Support for people with Depression

Raksha

Hi peeps,

I was just wondering how you guys deal with stress/anxiety/depression and work? I worked regularly from 1977 - 1992, but never in the same job more than about 18 months. It seemed after that the honeymoon period was over and I was either made redundant or I moved on (was sacked from the last job on trumped up charges). I took a long time to recover from the impact that last one had on me and went SE in 1998, finally returning to f/t employment in 2007. I worked for an agency for 6 months, then went temp to perm (turned out not to be so perm when the Directors bit of fluff came back from maternity leave, just a cheap way to fill her place) then straight into the job I'm in now. Until 6 months ago, it was my dream job, but since a 3rd member of staff joined us, my boss has become a bit of a kn*b - I am now on monthly reviews and each time I have one it just adds to the stress.

Is it possible to keep a job while being depressed/stressed?

beachbeth

Hello Kay.:wave:

Hope you are ok. I can identify with what you say. Plus I also hate the telephone. We have caller ID so that I know whether to answer it or not. Sometimes though Im not up to it no matter who is on the other end though. I don't know why Im like this. So don't think you're the only one. Ive heard others say the same about telephones too.

beachbeth

Raksha wrote: »

Is it possible to keep a job while being depressed/stressed?

My BIL works full time and suffers with depression. He does take anti-d's and has a lovely wife and family who support him. We often say if she ever left him (which she won't because she adores him!) then he would go to pieces. So, I suppose it can depend what sort of support you have at home and how stressful your job is.

losingpatience

Hey Kay

Kay it sounds like you've had a really rough time of it. I can relate to certain parts of what your going through, I'm 24 and when I told a few people that I was depressed they immediately said I was too young to be suffering from depression ( apparently only older people are allowed to get it! ) I know what you mean about the telephone. Whenever I speak to anyone on the phone I can hear my voice shaking, even if its just my sister I'm talking to. Then because I'm aware of it and try to stop it it makes it even worse :eek:

I'm learning to just take each day as it comes. Some days I feel like crap and don't won't to do anything, other's I'm happy and "normal". If your struggling to cope with your finances then there'll be people on the debt free wannabe board who might be able to give you some advice to help you.

Raksha - I've just started taking anti-d's and for the first 2 weeks it was hellish. I've just come back to work today after being off for 2 weeks as I just didn't feel like I could cope. So I suppose it all depends on your own circumstances and whether you feel capable of working. I'm doing alot better now, I couldn't see that I would ever give up work because of it and in all honesty I couldn't afford to give up work in any case. Work keeps me busy and gives me some normality, if I wasn't working I'd just be sitting round the house which I think would make me worse to be honest.

Indie_Kid

shazrobo wrote: »

losingpatience, good luck with your first day back, hope it goes ok
sh1305, i guess the friend rang the police cos he was worried about you
not sure wat the police do with the details, depends wat they asked i suppose
shaz xxx

Thanks. He wasn't happy that I phoned (I was told to - I didn't want to phone them) and I've got no idea what happenes with us now.

Kayteehee

Aww thanks for the welcome guys

Does anyone have any advice about the phone stuff? I'm ok ringing friends if I talk to them on a regular basis but i struggle to even call to book a doctors appointment and always get my OH to do it.

My depression is a lot better than it was before, last year I stayed in bed for days on end and only got out for maybe 3 hours a day max. I've been on meds for a year and a bit now and they seem to have improved things. It's my anxiety that's the problem now. I panic about the silliest stuff, like this morning I had to go and get my car tax sorted and I started shaking and stumbling over my words to the woman behind the counter.... for no reason? Everything was legit on my forms and documents, but yet I was still nervous.

I went to uni the other day and got on the train, when I got off the train I walked across the platform and got straight on the one back home I was so panicked about going to uni i had a bit of a panic attack and then cried all the way home.

Also it says we are not allowed to talk about medical stuff on this thread - does anyone know anywhere we could go for advice about that apart from a doctor?

sandy71

Hi everyone and welcome to the new people, well not welcome cos I wish you didn't need this thread but you know what I mean:o

kayteehee My OH suffers from OCD and he isn't good with stress. He will not use the phone. I even have to ring for takeaways because he won't. I gave up trying to get him to do it, it's easier to do it myself.

Not feeling so great at the moment. Was in hospital all weekend and now I'm in a slump. I have my happy face on because everyone is telling me how lucky I am that it didn't progress to anything worse:(

Sorry if it's selfish but I don't feel lucky I just feel p****d off and being in constant pain doesn't help.

Sorry for my moan again:o

jenniewb

Kayteehee wrote: »

Aww thanks for the welcome guys

Does anyone have any advice about the phone stuff? I'm ok ringing friends if I talk to them on a regular basis but i struggle to even call to book a doctors appointment and always get my OH to do it.

My depression is a lot better than it was before, last year I stayed in bed for days on end and only got out for maybe 3 hours a day max. I've been on meds for a year and a bit now and they seem to have improved things. It's my anxiety that's the problem now. I panic about the silliest stuff, like this morning I had to go and get my car tax sorted and I started shaking and stumbling over my words to the woman behind the counter.... for no reason? Everything was legit on my forms and documents, but yet I was still nervous.

I went to uni the other day and got on the train, when I got off the train I walked across the platform and got straight on the one back home I was so panicked about going to uni i had a bit of a panic attack and then cried all the way home.

Also it says we are not allowed to talk about medical stuff on this thread - does anyone know anywhere we could go for advice about that apart from a doctor?

With the phone stuff- infact with all the anxiety attacks you have mentioned, I'd say its like alot of things, you have to build yourself back up again bit by bit, and it feels like it takes ages, never going to change, never going to get better, but it does and its all about small steps, a little every day, sometimes you get an improvement, then the next day you fall 100 steps back, but the important thing is that your trying, and even when you do fall backwards, you learn something and the courage that you find to re-pick yourself back up again fills the gap so that next time you fall backwards, you remember that in the past it felt impossible and you did still manage, the world did not cave in and you made it through.

The important things I think are to stay focused on the goal, wanting to get better and believeing you can do it. They don't always exist in your mind at the same time though which is why its important to have support, then you have the chance of someone else holding onto one other of those things.

I guess the rest is all specifics, I could advise things to try, but its your call to say what you feel able to do, what tools you have, what you think you could try. I'd suggest maybe with the phone calls, making a call every day or whatever felt OK, to one person you know every day, then when you felt you'd gotten past that, to move it on to a different person every day, then maybe to a complete stranger one day, you could try calling the samaritans? seeing if they can help with that as they are able to call you back and you could arrange them to call you one day just so you could pick up the phone, say your OK and then thats it (unless you wanted to talk further) just an idea.

Do you have any mental health support at the moment? CBT is supposed to be great for specific anxieties and you can get someone to work on a programme with you on whatever you chose. Something like going out or making a journey could be something to try? But I'd say proper councelling or psychotherapy would also be something to look into as with my anxieties anyway, I find I'm feeling all this bad stuff and then "projecting" it onto something very ordinary. The reasoning (subconcious reasoning) behnd this is that the ordinary things are easy to deal with then the stuff in my head. They are also easier to run from then when they are in my head, you sort of trick yourself into thinking "if I can just avoid x,y and z then everything will be OK" but then your still not OK, so the problem grows and spreads to other areas. This is why its important to deal with the root reason then just with where it shows up- but thats not to say its also important to deal with where else it shows up.

You probably know all this, but I just wanted to mention it as you seemed wary of "keeping up appearances" by dealing with the things you find so difficult rather then also with what causes them, I just wanted to remind you its important to deal with both. Hope that all makes sense!


Why is it you don't want to see your doctor? I'd love to suggest other places and for minor things like injuries and bugs there can be (pharmacist, NHS walk in center, A&E even!) but as far as your GP goes, so much is tied up with them, funding for care and referal help with any psychological support all needs to have their say-so or it cannot happen. If your not getting on with your doctor it is fine to ask to see a different one and even change medical centers if the need be, you can contact the NHS via their website about changing centers if you want to.
If its about getting to your GP for appointments, you can get them to visit you if it feels too scary to step outside, but maybe thats also something to work on.

losingpatience

Kay I think Jennie has given you some really great advice there, I don't feel I can really give advice as I don't fully understand what I'm going through myself to be honest.

Sandy it's completely understandable to feel that way when your in pain. I really hope you start to feel better soon

Well I can't sleep.... again I think I've managed a couple of hours since Friday and it's really starting to get to me. I just can not switch off, I can't think of anything in particular that would be bothering me to keep me awake either which is so frustrating. I've tossed and turned since I went to bed, got up and went into the spare bed to see if that helped but in the end got up. I feel sick I'm that tired, I looked as though I'd been punched in the eye yesterday because it was all swollen from tiredness. I don't know what to do to help me sleep and I know unless I start getting some sleep I'm going to end up back at square one. I just can't do anything when I'm this exhausted all the time.

LP

jenniewb

losingpatience wrote: »

Kay I think Jennie has given you some really great advice there, I don't feel I can really give advice as I don't fully understand what I'm going through myself to be honest.

Sandy it's completely understandable to feel that way when your in pain. I really hope you start to feel better soon

Well I can't sleep.... again I think I've managed a couple of hours since Friday and it's really starting to get to me. I just can not switch off, I can't think of anything in particular that would be bothering me to keep me awake either which is so frustrating. I've tossed and turned since I went to bed, got up and went into the spare bed to see if that helped but in the end got up. I feel sick I'm that tired, I looked as though I'd been punched in the eye yesterday because it was all swollen from tiredness. I don't know what to do to help me sleep and I know unless I start getting some sleep I'm going to end up back at square one. I just can't do anything when I'm this exhausted all the time.

LP

Thanks for the complement- Just be yourself, there are no right or wrong answers, only honest opinions and true experiences, I am sure you have plenty yourself.

Am so with you on the sleep thing. For me its all anxiety, something horrible seems to grow from a tiny seed when I turn out the light, the darkness seems to make things worse. I existed on somewhere between 3 and 5 hours a night for the past 3 weeks then went a bit mad on thrusday, ended up seeing the doctor and got some sleeping pills which I am too afraid to take (don't want to become addicted which I had been prewarned about, don't want to become trapped in my own nightmares) but at least I got 16 hours in over the weekend, made so much of a difference!

Not that it works for me (sorry if it sounds a bit off) but baths, candles, reading books in bed, -try not to read mags, the colours and short sharp features can psyche you up and keep you awake, also, not sure about you but its not so good for my self esteem! Other peoplke swear by Kalms (don't work for me) or Bachs herbal remedy, and then theres Lush..actually Lush can be quite helful for long spaces of time as using the products (face mask, bath bomb etc) can keep you quite occupied for a while.

However, the best advice I can suggest? try writing down whats going on in your head. It may take a while so get a pad out rather then the side of an envelope! Keep a note pad by your bed, write more stuff whenever you need to. It can make it feel easier if you also have a to-do sheet near it, but for the next day/week/planned time so that the anxiety is almost dealt with rather then just left with a "when when when!" immediant need. I think writing helps me as whilst I am doing it, I'm not feeling things as strongly, I'm more focused on trying to get it down on paper, trying to understand a bit about it, it sort of reduces the 'bite' it has for a while. Thats what helps me anyway.