Support for people with Depression

geminilady

shazrobo wrote: »

think we both knew it wasnt working out, been dreading xmas for ages knowing i'd be alone, and he didnt care less. he a selfish pig. wants to come over tommorrow night tho to make up, told him no, will meet for a coffee monday instead. think he just after one thing, after all he out with his mates all day today, his family yesterday, hes not short of company,
and if he thinks he can come round here, and start groping me he can think again

If he wanted to make up he would have come round today to make up,i wonder if he ignored your texts yesterday to cause a row so he could go out with his mates today.If you think he is just after one thing
make him wait an see if his behaviour improves or worsens.Shaz only saying this because i care but don't let him use you because you are lonely you deserve better.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Shaz Sorry to hear about you and Ian. For what it's worth I think you deserve much better than him. It seems like he wasn't as committed as he should have been. You want someone who is always going to be there for you and the boys, not someone who comes and goes as they please. You're sounding quite positive Shaz, this is a good sign (((HUGS)))

Horasio

Had an OK but boring Christmas Day. Son was hung over and spent the afternoon in bed. My mum kept going on and on about a bloke she used live next door to. He's a bit hot and cold but my mum has to decide about him. He has moved miles away buit talk by phone. My OH was busy and cooked dinner and ferried people around. Had a lovely meal. Had better days but also had worse ones.

Yesterday, Boxing day much better. Our son drove us to my OH family so my OH and I could drink.

Feel a bit like new year's day today as we didn't get in till 3am and got to sleep at 5am.

Shaz, sorry to hear you have been messed about by Ian. You deserve better.

shazrobo

had a really long chat with ian, he decided to spend xmas with his family, as he did last year, because he finds xmas hard and misses his son a lot, he hasnt seen him since jul 08, ex's fault, long story.
wish he had told me this before xmas, i feel a bit inadequate, that he couldnt confide and find comfort from me.
decided to meet up with him tommorrow for a coffee, and take it from there.
he went to rugby yesterday with his mates, and says he only went, because he didnt think he would be welcome at mine.
he wanted to come over and chat tonight, but thought tommorrow day time would be better.
shaz x

Horasio

Shaz, you have so much on your plate with your own boys and your own issues

It sounds like you have another 'child' to deal with, without much support

Is this what you want?

The trouble with being a caring woman (as you sound to be), it can attract people who could take advantage of you.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Shaz It sounds as though Ian is twisting the situation so that it ends up being your fault and you end up feeling bad.

Horasio

razorbladekisses wrote: »

Shaz It sounds as though Ian is twisting the situation so that it ends up being your fault and you end up feeling bad.

I agree:(..............

LadyMorticia

razorbladekisses wrote: »

Shaz It sounds as though Ian is twisting the situation so that it ends up being your fault and you end up feeling bad.

It does seem very manipulative, doesn't it?

Shaz hun, you deserve a lot better than someone who is half hearted about you and your relationship with them.
You're a lovely, caring person and I'm worried that he'll wriggle his way back in when you're down and will use your weaknesses against you..:(

HopeAndDriftWood

shazrobo wrote: »

think we both knew it wasnt working out, been dreading xmas for ages knowing i'd be alone, and he didnt care less. he a selfish pig. wants to come over tommorrow night tho to make up, told him no, will meet for a coffee monday instead. think he just after one thing, after all he out with his mates all day today, his family yesterday, hes not short of company,
and if he thinks he can come round here, and start groping me he can think again

Stick with this. You are worth so much more then someone who can only be bothered when it benefits them, and twists things to make them seem like your fault. Stay strong

jenniewb

Shazrobo- sorry to hear about whats happened especially around Xmas as its already stressful for most people anyway! But I remember reading in a past post a while ago and wondering back then if you really felt he was a good thing for you. Am sort of glad in a way that your able to get a chance to move away from what reads as a negative relationship.

Am sure you get something out of it but it just seems your not getting back anywhere near as much as you put in. My worry though would be that you find another relationship that doesn't give back as it ideally would- I think you can see it -? hope you can, but I also know that for most people who wear their hearts on their sleeve, hearts rule over any reality or sense!

Sometimes even though we know the relationship 'rules' it makes no difference. I think thats something to do with past issues and hoping someone out there can fit the hole the past issues have left. I also think though that if we have this need or desire (whatever it may be and I think it varies from person to person) on the forefront of our minds so much, anything we come across can very easily feed into it. If someone comes alone we can easily manipulate what we see to fill the dream or hope we hold out for. Maybe if that makes some sense to you, you can be aware of it and it can help a bit- I just worry about you getting into a relationship which doesn't benefit you- it worries me as for other people who maybe act with more value for themselves, they see themselves in an 'uneven relationship' and they stop the relationship, or try to change it by talking or getting relationship councelling.

Its just that, -and unless I'm I missed something (and correct me as I may have done!) you let that lie, you don't stop and say "wait a minute this is not OK for me" and thats what worries me. I guess that's for whatever reasons known to you, but from the outside looking in, it just feels unhappy and not something thats going to help you, your mood/depression or your life. I hope that if your somehow a bit more aware of whats actually happening- that you might act in a different way and take things slowly, think about things and look after yourself- put yourself first!

Please take care of yourself.