Journey into BR by Nervous Mother

nervousmother

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dreamcatcher73

Leave her to it NM, she's certainly not worth losing sleep over, as you say, you have plenty of other things to think about.

BR is not an easy option, every day I realise another way in which in may affect my life. We just have to get over these hurdles and live to fight on another day.

I have worked in accounts nearly all my adult life and if I was still working now I would feel exactly the same as you. The trouble is people are too quick to just look at the word bankrupt and not the person or the reasons behind it.

iquit

NM sorry to hear about 'friend' having her outburst!! Seems to me she is only a friend when your situation means she is one up on you. She must have been soooo disappointed that you've sorted your debt. A true friend supports you in hard times and rejoices in your triumphs. Only you know what it has cost you to go BR, and we're not just talking money!!

Merry_Gentry

Hiya NM

I think your friend is still under the general understanding that going bankrupt means you should lose something. A lot of people don't realise that you do suffer - even if you keep your house, your car, etc - you suffer through the indiginity, you are responsible to the OR for a year, your credit rating is affected. She is one of those people who wanted to see an outward sign that you have 'suffered'. Her ignorance probably wasn't meant to hurt you - she spoke without thinking. Also, she probably had herself all set to be a comfort to you, only to find that based on her understanding you don't need comfort and support.

Give her some time. Let her mull over what she said. And also give yourself some time. She may well have struck a chord within yourself that made you feel as though you should be suffering more, rather than feeling relieved and coping so well. A friendship that has lasted 15 years can be a good one. But take the time to step back and see whether perhaps you have outgrown each other.

Sending big ((((HUGS))))) cos when you are judged by someone you don't expect to be, it really really stings.

nervousmother

So today OH gets a phone call from the trustee, He was wanting to know what a £4k cheque was for that he paid to MIL last July.
I didnt even know this until today! Mil lent OH 4k in 2007 to pay a VAT bill for the old company, OH tells me it is clear as day in the companys books where it came from (showing as a loan a/c)
He tells me he paid it her back last year with some of the proceeds we got from the sale of one of our houses but the Trustee is showing interest in this payment, He has not questioned the payment we made at the same time to the inland revenue for tax, nor payments to other creditors. Surly he cant say it is prefferential treatment when he paid so many other creditors at the same time... do you think they will ask mil for it back? :eek:
No idea what is going to happen next, thought things had gone a little quiet, was feeling settled now this! all nervous again, If you have read the diary you will see there is no way we knew we were going BR until late last year...

Tobiwan_Kenobi

I would have thought it would be a bit off, to be honest, if you were still paying other creditors at the time where's the problem?

nervousmother

Well I finally got my letter today from Trustee stating he has no more interest in the family home! :j

OH did get a letter asking him to explain in writing about the money paid back to MIL last year, he does not seem worried by it, as mil has just emptied her bank account to buy the equity there is little chance of him getting it back from her..

Apart from that life is quiet. Work is still work.. lucky to have a job I guess, its very busy at work and the weeks fly by.. this whole BR thing is going quick, 4 months passed now life is getting back to normal.

Still money saving! my tomato plants are growing nice, Strawberrys are now flowering... not seen anything from the carrots yet though...
We have done lots of work in the garden and it looks lovely, looking foward to spending the summer out there.

We were hoping to go camping at the end of may but are struggling to find a camp site (we need electric hook up in tent) they are hard to come by..

I have had a extra £10 in my wage pack this month thanks to mr tax man putting up the personal allowance

Hope everything is well with everyone else

iquit

Great to hear from you NM. I'm glad things are moving along nicely for you, look forward to hearing from you again.

nervousmother

Well, life this week has gone very quickly, short staffed at work ment the days flew by!
We went out on Wednesday to the pictures (love orange wednesdays) I also went out last night as I had some free gig tickets, going out twice in one week though has stretched the budget even if I didnt spend much! Only had two drinks last night but still £6 I could have spent elsewhere.. oh well I wont be out for a while yet.

I have spent much of the day clearing out my youngest childs room, throwing away 4 bags of rubbish and broken toys! She was wanting a new bed as she has a high sleeper with metal legs and says she cant watch tv in bed! couldnt afford to get her a new one so OH has chopped the legs off!

We have heard from the Trustee during the week, OH had to write the letter stating why he paid the money to MIL, he seems to be happy receiving the letter and says he does not think it will be going further. I am glad about that, when he paid her the money back we had no idea what northern rock had instore.. He also said he was just tying up a few loose ends but as far as he is concerned he has finished his investigations!!! :beer: He says he will probably leave it to the 5 month mark then pass us back to the OR for early discharge, I dont know the process for us going back to the OR if they will just close the file or go through a income and expenditure questionaire, We have had no IPA from the trustee, his last comment about it was 'he didnt think on those figures we would get one' but could the OR re-assess??? I personally have had no questions from him, I dont know if he managed to get some bank statements.. I have noticed I didnt receive any in April from the old bank.. nothing on there though for me to worry about.

Apart from that life is quiet. Still feel like I am moving on, although I will be very happy when this is all over! Tonight I will be having a few vodkas as I have some left, will also watch a film i recorded during the week...

Hope everyone else is well and enjoy rest of the weekend

Merry_Gentry

Sounds as though things are tootling along for you mate. Sometimes this whole bankruptcy thing can feel like you are in limbo, but good news on potentially being put forward for ED :cheer: