I'm back (VERY SCARED) debt free diary

kelie

Yeah mum and dad have stayed there rent free. There is no mortgage on it anymore. There isnt a formal tenancy agreement either though so mum doesn't have any rights. We are booked in to see a solicitor on Thursday.

TheBex

If there's no agreement then isn't it quite likely your Mum could have squatter's rights? I know it's not good to be getting all legal on one's family, but since your sister is being so unhelpful, perhaps someone should at least point out to her any rights your Mum does have?

Your ex is lame. He'll sell at a loss, but not to you? Jokes. No wonder you broke up with him. Can you not get him to agree to take market rates and then have the house valued? Or maybe just ask an estate agent first....

Work is sounding good though, very glad to hear it.

Your OH's job hunt is probably a bit on the lazy side (to give him the benefit of the doubt....) but I just thought, since you aren't kicking him out, I should try to help. I too have no job. It's been 5 months, 200 applications (all to jobs I could definitey do), two interviews and 200 rejections. It really makes me very depressed, and I have days when I start drinking with my lunch. If I come up with any actual helpful suggestions on this front I shall share them here, but I just wanted you to know that while he clearly isn't trying hard enough, he might be trying. Also, he might think he is trying hard enough, but you can tell him how hard he should be trying.

Hope I didn't get too rambly there, because it's your diary, but I hoped it might help.

kelie

Oh god 200 applications!?!?! I feel for you I really do, unfortunately unless things pick up big time I will be joining the job seeking front!

I had an email from my ex, he wants £25k lmao I told him the house would get repossessed before he walked away with that kinda money.

TheBex

Yep, 200 *sighs* and all for jobs I could definitely do, about half are way below my skills... pretty rubbish.

25K? I thought there was no equity there? Is he trying to get you to cover the hit he's taken because of the drop in prices? What a JOKER!! Good work telling him no. I'm sorry to hear that though, it's just another thing that you could very clearly do without.

Very late, stupid other peoples birthdays making me stay up past bed time... But I didn't want to read and run.

cocalls

good luck w/ the solicitor on thurs he might come up w/ some useful suggestions, haa your mum offered something to show what she can pay? id also contact CAB aswell re applying for housing benefit (by the way just being nosy here you say shes your half sis is she your dads daughtr or mums?)

BLUEWKD

Hi Kellie.
I started reading your story just before I was goint to bed and that was 2 hours ago!!! I don't know if you feel it yourself, but you do sound a bit stronger and better in yourself now than from your first post. Have you read from the beginning, it might be good for you to actually read all that you have said and advice you have been given in one go, a bit like reading your diary. You have been given some great advice. I noticed you shop at Tesco and thought the coupon thread (link below) might be good for you. You can get shopping for virtually nothing (but don't let OH use em for beer) as long as your local tesco has a good coupon policy. I just go once a day and get £5 worth of shopping for around 50p:j (others get around £30/40 for pennies). Also they have a good friendly crowd on there (not that there isn't on here).
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1625199

kelie

Hi guys,

My half sister is dad's daughter, she had a different mum. Which I guess contributes towards the current situation although she did promise my dad before he died that my mum could stay put as long as she wanted to.

Quite angry with my ex. I upped my offer to a maximum of 15k and he came back with i'll meet you half way then at 20k, thats still over the market value. I also have the problem that the mortgage company are saying the house is only worth 140k, so the loan ratio would be too high for me to take on by myself hence where my darling mum comes in. She says she isnt giving my ex any more money as he's a pain in the a** and he's having a laugh thinking he will recoup all his deposit.

I am also frustrated because mortgage company were happy for me to change to interest only mortgage for a while, to help with lowering payments and my ex put a stop to it. Even though it would benefit him too if we sell as I refused to pay all the mortgage if it was being sold. I went to the local housing authority, because no kids are involved they won't have a duty to rehome me if I become homeless. This is scary really, as I may have a period of time where I don't have anywhere if the house is sold. Same goes for my mum really.

Thank you for the coupon thread bluewkd I have been trying to shop in lidl's more recently, although there are certain things you can't get in there. Somerfield hasn't been too bad with their deals on meat either. My OH is making me a lovely spag bol later tonight which I am really looking forward to.

I do feel a bit stronger now, although I am very scared with the housing situation. I have been working so hard to try and up the income, and pay off my overdraft. My best friend offered to take a loan out for the other £8500 to pay off the ex, and she'd move in too and the repayments on the loan would be her contribution towards the rent until its paid off. She is a gem, bless her but it's all getting a bit too messy. Part of me last night thought stuff it I will sell the house and rent a studio flat somewhere on my own and get away from OH, and everything else, but that's running away and I do have my gorgeous kitten to think about. He's coming with me whereever I go. I'm slightly annoyed as OH's parents have gone abroad for 2 months, so their house is sitting empty. I know they would let me stay there if it came to it, as I feed the cat anyway, but OH thinks its a bad idea. Well it might come to either that or having no where to go. Last night he was complaining about pains where his liver is and said he was going to have to stop drinking or he would kill himself. He's right.

