Support for people with Depression

jenniewb

CCStar wrote: »

I'm not sure what to do about my mum.

It was only 3 weeks ago since her scare but since then she has been intolerable and been a bully. Add that to the 3 months of her not talking to us after turning on us and hitting my OH, we don't know what to do.

We are making some allowances as she hasn't been well, lost her husband in July and had her anaesthetic react very badly but we cannot tolerate her bullying, disrespect and nastiness.

Must take my hat of to you - I don't get on with my dad. Actually its a lot deaper then that but I can see that his behaviour and growing up with him has had a very bad effect on me and even today living my life as a result of things I experienced growing up. So now I don't see him. I feel alot better for it.
I get the rest of my family really having a go at me, plying on a guilt trip, getting angry at me... most of the time and in the past have always gone back to see him (for his benefit) but this time no. Its his selfishness I cannot live with.

I can see for me how his mentality and having to work around it can oull me backwards in so many ways. I don't think I can yet separate myself from it. I get irrationally angry, frustrated and feel worthless. Its no good for me and to be honest I cannot see how it even benefits him with me seeing him- its as if I'm saying "hey, the way you treat people, thats PERFECTLY FINE" when its not. I'd wonder if a similar thing is not true for your mother and her bullying and negativity? Do you maybe think she thinks its OK to treat you the way she does as you let it go and put up with it?

I don't think its easy cutting someone off like I have done, and I don't recommend it to everyone, but it has made me feel a certain degree of freeness that I didn't have before and it has made all the difference.
I'm sure you know whats best for you, but please act in your best interest, in my experience, no one else will if you don't!

Horasio

We did feel free during that 3 months but it wasn't nice having a family rift.

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! I feel so so low today because of my head cold.My boyfriend just called me and said he wants to see me and I want to see him but until I feel better I cant see him.I feel so teary but I am happy inside anyway as nothing is bothering or upsetting me in any way.Thanks Miro hope you feel better soon too.

Group *hug* Hope everyone feels better and happier again soon.

Have a lovely day!


love and light,

Katie xxxx

beachbeth

whitevanwoman wrote: »

I was absolutely devastated by the loss of my first dog in Dec 08. He was my life. I would not be here now without him. He got me through so much and I learned so much from him. A year on I am now able to look back fondly and with real gratitude for the priviledge of having had him in my life for nearly 15 years. It's only been recently that I've been able to look at photos and videos of him without getting upset. His ashes are next to my bed and bring me comfort.

I thought this was a lovely post to Miro and I totally agree. If you remember, I lost a beloved dog last January and feel exactly the same. She was so completely on my wavelength and adored me as much as I adored her. She really helped me with my depression because she had such unconditional love and didn't care what I looked like or if I was in a bad mood. She was just there for me. She came to me at the age of 3½ and died at the age of 9½, so I only had her for 6 years but I really made the most of those years with her because I loved her and knew that Cavaliers can have a limited time span (due to bad breeding:mad:) As it was, she died of a virus and nothing to do with having a slightly bad heart.

Other people noticed a difference in me when I had her and she really made a difference to my life. I also went to lots of dog shows (which I wouldn't have done before) and met some very nice people. (I don't agree with how some show people breed bad health problems into dogs in order to get a perfect look but that is another subject.:rolleyes: Not all show people are like this). If you love dogs it is heaven to go to a show and see all the breeds and Crufts has a Discover Dogs section where you can see each and every breed and even give them a cuddle! I wish I could live as a hermit sometimes with only dogs for company!

whitevanwoman wrote:

I suspect both my parents have mental health problems of their own but neither of them would admit it and neither of them have really shown any support to me with my mental health problems - my dad simply ignores it and my mum thinks I should just pull myself together, stop moping and think about all the people who are worse off than me.

My OH says its my mum who has caused my depression and I suspect he is right. She was never "there" for me as a child and I never really had anyone to turn to when I was anxious or upset. She is much better to me now she is in her 70's but I had quite a difficult time growing up. My dad is lovely but he left all the bringing up to my mum.

Sorry to be going on and I hope everyone is feeling ok today. I got so upset this morning because I felt I couldn't cope and just wanted to go back and hide under the duvet. Im taking half an anti-d per day at the moment because I think they are causing my diarrhoea but the trouble with this is that its not doing me much good mentally. However, I can't go and discuss this with my doctor until my stool sample test comes back and confirms that I don't have a bug. If any of you have read my post yesterday you will see that I should have had the result by now but they have damaged my last sample and couldn't analyse it. So I have to wait another 5 days or so for the result from my next stool sample, until I can see my doctor about maybe changing my anti-d. Whoever is responsible for a)damaging my sample and b) taking so long to tell me about it,:mad: probably thinks that its someone is just waiting to hear if they need to take antibiotics or not. They don't realise that I need the result so that I can go and sort out what anti-d's I need! One health problem can affect another!

