I'm back (VERY SCARED) debt free diary

mogchops

Hi Kelie, its good to see you sounding more positive, I am following your journey and sending you good wishes. Well done on the "to do" List, its a great feeling when you can tick everything off!!

kelie

Thanks mog I havent got that many ticked off for today yet but the night is still young. Plus bit chuffed as I collected in my avon books, and I had another order from a neighbour for £26.40 - and only 2 houses asked for no more books. So thats much better than last time. Still got 3 outstanding books which i'll try and collect later

kelie

Just had a bollocking for leaving an avon book even though I put a tick box on the front asking if they dont want any future books, please tick here and I won't deliver to you He was really abrupt and mean. I know im not supposed to take it personally, but never been in sales before so not used to this at all. He could have been polite

epsilondraconis

kelie wrote: »

Just had a bollocking for leaving an avon book even though I put a tick box on the front asking if they dont want any future books, please tick here and I won't deliver to you He was really abrupt and mean. I know im not supposed to take it personally, but never been in sales before so not used to this at all. He could have been polite

Best thing to do is forget it.

There could be a whole host of reasons why he reacted the way he did - none of them make it right - sometimes these things happen.

This is one of those occasions where you should think to yourself, I'm not going to let that guy affect me. Think of it as a little test to see how strong you are at the moment.

Chin up, chest out (so to speak ) and away you go again.

kindofagilr

You really need to ditch the OH

I am sorry but he just doesnt seem to want to mend his ways, just think how much better off you would be, your friend would move in with you (and I am sure the dog and kitten will get along great lol) and you could make a good dent into your debts.

I dont want to sound harsh, but he really is a drain on you, and he has it pretty easy being there where you are paying for everything, if he loves you like you love him, he will change his ways and come back to you

Silaqui

Hi Kelie, only just found your thread but thought I'd say hello and well done for getting yourself sorted out. And I'm so jealous you have a kitten, I love cats but can't have one in rented accom.

How's your b/f getting on? And the job hunting? With regards to what you said earlier about him being a 'not my mortage' kinda guy. Even if he doesn't contribute towards the mortgage, he is living there and so should be contributing at least half towards everything else, possibly more with things that you have purely for his benefit like Setanta.
Glad you have told him you will cancel if he does not contribute. Surely even if he does need the sports info for his website, you have internet access he can get the info he needs from there.

Glad you are starting to put your foot down. My b/f was out of work last year for quite a while (none of the alcohol/gambling stuff though). At first I didn't really push for him to get a job as he was applying himself, but after a while I think he clicked on and the applications seemed to dry up - not surprisingly as he was getting everything for nothing! He was on JSA but using it to pay off his own debt, and was always the first to suggest takeaways/cinema/shopping even though he had no cash of his own!
Eventually I put my foot down and told him that if he had no way of contributing he would have to go back to his mums and stay with her.

Oh and ignore the pathetic rude people. Some people just overreact, I mean COME ON it's only a bloody book on your doorstep. He'll get over it.

Best of luck with everything
x

kelie

You really need to ditch the OH

I am sorry but he just doesnt seem to want to mend his ways, just think how much better off you would be, your friend would move in with you (and I am sure the dog and kitten will get along great lol) and you could make a good dent into your debts.

I dont want to sound harsh, but he really is a drain on you, and he has it pretty easy being there where you are paying for everything, if he loves you like you love him, he will change his ways and come back to you

I really do understand why you think he should go. I think it myself on occasion. I am very happy to say though that he is now on day 3 of no alcohol. I've never seen him go this long without it before! He phoned the local alcohol support group and they've asked him to phone back tomorrow as they are changing who are providing the support for this area. I have told him he has one "strike" left and that he needs to show to me that he is making an effort job wise and drinking wise for him to stay here. I know there is a high probability that he won't change though so am trying to prepare myself. My best friend and I get on great, it would help me numerous ways if she did move in and not just financially. I would need to pop her to the bus/train station every weekday at 7:15am so it would sort out my awful sleep and work routine. That would be a bonus. If he moves out, i will definately ask her to move in.

kelie

Hi Kelie, only just found your thread but thought I'd say hello and well done for getting yourself sorted out. And I'm so jealous you have a kitten, I love cats but can't have one in rented accom.

I am so in love with Bailey (my kitten) he is a little terror though a bit too big for his own boots. One minute he can be so sweet and affectionate, then the next he's scratching and biting - im sure its play fighting though. I thought I would post a pic for you to see him He is 4 months old now...

How's your b/f getting on? And the job hunting? With regards to what you said earlier about him being a 'not my mortage' kinda guy. Even if he doesn't contribute towards the mortgage, he is living there and so should be contributing at least half towards everything else, possibly more with things that you have purely for his benefit like Setanta.

I reckon that he definately needs to be contributing for food (he eats like a horse!!), sky and sentanta, and probably some towards heating/electricity/internet. I think once he does get a job I will sit down with him and we'll work out a figure he needs to give me per month. I'm not expecting half of everything (unless of course he gets a decent full time job) but even 1/3 would take the pressure off me for a bit.

He was on JSA but using it to pay off his own debt, and was always the first to suggest takeaways/cinema/shopping even though he had no cash of his own!
Eventually I put my foot down and told him that if he had no way of contributing he would have to go back to his mums and stay with her.

I guess if they are fed, watered and have a roof over their head they won't really make an effort. I've been far too soft for the past year. Time to stop!! I will be getting on the job centre site tomorrow and printing out jobs that i think he could do - he signed on the avon dotted line yesterday so he will have some territory which we could do both of ours together to make sure he is actually posting them through doors!!

Thank you for your message. I really appreciate everyones reply. It makes me feel a lot more positive when I have people behind me

kelie

• [STRIKE]Take car to get mirror fixed (The guy charged me £10 but got brake light fixed too, excellent!!)[/STRIKE]
• Finish of design proof for M. - to continue tomorrow
• Continue working on website templates for D. - to continue tomorrow
• Invoice S £180. - !!!!!! i should have done this today!!!
• Check up on money owed by C.
• Contact SJ Avon Guy about my new sales leader.
• [strike]Phone Mary Re Rep Appointment[/strike]
• [strike]Collect in Avon Brochures (not looking forward to this bit!)[/strike]
• [strike]Parcel up and post 2 amazon marketplace orders.[/strike]
• Find US checks and send them off.
• Find £60 cheque and take to the bank tomorrow.
• [strike]Have a no spend day apart from fixing the car! (£9.97 in somerfield on curry ingrediants grrr)[/strike]
• Check if Seb paid me for business card design.
• Take my mum over to my uncle's (either tuesday or friday)
• Hoover bedroom / upstairs hallway and change bedcovers
• Think of domain name for business card design / print service and purchase.

This will be my to do list for tomorrow and i'm sure i will have bucket loads to add too!!!

Seaxwyn

HI Kelie

I'm glad that you are sounding very positive and decisive. It's great that your boyfriend has managed 3 days without drinking, but I'm very glad to see that he is on his last 'strike'.

Well done on the Avon order but I hope you are not neglecting your design work in favour of things like Avon and Amazon. That's something I am guilty of - using lower earning things as a displacement activity while failing to do potentially more lucrative 'real' work.

Good luck with it - we are all rooting for you!