Support for people with Depression

beachbeth

CCStar wrote: »

My OH says I have to set boundaries and he can manage her but it is easier when they are not your parents. His mum wouldn't bother me so much.

I know exactly what you mean. My OH just can't understand what its like having a difficult mum because his mum was lovely and very easygoing. People say "do this" or "say that" but its so hard when its your mum.

You do have to set your resolve when you aren't up to dealing with her. Be ready for her and say "I can't do that today mum" and whatever reaction you get try to stay detached (easier said than done I know). Her bad feelings are her own doing and not yours. Her reaction to what you say or do is not your responsibility. She has the ability not to behave in this way but she chooses to because it usually means she gets what she wants. Once she realises that it no longer works you may be surprised to find that she does change. This is what I have done with my own mum and she rarely now uses emotional blackmail because I won't let it work any more. The trouble with close family is that they know what buttons to push.:rolleyes:

beachbeth

PS I remember one Friday going out with a friend shopping. We had a lovely afternoon and had tea in a coffee shop and had a great chat. I got home in a good mood which was then spoilt when my mum rang. She had needed a lift that day and was really annoyed when she had tried to get hold of me earlier and couldn't (this was before the whole world had a mobile phone!). She had a real go at me for not being there when she needed a lift, as though I should have been a mind reader! I said "Im sorry mum but I was out with a friend. How was I supposed to know?" She didn't know how to answer that and put the phone down in a huff.

I felt so guilty about letting her down but I sat down and reasoned the whole situation out. She hadn't told me she may need a lift that day and how was I supposed to know she was going to need one? I managed to convince myself that none of it was my fault and that I wasn't going to let it ruin my day. It was difficult though.

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

I went out this morning to get my newspaper and 4 pints of milk,came back,spoke on mobile to my boyfriend and then got my ironing done and dusted,Now relaxing on here until I make lunch of a nice pasty I got yesterday.

Have a lovely day!

love and light,

Katie xxx

clipboard2

Hi Friends, Greetings from sunny Sharm el Sheikh on New Years Eve

Time to say goodbye to 2009 .....may I share this from Egypt?......

An ula is an Egyptian clay pot, used in remote areas to hold drinking water cool and clean.

Here is a famous Arab saying: "Eksar waraha ula"
This means: "Break an ula behind what is just left"

It means good riddance, pleasure at the departure of someone or something. It's an old Egyptian tradition to break pottery to celebrate new beginnings.

Perhaps 2009 was for you a year where you need to "break an ula" for it's ending.

Wishing you all every happiness as we celebrate the beginning of a new decade. May it be a fresh start for you! CB2X

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Just come in to wish everyone a very Happy New Year! I am at my parents overnight so may not get on to dads laptop tonight so saying it now

:hello: CB2 hope your holiday is going well

May it be a happy and healthy New Year to everyone for 2010


love and light,

Katie xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
I hope you all know how special you are and that I'm with you all in spirit at least ~ I could never forget my Tifflings.

I'll try and post this weekend but until then, the Tiffster has sent you this message...






Click me »

Be kind to yourself guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Bubbles911

Hi everyone

firstly, happy new year to everyone, I hope it brings everything you want.

You probably wont remember me but I posted here in September after being diagnosed with depression after attempting suicide. I posted once and since then I have just never had the energy or motivation to message again. Everything seems like too much effort. Since September I have barely left the house, I have seen one of my friends once when she came to visit me after it happened and I have been too down to put effort into my friendships so I have been left behind.

Its like I have no control over me anymore. I keep doing stupid things that I know are wrong but I seem to not have any control either, I keep forgetting to do the stupidest things like eat and feed my dog. I just cant see a way out from this black hole, I dont want to die anymore but I dont want to be here neither. For the last 10 years every new year me and my parents have said next year has to be better but it just keeps getting worse. I have a lot of physical problems which impact my life and I cant escape from that and being in pain non stop is ruling my life.