shazrobo

afternoon all,. whitevamwoman, your not alone in browsing the net, and puttting off paperwork. i should be filling in one of my sons dla renewal forms, but just dont feel up to it mentally.
hugs all
shaz x

shazrobo

i hate it when people dont turn up when you've waited in for them.
can your cpn help with the formal complaint? i havent seen my cpn since beginning of december either, my next appointment is 25th of this month, where i feel they will higher my meds, as i'm not coping too well at the moment.
do you have a place called DIAL near you that can help with the dla forms, i've just rung them myself after a friend text to tell me how helpful they are. booked into see them on the 1st of feb.
hugs
shaz xxx

beachbeth

whitevanwoman wrote: »

Anyway on 2 occasions now I've waited in all afternoon for them (CPN can't be present as they won't give a specific time) and they haven't come, leaving me in a real state.

Thats terrible! They just don't know what stress this causes people. I would get in a state about this too.

whitevanwoman wrote:

Can write letters and post on internet forums with no probs but can't cope with the phone. I keep telling people that but no-one takes it seriously and people seem to think I should just get over it and stop being silly I guess I wouldn't have a CPN or be on ADs if I could "just get over it"!

Im the same. I can write and type (after all you can still do this even if you're in floods of tears!) but I will ignore the phone if I don't know who it is thats ringing and I avoid ringing other people at all costs.

I know what you mean about kicking your backside. Ive felt really slow today and have had a hard job motivating myself to do anything today.

PS. you don't have to apologise for not mentioning me before - its perfectly fine! My dog died at the end of January so the anniversary is coming up. I don't want to remember the actual date as this would be too upsetting so I just remember it as the "end of january". I do hope she is playing with your dog (or rather sleeping, because thats what she did most of!:p)

shazrobo

whitevanwoman wrote: »

Thanks Shaz
The CPN can make any necessary phone calls for me but I need to be with her - tbh, writing a letter of complaint isn't a problem, but sorting things out really needs to be done by phone and I have to phone up to request a copy of the medical report from the 1st medical. Hopefully I'll see my CPN tomorrow if there's no more snow.

Lol. There's nothing near me :rotfl:The nearest small town is 12 miles away and getting out of the village is a problem at the moment, we've had loads of snow since before Christmas - almost every day it's snowed a bit. There is a disability assoc advisor who can help but it needs a phone call to contact her and then a 40 mile round trip to see her or at least a 3 week wait for a home visit :mad: But what I did last time was to do it online and I emailed a copy of my application to the benefits advisor to check over before I submitted it. I was lucky and got awarded high level care straightaway (tho I was "in crisis") at the time. So it's just a case of forcing myself to sit down and tackle it. It runs out in March and I've had the renewal pack for a couple of months now:eek: I don't think I will get high care again as I've not been "in crisis" since September.


I think maybe a good kicking of my own backside is in order

Is there any chance you can see your CPN before the 25th? Can you ring and ask to see them urgently or see your GP, so that the meds can be increased sooner?

i'm seeing the gp on tues on a different matter, but it depends if she has time to discuss more than one thing at the appointment, our gp's are so busy, and always running late. a 3 week wait is a long time for a home visit, saying that its two week to my appointment in there office. at least you have somebody to check the forms for you. if you still have the care needs that you had last time, then you would still get the highest rate. i think it depends whether you need help day and night, or just one of them.
shaz xxx

clipboard2

On BBC News today:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8456816.stm

This article touched me, as someone I knew recently died this way.

Hesitated about posting it here, but reading the comments left at the end, peoples stories, convinced me it would be of help.

Dear Friends,
You were not born with depression; it is what your parents and others have done to you that have given you this horrible illness.
It is not your fault, although you feel that you must be to blame somehow.
CB2X (back in UK freezer)

beachbeth

whitevanwoman wrote: »

So when I'm having a good few weeks I feel a bit guilty about claiming DLA. But then the reason that I usually have a "good few weeks" is because I'm not going out, not putting myself in stressful situations, avoiding social contact and therefore emotional risk, and isolating myself from anything which could cause my mood to drop again.

Sorry to keep quoting you, but you keep saying things relevant to my own situation! Around the beginning of November I was feeling quite well and on top of things and able to cope. I felt a fraud for being on benefits. But, of course, this never lasts and I have slowly come down to the black cloud mood that I have now (Christmas doesn't help-:rolleyes:)

If Im in a bad way, tearful and unable to cope then I don't go out and see anybody or make arrangements for anyone to come and see me. I stay away from people as much as possible. However, when Im feeling better and more able to cope this is when I will have my friend round for a catchup or maybe go out for a meal with someone I know well. It makes me wonder if, because people only see you when you are well, that they think you are like that all the time and can't, therefore, understand why you can't work or are on benefits. The truth is, if they saw you 100% of the time they would realise what a small percentage of this is spent being well and being able to cope with life.:rolleyes: