Does anyone else feel this way or am I just strange?

Bitsy_Beans

When I was 24 having babies was the LAST thing on my mind. I was too busy setting up first home with my fiance (now H) and enjoying time together as a couple. Got married when I was 29 and had our first baby at 30. Had my second 9 months ago.
I was never broody, didn't go gaga over babies so can kind of understand where you're coming from. But after I settled down with my H things change and we knew we wanted a family and have never looked back.
BUT they are a major lifestyle change - and not just financially. I have very little "me" time and they are 24/7 dependant on me (as they are still young). If you aren't ready to accept this change then babies or children aren't for you which is fine. Not everyone wants to be a parent. I'd rather people were happy with that idea then to get pregnant and have an unwanted child.
Pregnancy is a means to an end. I didn't enjoy most of it but what I got as an end result more than makes up for it. Those that say they loved being pregnant are either lying or they were very very lucky!!

geminilady

Silaqui wrote: »

Hi everyone.
Just after a bit of advice/reassurance/dunno really just need to get something of my chest.

I'm 24 and I am starting to become more and more aware of people my age who are having babies...friends, colleagues, people from facebook that I went to school with, all around my age.

This is starting to confuse me - in one way I would like to have kids, I can see myself at 50 odd with grown up kids like how it is with my mum and I; the problem is, I can't stand babies!

I hate the thought of being pregnant, all those restrictions and things - I read a thing the other day with someone complaining that they couldn't have a cream egg because they were pg... No alcohol, roller coasters, etc etc etc. Fat belly, and having to give birth at the end of it! Now that might be ok if you want a baby, maybe the sacrifice is worth it - but what if you hate babies anyway? I can't stand the crying, the smell, talc that awful milky smell when they have just been fed, and don't even start me on the vileness of breastfeeding and nappy changing.

I can't see that changing either, I know I'm still quite young but I've been like this since I was a kid myself. The thing is, I do someday want a mum/child relationship of my own.

Does that sound completely confusing? It does to me lol.
Now don't get me wrong, I've only been with my bf for 3 years and have quite a bit I want to do before I have to think about it seriously - but will I change? Did anyone else have this attiude and go on to actually like having a baby?
Or am I just a total weirdo....

xx

My best friend knew from an early age(12 or so) that she did not want children and she never changed her mind but as others have said some people do.I am suprised nobody has mentioned that you could possibly adopt a child/children.As you say you do not like the thought of going through pregnancy and childbirth and are not keen on babies it would be an idea to think about adopting an older child.There are lots of children in care hoping for parents and as a lot of people prefer babies there is no shortage of older children

elle_gee

Silaqui wrote: »

MrCow and Barneysmom, the cream egg thing was actually on here - think it was a throwaway comment by someone on an old thread I ws reading about someone whose OH had brought home a cream egg and she was annoyed at him because he knew she couldn't have one because she was pregnant... obv I don't know the full details but it just made me think, bloody hell not another thing!

The McDonalds Monopoly thread? (conincidentially, I just read it!) The poster was referring to the McFlurry - you're not supposed to have soft whip ice cream (ie McFlurry) whilst pregnant due to the risk of listeria bacteria as listeria is harmful to the unborn child. Creme Eggs themselves, and other chocolate, are fine

purplebutterfly

To be honest, almost everyone I know who is around my age (29) is only just settling down/getting married etc. They all went to University until at least the age of 21 though - so I'm not sure if that makes a difference?

Not that they are all big career men/women, just that they seem to have spent longer doing things like travelling or focusing on themselves and having fun

dontone

To the OP. You are not weird and I didn't find anything you wrote in the least bit confusing.

I am now 32 years old, been married 8 years, been with OH 13 years and we have hardly thought about having children, let alone talked about them.
Our last conversation about kids went like this.

OH - Do you want kids?
ME - not really, do you?
OH - hmmmm - not bothered really, happy as we are.
ME - me too.
OH - Great, what shall we have for tea?

