Does anyone else feel this way or am I just strange?

Slinky

I was standing in the wrong queue when they were handing out maternal instincts! Just as well as I didn't meet my DH til I was 37. He's not bothered about kids either.

Had years of friends saying 'you'll change your mind one day' 'when you meet Mr Right things will change' Somehow they couldn't believe that I know my own mind, although finally I think that now I'm approaching 45 they've got the message!

I read somewhere that women whose mothers left them in teenage years often have no desire to have children - perhaps that's the reason why in my case.

Alybea

I really dislike the sound of screaming children, i have no patience and the idea of not eating brie for nine months upsets me.

I'm not maternal towards babies, but give me a kitten/lamb/puppy/rabbit/geko and i go gooey.
I like the idea of being Auntie A though.

I find the idea of pregnancy really intriguing from a biological perspective - how the body adapts, the pelvis loosens and cravings etc.

Some people know from a really young age that being a mummy is important to them, some people don't ever want to do it. do what feels right for you, don't be pushed into anything.

Silaqui

Thank you you everyone for your replies - and thanks Ell-Gee for clearing up the cream egg thing lol, yes it was that thread haha. Apologies if I scared anyone through my misunderstanding!

It is good to hear about other peoples feelings. It seems to be such a given that women should be in love with the idea of having babies and when you are surrounded by friends of a similar age who are getting married, having kids etc it kind of makes you doubt yourself.

It's interesting what you said, purplebutterfly - I'm the only one out of all of my friends from school who went to Uni, and I'm also the only one who doesn't seem to be particularly maternal - the people I went to uni with all seem to be in a similar position to me. (I don't see them very often as we all spread out across the country again after we graduated). I wonder if thats a common thing?

My mum is similar to yours Cazza, and her experience seems to be like that of Libby: my mum said she hated it when me and my sis were babies, she couldn't wait for us to grow up and be proper kids so we could actually do something. I guess I'll be the same, if it ever happens.

I hear what you are saying about adoption - but thinking about that make me think if I do have a kid then I'd rather it was my own so it's worth the hard work, than have to take on someone elses. That comes across as more harsh than it's meant, but I can't think of a better way to put it. It is selfish, I know - but then I guess all of my reasons for the way I feel are down to selfishness! I agree with what purplebutterfly said again - I teach in a 14-19 school and some of the students I teach are so incredibly disrespectful - I'd be so incredibly disappointed if I had a child and they turned out like that.

As I said it is nice getting other opinions. I mentioned before that whether I wanted them or not it wouldn't be happening anytime soon, I'm not stressing about it too much now - I tend to go with the flow in life, this has just rocked the boat a bit what with every other day someone popping!

xx

Silaqui

Oh and I agree with those who have said about the puppies/kittens thing - they are so much cuter than babies! (well, for us non maternal peeps anyway!)
x

MrsTinks

I have never gone all soppy over other peoples children - even though I am now 7 weeks from my daughter being due I STILL find little fascination with other peoples babies... I can see why THEY find then cute etc, but I really don't find them interesting... I'm not looking forward to the nappies and poo and certainly not to the actual birth! When I was about 18-19 I had a miscarriage - I was on the pill so it was totally not a planned pregnancy! but someone forgot to mention that the pill was only 98% effective and I didn't know I was even pregnant until I miscarried... It made me look at my life in a totally different way. I realised I wasn't ready then but ONE day I'd want children, I also realised that my OH at the time wasn't the right person...
Fast forward to 29 and I'm expecting my first child 1 week after my first wedding anniversary Took me about 10 years to get here - to a place in life where I knew that NOW was the time to have a family. I have a career and I have had time to find myself and know what I want in life.
I've not exactly had an easy pregnancy but not as hard as others and I am having serious doubts about having more than one child now - not sure how I'd cope with another pregnancy AND a young child as well as my career.
I still get panic attacks about becoming someones mummy but then I see my belly moving and feel her squidging around and I know she'll be worth it all
I'll manage to cope with the dirty nappies, I'll manage the sleepless night and somehow we'll manage to have lives too

All I can say is if you don't feel ready for children then wait...
If when you're older you don't feel you want babies then why not look at adoption or even becoming foster parents?

Cazza

I think you really have got something there Silaqui, I think Uni makes a big difference. None of my close friends have had children yet, and virtually all of us went to Uni, the first set got married last year, but she was 28 and he was 30.

My sister and her friends didn't particularly tend to go to Uni. In contrast, most of her close friends are now married and planning families or have young children. She's 24. It's almost as though University puts your life back in this area by 3 or 4 years, wierd and interesting at the same time!