I have always hated new year but this time it just seems so much worse, I cant even face staying up for twelve. I feel likeike everyone else has a life except me, and I dont have the energy to change that. I am supposed to have a cpn but I have never even met them (they were supposed to come out in november but cancelled so I phoned earlier this month and asked for help and was told I would get a letter inviting me to see a psychiatric doctor) and the anti depressants are making my physical health problems worse and seem to be doing nothing for my mood.

I tried to fill out the forms for disability living allowance today and they make them so complicated i cant even fathom filling them in. I just cant imagine things getting any easier. My brothers hate me and it is all of my own making, it was my birthday on the 22nd and I got 1 present. Not even a card off my eldest brother who to be honest, has been my hero since being a kid and he hasnt even been near since then for christmas.

I can come on here and pour my heart out but my parents are sitting right across from me and I cant seem to tell any of this to them. sorry i just needed somewhere to understand.

Sazbo

Hi Bubbles - thank you for posting and happy new year to you too. You've certainly got a lot on your plate right now, what I'd say is please don't feel you need to solve everything in one go hun - I think that's a common feature in depression, at least in my experience, it puts terrible pressure on us to make everything right all at once. So one day at a time is what I'd say, and big hugs to you xxx

Just wanted to wish everyone here a very heartfelt happy new year. I love you all and hope that 2010 brings you the happiness and inner peace that you all so deserve.

Sazzy xxxxxxx
:heartsmil

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Happy New Year everyone.

Bubbles, I don't think I've met you before so hello Sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time right now (((HUGS)))

What about writing a list? This might help you to remember to do things like eat, feed the dog e.t.c

If I were you I would make an appointment with your GP and explain to them that you don't feel like the anti-depressants are working, they may change them or up the dose. Also, mention to them that you haven't seen a CPN, your GP might be able to get things moving.

I need to apply for DLA but haven't got the forms yet. I know the Citizens advice can help you with this but you'd probably have to go to them, I'm not sure if they come out.

I'm sorry to hear about your brothers. Why do you think they hate you? (sorry if you've already said in the past).

It's very hard to tell the ones we love how we are feeling for fear of upsetting them or them not understanding. If it helps, could you perhaps print off your post and give it to them?

I hope you come back here and post. We're all really friendly and will always try to help and/or offer support.

(((HUGS)))

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
*sneaks cautiously in through catflap*

Erm... Explanations and apologies to come at some point. Right, dodged that one nicely for a few hours - - but good heavens, where do I start?!
How's everyone doing?

Well, let's start with sending a sincere Tiffy to gemmab76 (gemma) and to saucysecrets (saucy). Come on in - you're both very welcome here.
And while I'm at it, I'm sending equally sincere ''nice-to-see-you-again'' hugs to sazzy, gem, elona, ettie b, miro, beth, blinky, shaz, cb2, wvw, cara, donkey, feelie, c76, dinky, bubbles and indeed, to anyone else who needs one!

Hmm? Okay, you're right - may as well do it properly...

