Support for people with Depression

shazrobo

thanks for all the replies, certainly given me a lot to think about, and its brought tears to my eyes knowing so many people care.
jenniewb, your post has certainly made me think, i do have issues from the past, too many to mention here lol. i think i put a lot into relationships for very little back. but its the little i do get, that keeps me going if it makes sense? its nice to have company, especially now the kids getting older, and ian can cope with them better pysically, as he is so much stronger. nice to have hugs and kisses, nice to have a grown up to go to cinema or eat out instead of kids all time.
on other hand, ccstar is right its like having another child to clean up after, wash clothes etc, he never does any housework at all, he gets away with it saying hes a guest in my house , when i just want a cuddle, he often makes a grab for my boobs, even tho i'm not always in the mood, he see's it as being normal to do it all time, is it? .
at end of day who else will want me? i have 2 teenage boys with special needs, that take up a lot of my time, plus i am so tall, most guys wouldnt look twice at a girl of 6 3", sometimes i get mistaken for a boy cos i'm so tall. i have no self confidence whatsoever, and sometimes feel someone is better than no one.
hugs all
shaz xxx
sorry for long post

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Hope all is well,.I am fine,Off to Mums soon for a nice lunch,Shaz So Sorry about you and Ian splitting up.

I shopped online at littlewoods.com last night and got two pairs of jeans 1 mid denem and one black for £2 eg £1 each pair and that inc free delivery.

If you want jeans for £1 the link is here:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2168019&highlight=ladies+jeans


I hope you and Ian can discuss stuff Shaz of whats gone wrong but decide what is best for you and the kids


love and light,

Katie xxx

shazrobo

hi katie, well done on getting jeans for a pound a pair, what a bargain. unfortunatly i'm too tall for clothes bargains, and have to go to specialised shops to get jeans and trousers long enough.
ian and i have had a chat about things, and he has apologised, said i'd take things slowly and see what happens, things are not going to be like they were before

shaz x

beachbeth

shazrobo wrote: »

when i just want a cuddle, he often makes a grab for my boobs, even tho i'm not always in the mood, he see's it as being normal to do it all time, is it? .

I don't think its normal to expect to be able to do this all the time with your girlfriend. In a way I think its disrespectful. I would get very annoyed if my OH did this a lot.

I agree with what everyone else has said. You need to look after yourself and this man just seems like someone else for you to run around after. He wants things his own way and seems to know you will put up with it. I can understand though you wanting another adult to do things with though. Tough situation. Hope you can sort it out for the best.

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

So glad to read Shaz that you are Ian are going to try again,Take it slowly though to begin with,I am alright and had a nice time at mums.

love and light,

Katie xxx

clipboard2

Tiff wrote: »

Hi guys! , cb2 (what are you up to hunnie?)
Tiff xxx

You called?

But first and foremost.....what are you up to Tiff? Your friends are here to support you, we care about you.

What am I up to... Bags are packed, am flying to Egypt via Paris tomorrow, but whether I get there is in the hands of the gods with all the delays. Thought I might need advice from here:
www.sleepinginairports.com
CDG Paris airport is outstandingly awful (read reviews this site for the full horror detail), voted consistently worst airport in the world.
Sound like a job for our ccstar to sort out, customer service is not their strong point!

My DH now resembles a dusky Arab, he is having a fantastic time working as an academic out there. Egypt is awesome!

My wonderful acm (adopted cheeky monkey) is currently on tour working in The Caribbean, doing a job she loves and making others happy. When I read her posts from 2006/2007, it is nothing short of a miracle to see the transformation into the secure and confident young woman she now is.
If she can change like this (and she was so very ill with depression/suicidal/self harming), so can anyone reading this - yes, even you!

I hope this inspires and encourages you all. CB2X

System

I want to give you all *hugs*

shazrobo

have a good trip cb2
hugs
shaz xxx

Amber_Sunshine

Hope everyone had the best Christmas possible. Mine was low-key, I hadn't planned anything special which was just as well. Reason being I found out Christmas Eve that my ex had had to have our cat PTS sleep as she had a very rare form of leukemia. So I spent the last hours of Christmas Eve sobbing away. Thankfully she had 12 years of very good health and was only ill for a very short time.

Ex-BF took me to the cinema Boxing Day to cheer me up - he even sat through Zombieland because he knew how much I wanted to see it

Shaz, I hope you get things sorted out with Ian, whatever outcome is right for you. It would be lovely if you can talk things through and come out stronger as a couple. Still, you are one hell of a strong woman even if you don't think so, and if he is not right for you then better to be single.

Katie, should we all be dusting off our wedding hats?

jenniewb

shazrobo wrote: »

thanks for all the replies, certainly given me a lot to think about, and its brought tears to my eyes knowing so many people care.
jenniewb, your post has certainly made me think, i do have issues from the past, too many to mention here lol. i think i put a lot into relationships for very little back. but its the little i do get, that keeps me going if it makes sense? its nice to have company, especially now the kids getting older, and ian can cope with them better pysically, as he is so much stronger. nice to have hugs and kisses, nice to have a grown up to go to cinema or eat out instead of kids all time.
on other hand, ccstar is right its like having another child to clean up after, wash clothes etc, he never does any housework at all, he gets away with it saying hes a guest in my house , when i just want a cuddle, he often makes a grab for my boobs, even tho i'm not always in the mood, he see's it as being normal to do it all time, is it? .
at end of day who else will want me? i have 2 teenage boys with special needs, that take up a lot of my time, plus i am so tall, most guys wouldnt look twice at a girl of 6 3", sometimes i get mistaken for a boy cos i'm so tall. i have no self confidence whatsoever, and sometimes feel someone is better than no one.
hugs all
shaz xxx
sorry for long post

Please don't let that be an excuse for living the semi-type sort of life that an uneven (and maybe unhealthy?) relationshio to continue- its the lack of getting things back thats adding to your self loathing- if your not given respect or similar energy back for the energy you give out, its going to affect your self esteem, fact! If your self esteem is awlays taking a knock downwards, your not going to have a chance to really believe things can be better or that there could be someone else out there who can appreciate you. Can you see the vicious cycle?

I can't tell you whats best for you, I can only say as I see and what I see is that your relationship with this guy doesn't seem to be helping you from anything but maybe helping with the day to day stress which I can see is intense for you, but its also in turn making that day to day stress fell worse as your not at such a strong starting point when you come to deal with it. Your not at such a strong starting point as this relationship seems to be snatching all your confidence and appreciation for yourself away.

Not saying being alone is easy and at first it can feel impossible. But you learn to do things sort of differently: rely in your friends in a different way, learn to find and use therapy/councelling in a different way and learn when and how to ask for help- and use the help on offer! (its sometimes very hard to do this!) but it is possible and thing can get better!