Does anyone else feel this way or am I just strange?

Silaqui

Hi everyone.
Just after a bit of advice/reassurance/dunno really just need to get something of my chest.

I'm 24 and I am starting to become more and more aware of people my age who are having babies...friends, colleagues, people from facebook that I went to school with, all around my age.

This is starting to confuse me - in one way I would like to have kids, I can see myself at 50 odd with grown up kids like how it is with my mum and I; the problem is, I can't stand babies!

I hate the thought of being pregnant, all those restrictions and things - I read a thing the other day with someone complaining that they couldn't have a cream egg because they were pg... No alcohol, roller coasters, etc etc etc. Fat belly, and having to give birth at the end of it! Now that might be ok if you want a baby, maybe the sacrifice is worth it - but what if you hate babies anyway? I can't stand the crying, the smell, talc that awful milky smell when they have just been fed, and don't even start me on the vileness of breastfeeding and nappy changing.

I can't see that changing either, I know I'm still quite young but I've been like this since I was a kid myself. The thing is, I do someday want a mum/child relationship of my own.

Does that sound completely confusing? It does to me lol.
Now don't get me wrong, I've only been with my bf for 3 years and have quite a bit I want to do before I have to think about it seriously - but will I change? Did anyone else have this attiude and go on to actually like having a baby?
Or am I just a total weirdo....

xx

Valli

When I was 24 (and married BTW) I did NOT want a family at all.
At 31 I felt ready...and declared on my 32nd birthday I wanted to be a mum before I was 33.
DS put in a belated appearance - a full two weeks late - the day before my 33rd birthday.
Things don't always work out as you plan them -you might 'put it off' and never have it happen...but if you're not ready now maybe you should go with that feeling.
But you're not strange! (IMHO - lol)

Norma_Desmond

You're not strange at all! I've never wanted children, and now that I'm in my mid-30s I feel even more strongly that motherhood is not for me.
I love the independence and the freedom to do what I want, and I've got a lovely DH who feels the same, and great family and friends......I don't want anything more.
Above all, I just don't like kids!

mrcow

You have some very strange ideas on what it's like to have a baby!

It's actaully quite frightening lol.

Interested about the cream egg comment........can you elaborate?!

Jammygal

I don't think you are wierd.
You are young and obviously not ready for a baby yet. Live while you can and don't worry about it all.....I had my first baby at 28 and was ready but don't think I would have been at 24.
I worked , travelled, partied first and knew when I was ready....I am sure you will too....suddenly the baby hormones will either kick in or they won't but either way don't worry yourself over it all now

Sagz_2

Babies scare me witless but as I've never wanted children it isn't really a problem.

If you don't want a baby but do want a family, how about adopting an older child when you felt you were ready.

Barneysmom

I don't know who told you that about creme eggs but it's not true, you can eat chocolate if you want.

You don't want children now but you've got years ahead to think about that. Concentrate on your carer, and enjoy your life.

There's no rules, we're all different and what suits one person may not suit another xxx

fernliebee

Your obviously not ready for children yet! Either one day something will snap inside you and the negatives will pale into insignificance, or you will decide babies aren't for you. If so and you still really want children you could adopt older children, not an easy option, but the right one for some.

Maybe it's just because I can't relate (I love babies/children and have always wanted to be a mother, first and foremost!) but I do feel that unless you are ready to make sacrifices (not drinking/smoking in pregnancy) then your not fully prepared for the sacrifices (though I don't see them as sacrifices) of having a child. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I truly don't miss drinking/ smoking/ eating lot's of junk/ going out lot's etc... I love 99.9% of time spent with DD.

edit: I spent so long one handed typing, while feeding DD, everyone else had already said what I had to say! he he!

Barneysmom

I couldn't imagine how my life would have been without my 2 children.
They made my life mean something.

tattoed_bum

your not strange at all ,i never wanted to get married or have kids when i was your age ,there was so much more i wanted to do with my life .

i met my now dh when i was 29 ,we met married and had a child all within 18 months .things change that's the order of life .

you may feel differently in a couple of years

Silaqui

MrCow and Barneysmom, the cream egg thing was actually on here - think it was a throwaway comment by someone on an old thread I ws reading about someone whose OH had brought home a cream egg and she was annoyed at him because he knew she couldn't have one because she was pregnant... obv I don't know the full details but it just made me think, bloody hell not another thing!

My strange ideas are all based on what I have got from my own experience, other people, and just general stuff - nothing I have ever heard has ever made me think 'ah it'd be lovely to be pregnant/have a baby'.

It just makes me feel odd because I see so many other people around me who have kids or are pregnant and I can't even imagine what that would be like. Make me doubt myself and the way I feel because it seems like I should be feeling that way, IYSWIM?

In another way, I do want to do the whole parenting thing - I can see myself doing the bedtime stories, the parents evenings, that sort of thing - I just wish you could give birth to something that wasn't quite so useless as a baby! Like a giraffe or something, they are fully functional from a few hours ofter the birth, that'd suit me! (bit more painful though lol :rotfl: )

I guess I'll know when the time is right thanks for all the replies. Guess I'm just feeling a bit confuzzled because I don't seem to know anyone else who feels the same. Glad others seem to be able to see my point of view and some of the replies have been reassurring that I'm not actually a freak!

x