly five years. I've reached a point where I'm finding it very hard to want to go on, the only real reason I'm still here is because of my partner. I know it would destroy her if I was to attempt suicide again. I don't know how much I'm allowed to say on here, as I haven't been following this thread, and the last thing I want to do is be triggering to someone.
I don't work, though I would give anything to be able to be normal, and hold down a bog-standard job. I haven't left my house in a very long time, and if I do go out, it has to only be outside, I can't go in buses/shops/restaurants/buildings of any description, really. I've been on ad's, had counselling and CBT, and nothing's worked for me.
The summer is a thousand times worse for me, I panic badly when I'm too hot. I don't go out in the summer, partly because I have to wear long sleeves all the time, and I know I'll get too hot and panic.
This really is a bit of a woe is me post, isn't it?! I really just wanted to talk to some people who I thought would understand. I've tried ringing the Samaritans today, but got too scared after dialling 08! I have emailed them instead though.
I'm coming across as quite pathetic now, so I think I'll leave this there. I don't really have any more confidence online than I do irl (hence the AE), and don't really know how exclusive this thread is, so please just tell me to get lost if I'm intruding.

Thanks for reading if you got through that,

H x

shazrobo

hi H, and welcome to the thread, everyone here is lovely and very supportive. sorry to hear you've been feeling so low lately, has something triggered the low feelings lately?
can sympathise with the S'Hing, i used to do it myself a lot, still do occasionally, in the winter i cut my legs pretty bad, and now i'm stuck wearing jeans this weather, so i know how feeling hot can make you feel too.
have you been back to the gp, to discuss how you are feeling?
what does your partner say?, is she very supportive?
please dont put yourself down you are not pathetic, you are ill, and need support

hugs

shaz xxx

TryingToGetThrough

Hi Shaz,
Thank you for replying I really don't think anything has triggered my feeling down, it does seem to just happen at times. I often feel stressed over really minor things, constant money worries and I guess I let it get a little too much for myself or something.

I've not been back to the GP in nearly a year. She'd given me about 4 different types of ad's, and referred me for a horrendous few episodes of therapy. Nothing was helping, I'd always been utterly terrified about going to see her anyway, constantly changing appointments and stuff like that to not go, but it got to a point where I couldn't physically go to see her. I'd make an appt, feel super confident about it, get my girlfriend to come with me and feel sure I was going to go this time. The day of the appt would come, and I'd be a complete nervous wreck. There was nothing on earth that would have got me to step foot outside the front door. So, I went cold turkey on the meds, and just never made another appointment. I've thought about it plenty, and I do want to go back and try again. I'm very scared to, and I think I'd have to see a different doctor (luckily it's a good practice) but I still don't feel as though I can. Just thinking about it is making me feel sick.

My partner is fantastic, but I can't talk to her about these things. She knows, somehow, when I'm not quite *right* but usually just lets me get on with it, and work things through myself. I know that makes her sound insensitive, but she's totally not. She knows that there are things I can't stand to talk about, because they trigger me to SH, and she's brilliant at not bringing those things up. She's made it very clear that I can always talk to her about anything, but I just can't. I've always been the sort of person to keep things to myself, and I can't tell the people close to me about my feelings. I get scared that they'll think differently of me, and treat me differently because they know.

I feel like I've done this to myself, that there's something so fundamentally wrong with me that it makes me so self-destructive. I want to go to the doctor, but there's a part of me that's scared that it'll be just the same as last time, that whatever they do, it just doesn't seem to work, and I'll just end up back at square one. I feel incredibly negative saying this, but for some reason, when I try to make myself think positively, there's a part of my brain that just starts laughing at me since it knows that I'm fooling myself.

That took me so long to write that MSE timed me out.. I do have the tendency to ramble a little..

H x

shazrobo

hi H, would your girlfriend go with you as support if you went to see a different gp in the practise? not all ad's agree with different people, over the years(15+) i've tried various ad's as well as trying to manage without them, and i finally found one that helps, life isnt brilliant all the time, but they do help a great deal. i have been very lucky in my area, and my community pychiatric nurse has been a great sourse of help and support.
i'm like you in the fact i dont tell my bf everything, dont want to totally scare him off, but he does know i suffer depression, and tries to understand.
do u go into the garden at all?, its a first step in getting out the front door, at one point i coulnt go into the front garden, but i would the back, because it was private and fenced off. i still have a support worker, who comes shopping etc with me, sometimes we just meet for a coffee and a chat, which helps. if you go see a gp, and tell them how you are feeling, they might involve the crisis team, they are good at finding you additional support,
stay strong, and keep posting, there is always somebody around on here if you need support, tho it does sometimes seem quiet during the warmer summer months

hugs

shaz xxx