How do I feel today? Bit downhearted. Want to punch my ex in the face, and my OH for being unsupportive. Want to give my mum a big hug, and tell her everythings going to be okay even though I don't honestly know!! Trying to get hold of halifax to pleade with them to lend the additional borrowing, but am very frightened I might end up bankrupt anyway. Mum has to sell all her furniture, which would technically help out money wise but she can't believe after working 12 hour alternate shifts to get where she is, and to have a mortgage free bungalow, to having nothing, at her age. I fully understand her as well.

Wordsmith

Hi, Kelie. How are things with you?

kelie

Well, I have an appointment with the solicitor tomorrow morning to get an agreement drawn up that if my mortgage application is accepted my mum will put in the extra capital and buy out the ex boyfriend. Then I am phoning the mortgage guy at Halifax who seems a bit slow and lazy to me, but hey ho. So fingers crossed I will get accepted and get rid of all ties to the ex. Also the repayments on the mortgage, although stuck in fixed rate until December this year, will be reduced as the mortgage will go down from £117k to £94,500 so thats good, and mum will be contributing towards the mortgage/bills each month to take the pressure off me.

In other news, I finished the £600 web design job, have been paid half already and the other half is coming tomorrow. I also did a few bits and pieces for a client for £90 ish which has already been paid. I am nearly ready to launch the £300 job which will be paid soon and I got a new client yesterday for £650. So am quite happy with that.

I am still owed money from a few people I have chased them up, nothing so far. Which is a bit worrying, since they are american companies and are using the work I did for them. Also, with Avon I was going to quit, but I managed to make a team sales target of £950 ish, so I get my £80 fast track bonus, and 5% of that sales figure, along with my normal 25% commission on anything I sell. I get so nervous doing it though. I have 2 new reps to sign up today and one tomorrow but unless I get any calls I won't be doing any avon next week apart from delivering my books / collecting and placing the order for the next campaign. I need to try and hit £148 sales target at least.

My mum is a little less stressed than before, she's getting excited about what plants / pots she can bring and how we can decorate the house, bless her. Thankfully her taste is very similar to mine. The OH went to the alcohol project meeting, his first one, but then 2 days later drank again. He said he isn't going to be able to just give it up like that. The weekend before his meeting (bank holiday weekend) he had a massive binge, and intimidated me a bit saturday night. I managed to keep him in from the pubs friday and saturday but only saturday if he could have the box office hatton fight ordered. More expensive, but cheaper than pub I guess. Anyway he drank so much straight through till Sunday, that by 9pm Sunday evening he passed out on the sofa, and stayed there until 11am the next morning. It's not really any kind of life, and I don't want things to be like this for the rest of mine. I want a family, I want a purpose and right now I don't feel like I have one.

I have good days and bad days, I am worried my mortgage app will be declined because of my credit cards I have, and I can't pay them off yet. I'm making minimum payments but as soon as the mortgage is accepted I was going back to the CAB to get them to write and do a deal with my cards, but the lady advised me to do it AFTER I get the mortgage which I understand.

Today was going to be a good day, until OH complained I hadn't cleaned the kitchen yet, that I hadn't taken the rubbish bag outside, and that I had left clothes in the living room. I argued that well actually I am earning money, and I have to go to Cardiff to do some signups, and he laughed and said that it was pointless. I told him yesterday I was taking him back to his mums to live (they are on holiday for 2 months), but because his mum gave me £300 before she left to go towards bills, he thinks its his money and said if I take him back he wants the full amount (some of which has already been spent on food and drink).

lunar

Kelie, I read through you diary the other day before I went for my surgery and wanted to post but couldnt find it again. you seem like such a lovely person and you are just getting trampled on. you cant save your partner from the road he is going down, if you carry on he will just drag you there with him.

If anyone should be supporting him its his parents and they seem to know what is going on and are ignoring things. drop him and his thing at his mums and change your locks. you are cleaver and hard working and he is just dragging you down. I was so happy when i saw the post that he had left and so upset that you let him come back.

You can do loads better than him, think how quickly you debt would be gone if he wasnt draining so much from you.

me and some of our fellow debt free wannabees may have to band together and kidnap you and your cat for your own good. Take care of yourself, your posts just seem unhappier as you thred progresses.