Roll Call 2010!
Huge, moulting and seasonal Tiffy hugs to...(and in no particular order of cuteness!)...
sazzy(sazbo), ethel(ethelbloggs), gario(gario900), elona, bmf, gem(geminilady), ilgd(ilovegreatdanes), blinky, gilly, cb2, flis, karrie, rose, beer, miro, ltd(learnigtodrive), cat (cat9586), ltf(lipsthefish), lrs(letrobinsonsing), bunnie, goldie(importedgold), tank girl, zippy, pc (poppycracker), rbk, skintaz, pj(poppyjay), rain(rain-is-insane), judders, newlywed(newly), cm(carolnmalky), katie(tulip), mac, jackie(the mad bird), fg(feelinggood), sf(slowly fading), qb(queenswayboy), ccstar, kellie, dawny, fantastico, han, queenie, sh(santashelper), juno, spikey, meyore, hayley, ifa, pet(petrichor), vicky, glad, andi, mum(mumoftwins), pinklady, stebiz, tooties, lisa-m, mclaren(mac), tao(tao81), westie(westclok), carpy, pink-b(pink butterlfly), skintc(skintcatt), rovers(roversbabe), lisa-d(lisa-derby), dd2(daisydoughnut2), lewt, hyder, maz(maz123), cham(chameleon), bbbb(bibbitybob), curly(curlywurlygirl), fd(feelingdown), sssssss(7xs), pumpkin, su(su4stu), hibees, impy, consp(conspirator), maisie(maisiemay), cif, di(dithedancer), child(child359), star, wfs(whitefeatherspirit), katp, bizzybeks(beks), pills, cnmm (conandmattsmum), bltn(betterlatethannever), charlene, vb(velocityboy), sp(smallpackages), gill, lisa-ew(elegantly wasted), welsh(welsh worrier), lass(loopy lass - I can't call you loopy angel!), chelly(chellysays), bobsa, shelby(shelby161), john roberts(john-r), juliav, antronella, steph, new cook, catsavingexpert(cse), shaz, lfh(looking for help), tdmmdi(the devil made me do it), gillh(gillianh2), wmf(weymuffred), lou(loublue), suki(suki1964), toothsmith(ts), katyk, bay(bailey), ree(reehsetin), jen(jen.eng), specialk, li(limana68), shelley (fallen angel shelly), shawz, tom(tomstickland), horace, purplegirluk(purple), miss tbc(tbc), ecoelle, nicifer(nic), diamond78(diamond), grace, wo*f, weegie, gill07, big-board(bigb), moonrakermagpie(magpie), karen23(karen), deals, pug(pug-in-a-bed ), mumh(mumhug), nats3006(nats), tote alley stressed(tote), littleone83(lo83), piggeh, lexa34(lexa), iom(iom-rf), hooters, wanty(iwanttosave), hev, haribo(haribo-junkie), quasar, ws100(windowshopper-100), turkishd(turkishdelight), nopot(nopot2pin), week, littlemissmoney (missy), lady morticia(anni), oompah, chocomum(choco), skollieal(skoll), truthseeker(truth), week, angellotz (lotz), beachbeth(beth), whitevanwoman(wvw), cat64, redruby(red), setmefree2(set), rainbow child(rainbow), marru, cazac71(caz), chr_is(chris), philnicandamy(phil), back2square1(back2), earth, ab, aknot, debbiemids72(debs), before hollywood (holly), lita, pricey147(pricey), jinky67(jinky), pipkin71(pip), benthosboy(martyn), ellerose(elle), skintchick(skinty), pandora, n71, quid-itch(itchy), wannabe sybil(sybil), vmf199(vmf), ninnins(ninns), fairydawn(fairy), high-rise andrew(andrew), learner2001(learner), tangled memories(tangy), kman2001(kman), alleycat (alley), hazeyjewel(hazey), thinkginge(ginge), carmen, fedupnow (feddy), tibbie's mum(tibs), ceejayblue(cjb), drifter34 (drifter), brightonman123 (bm123), top-drawer(jen), maverick(mav), 10past6(10), tattyrabbit(tattyr), shazza40(sh40), runwin(win), rizel, jayleighann(jay), moggycat(moggy), septemberblues(blues), tyler, night-owl(owl), alba37(alba), pinkprincess(suz), petunia100(pet), alhggyb(alh), mrs.pepperpot(pepper), kentishlady(kl), lan, unixgirluk(unix), cardifforthefacup(cardiff), irt1959(irt), steph123(steph1), curled, sara501(sara), katiejones (katiej), titch89 (titch), blue sea(sea), soubrette(sou), gingernuts(ginger), a little stressed(als), rebekahr(rr), susie b(susie), astonsmummy(am), claire1234(claire), piglet29(piglet), white cat(wc), completely lost(lost), good life(lifey), amber sunshine(amber), dippychick(chick), laulipopsi(popsi) and midnightblue(blue), robin1234(rob), budget budd(budd), frames1uk(frames), maytaurus(may), merlot, littlepinkmarshmallow(pink), angel delight(ad), timcrips(tim), whysohard(wsh), ed, tarry, cerisa, girl racer(gr), sweet pea(sp), mighty men(mm), chardonnay(charl), elmostreet(kati), arne, tattoo bum(tb), liz fogg(liz), little pickle(lp), wpc, pinkbubblegum(pbg), 98jdougl(98jd), jack*, littlemissaspie(aspie), hippychick(hc), atomised(atoms), jackieb(jackie), johnny doe(jd), drinkupretty(dup), scouserwench(wench), waldokitty(waldo), izzoh, crazykittylady(ckl/nicola), sylvester(syl), lisaloo197(lisa), moneysavingmonkey85(helen), rugged toast(toast), pillypilla(pilla), notsosharp(em), mandi, doelani(lani), pink swirl(pink), la-cara(cara), savvy_sue(savvy), voofin(voofy), teapartymum(tpm), owens3116(owens), rosepink1986(rosep), jax66(jax), shaven-monkey(monkey), kitty boo(kb), chardanna(danna), marleyboy(marley), janie63(janie), mezer3000(bry), cantthinkofone(ctoo), fatou256(fatou), pollsdolls (polls), mely, eselt, little tinker(tinker), bennifred(benni), fran, wxmlad, foreign correspondent(fc), got2change(got2), skint, single mum of 4(ssm4), grannyc (gc), mrs tine(mrst), uktigerlily(lily), swampmonster(swampy), rugbymum(rm), npsmama(nps), kiwifruit(kiwi), cazziebo(caz), whitty999 (whitty), lolababy(lola), listerofsmeg(lister), busybody(busy), racyred(racy), grunny, jellymid(jelly), leothecat(leo), minxybella(bella), rocky4, hearts, hethmar, crap-with-money.com(cwm), maryotaum(mary), pixiepuff(pixie), fiftypents(fifty), donnydiva(donny), cutterby, lizzydripping(lizzy), jha, jess8905(jess), butterfly-kisses,(bk), lincolnian1988,(jon), tsimehc(tsi), gibboelli(elli), upsetonerightnow(uorn), blueangelv(bluev), robwend(rw), jamespir(james), minimoneyme(mmm), thriftyscotslass(thrifty), linzilou(linzi), zcc72(zcc), xx-jo-xx(xxjo), triker, mrs tooti-frooti(frooti), loobyloose(looby), crockpot(cp), alison99(alison), space donkey(spacey), milliemonster(millie), ad1jnl(jon), roxalana(roxy), it takes two(two), juan, pinktwirl(twirl), slinkydreamer(slinky), samuel thomson(samuel), vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv (v), b3nton(b3), ossian(ossy), blaque*angel(b*a), little surprise(ls), mousekat(mkat), tryingtogetthrough(h), love-hearts(hearts), chopper98(chopper), lolababy(lola), clairet61(claire), cozza(cozza), mamma t(mamma), meenu(meenu), zith(zith), herbaliseyourlife(haley), shiny side up(shiny), mummymoo(moo), misspointy(pointy), janninew(jann), joblesssummer12(summer), smileyt(smiley), adrisco, ~*plushroom*~(plush), possley, boo666(boo), gottochange(gtc), xXMessedUpXx(messy), blushred2(red), louise22(louise), elfen, brightonman(b-man), tia-maria06(tia), paulo silvestre(paulo), fad1211(fad), bubbles911(bubbles), dicky dunock(dicky), little monkey(monkey), walter wobblebottom(walter), chatbug(chat), dave101t(dave), annabelle09 (belle), emweaver(em), confused76(c76), blue-haddock(bh), chattie, fedup100pc(fedup), jenniewb(jennie), hannahiow(hannah), tayler_remi(tayler), joesaunt, gemmab76(gemma), saucysecrets(saucy) - et al.

Safe journeys everyone! Back tomorrow with some proper posts hopefully.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx