Pregnant and Hubby doesnt love me

fitzilian19

Thanks for all the support guys... I havent been online much since Alfie arrived. apologies...

He's beautiful... so happy and peaceful. still got to write my birth story - throughout the 4 hours of intensive labour followed by 4 hours of pushing, his heartrate did not change, he was content to stay put after making my waters break early!


his father has been pretty much absent. spent an hour with him when his parents came to visit the afternoon i got home from hospital, then went on a pre-booked holiday for a week (the week his son was due to be born) and had a half hour visit yesterday.

in between i've had an email requesting that he take my son away from my house for his visits - when i said no, he text with comments like 'he's as much mine as yours' and 'i'll take you to court about it'


how he'll afford court, i dont know. he gave his job up, so umemployed from the day before Alfie was born, and has gone back to uni to re-do his final year, as he failed it first time. his mum mentioned he might go into teaching, which would mean another year at uni.

while he's studying he is not working. he's told me he isnt going to be paying the mortgage or any maintenence for Alfie while he is studying.



i registered Alf this morning, with my surname rather than his father's. my name change by deed poll came in the post the morning my waters broke, so just in the nick of time. i dedcided it would be better for Alf in the long run to have the name of the parent who loves him and provides for him.

it should also make applying for benefits easier... i've had to apply for income support now my ex has decided he wont provide anything at all...




Alfie is the best thing that ever happened to me. makes me realise that all this struggle and heartache has been worth it. Alf is perfect, if a little noisey between 2-5am! he's happy to cuddle up to anyone who offers (except his father and paternal grandmother for some reason?!?!)

he's feeding well and sleeps well, except for those night hours..


mum has been a huge support... she has to go back to work on tuesday and i'm dreading being left completely on my own... sure it'll be fine, but it's a little daunting... shes been up with him overnight so i can sleep and keep my energy levels up and well enough to feed him enough... he loves his nanny cuddles... :-)


thanks again for reading my story and for all your support... this has been the best place for me to vent and get other people's opinions - other than my close family and friends...

Money_maker

Well Done :T:T:j:j:j

Congratulations on little Alfies arrival.

Boo, hiss to your ex. Can take Alfie on trips out when he learns to breastfeed!!

First few weeks take a little while to settle. Dont worry, when Mum goes you will be absolutely fine. The nurturing hormones kick in and you will instinctively know what to do.

My tip - sleep when he does, everytime he does. Everything else can wait.

So pleased for you, you can overcome anything and now is the start of the rest of your life. Hugs to you both xx

Edit - Just seen the Facebook piccies - he's GORGEOUS

harley1

Fitz, congratulations again.

I would like to thank you for sharing your experience. For as much as it has helped you to chat on here it has helped me to read your story. You are a true inspiration and it is very reassuring that us single mums can and will do a great job.

Hopefully I'll be joining you on the parenting thread in a couple of weeks when I look forward to hearing all about baby Alfies progress.

Huge hugs to you both.

xxxxx

Katyag

Thanks for updating us, you sound like you are doing a wonderful job! Enjoy him, they grow up all too quickly!

Mely

What a beautiful baby boy - congratulations Fitz! xxxx
Dont worry about when your mum has to go back to work. Believe me it all comes naturally, and you will be fine! Id like to second what another poster has said....you need to sleep when the baby sleeps. Get as much sleep as you can and dont go rushing around tidying up etc. at this time.Believe me if you do, it catches up with you, lol!
I think you have done the right thing with the name change too.
Lots of love and God bless you both, Mel xxXxx

fitzilian19

having mum around has been a huge help... i've not done anything except feed Alfie and change his nappy (unless it really stinks!)

it's also really helped us bond... shes my best friend and has been the best support to me throughout this whole big mess!

consultant31

He's just gorgeous.

Take every minute and imprint it on your memory. Keep a diary and write absolutely everything down. My one regret with my children is that we couln't afford a video camera so that I could remember their voices and the way they waddled

It won't be two minutes before he's off to school and two minutes after that he'll be leaving home :eek:

morocha

Congratulations !!! you are doing so well xx

Thriftysaver

Hi Fitz,

Congratulations on the birth of little Alfie. I won't say too much about !!!!!!. You don't need him anyway. You'll be fine. Enjoy being a mum.

Take care

Thriftysaver

imnewatthis

hi,
just wanted to say i just read your story and was deeply moved, you are a strong woman and im sure a good mum.
i am on my own with 5 children and divorced, life is hard but if you have a good support system and sence of humour helps we are ok.
my heart goes out to you and your baby im sure he is beautiful...
jeanette.