So there you go. TBH me and DH felt pressurised at one point by our families and friends to have kids but we enjoy life as we are. We can go out, go on holidays and spend our money on ourselves. I wouldn't say had a pretty miserable childhood, but my parents weren't exactly supportive and seemed to be a bit dismissive to our problems and aren't the easiest of people to talk to.My biggest fear is turning out exactly like that so it's put me off having children. Also the whole thought of pregnancy makes me squirm, so don't worry about it.
If you think later down the road of having them then great, go for, it but don't give in to pressure to have them, do it when you are ready.
I don't think its any big deal having children, but perhaps I'll have a different view in around 25 - 30 years, I don't know. I don't hate kids, but it's just not for me (or OH, he's not bothered either way)
The best thing though about being around other peoples kids is if they start crying & screaming you can always hand 'em back.
And if you want company and something to mother without going through labour, do what we did - get a dog :rotfl:

Money_maker

Just a few thoughts from me:

I hated the look of babies - much preferred furry or feathered creatures.

You never are ready - I hadn't even held a baby before I had mine.

You spend so much time in pregnancy and bf thinking about what you are not allowed to eat/drink and really miss. Once you are finished with the bf you dont want to eat/drink what you thought you'd been missing!

Having children changes your perspective - its hard work and really demanding but it hits you as more important than anything else in your life, like the most important job ever (and it is).

Who wants a mcflurry anyway?

Give it time, you will either change your views or you wont. No point making a decision now, you have another 16 years or so to decide.

Enjoy today - tomorrow will be another day.

BlueAngelCV

elle_gee wrote: »

The McDonalds Monopoly thread? (conincidentially, I just read it!) The poster was referring to the McFlurry - you're not supposed to have soft whip ice cream (ie McFlurry) whilst pregnant due to the risk of listeria bacteria as listeria is harmful to the unborn child. Creme Eggs themselves, and other chocolate, are fine

Glad you've cleared that up, creme eggs would have been make or break for me!

I'm similarly finding that everyone around me is having babies. I was amazed by the things that you can and cannot do/consume whilst you're pregnant. I knew the obvious ones but there are so many others. Is there some sort of magic knowledge that comes as soon as you get pregnant?!

When I was younger I never wanted children. I'm now 25 and seeing other people's babies has made me decide that I do want them i the future when I'm a "grown-up"! I definitely don't want them now though. I'm planning on getting married at around 30 (providing I don't split up with my OH before then, I'm not some psycho who's going to grab the 1st guy she sees when she hits 30) and then havibng children around 30-35.

I think that when/if you are ready for children varies massively between people. People my age are having babies and that's fine. I still see myself as a child though so I'm not ready to look after one.

dieselhead

I just thought I would add my perspective, I am 25 and would love to settle down and have some children, I often feel quite broody in fact! However I don't have a boyfriend, or many (real) friends, I often joke that I have over 200 'friends' on facebook but no-one to go to the cinema with!

The reason for the above is that I am in the last few months of a 6 year university course (architecture) and so spend much of the day staring at a computer screen. I don't have the time or the money to go out, and in some respects it would be difficult if I did meet someone as I am currently applying for jobs all over the country and could move anywhere in the next few months, but that doesn't stop me wondering!

Millburn_farm

I am now 46; I've had a hystorectomy and I am childless

I am with (have been for 12 yrs) a man with 2 previous wives and 5 children plus a step-daughter and her "grandchildren"

I absolutely adore being a step-mum to them all; and the best days of my life (forget his) are watching him with his children; BUT would I change things and be a mother; not a hope

I was actually on the phone today with one of the girls (27) helping her sort being a landlord; it's wonderful being a part of my man's family; and something I wouldn't swap; but giving birth NO-WAY not ever not on God's earth

ailuro2

I always thought I'd never want kids, said I'd decide for good when I got to 30,just in case my biologival clock kicked in... really didn't fancy the disruption etc, but then my pill failed (had been off it for an operation, thought I'd be ok according to instructions) and found myself expecting at 28yrs old.

I dreaded it, and the first year was really tough for me and OH, but we got through it, and now she's 10 and the best thing that ever happened to us, it is wonderful knowing what my boobs are REALLY for (not just for the front of NUTS magazine it turns out!) and just KNOWING that me and DH made soemthing together that is so perfect just blows your mind.

We only ever managed to have one, so I see her as a special little gift sent from who knows where that was just meant to be with us. I know that may sound a bit wierd, but what I'm trying to explain is it all changes once you've had them. I'd lay down my life without thinking, and wouldn't be without our DD even though I didn't originally want any.:o