Weekly Flylady Thread 16th March 2009

rach

soappie - chicken. it looks and smells divine and was a massive (almost 3kg) in the M&S deal so should last us ages! It really annoys me when kids just expect their parents to bail (sp?) them out time and time again...I think your friend just needs to stand firm, the more she doles out the more they will expect...sadly. Just my opinion though.

emily - ditto re the smear test. I was so keen I went 12 months too early!!

kazwookie

Soappie

How old are the children?

I suggest your friends says no and means no to loaning /giving the children money.

Can the children not go and get weekend jobs, if the right age to do so?

Sounds like the parents are a soft touch, all kids go off in a huff when told no.

ZCC72

Quillion wrote: »

I have posted this on another board but not had any replies and i was hoping one of you fantastic ladies or gents can shed me a little light.

As you all know I am in an affected pool of this round or redundancies and as i work part time i think it wil be me.
Our company don't do the finish friday get your redundancy money, they pay you this over three months on garden leave then give you whats left after the garden leave is up. You can be made to work the three months.
If i were to get another job in the mean time the payments would then stop.

Does anyone else's work do this?

Very confused due to lack of sleep worrying about job money bills etc.

But at least i have a nice clean house if i have to sell it :eek: :eek: :eek:

Don't know if anyone else has replied to this yet-stillcatching up!!

Basically, if you are made redundant, and you are not required to work your notice period but instead are on "garden leave" then the company is required to pay you ALL of your notice period (3 months, in your case?) irrespective of whether you get another job in that time. HOWEVER, if you are required to work your notice and choose to leave during this time, then they wouldNOT be required to pay the full amount, as it would be you breaking the contract, not them.

If you do go on Garden Leave, then the payment should be made on your last day, not drip drip over usual salary dates. If paid over usualsalary dates, then for all intents and purposes you would still be employed! Receipt of monthly payments may alsohave an impact upon any benefits to which you may be entitled.

Hope this makes sense - pm me if you need further info.....

ETA: Phew, finally caught up. Desperate for a pee now :rotfl: .....

Rach, thanks for the offer of advice re walking! I started off on what should have been a 3 mile walk, testing instructions in a new local book.

They were wrong.....I got sent down a bridleway that got soooo muddy and boggy, I was in it to my shins (and the "it" wasn't pleasant, probably had a sh in front.....) and worried I'd fall in face-first!! Then, the instructions didn't tell me to go over a stile and up through woodland - it told me to carry on through fields by a river. This was a dead end, and I had to walk another mile back!! :mad: I was not a happy bunny, but I definately earned my fish and chips

Gratefulforhelp - hope you got your essay finished!!

I know there are lots of others - hugs to all - but really, really desperate now!!

'laters,

soappie

Kaz and Rach - thanks. That's the problem, BFUR has stood firm. So the kids are whinging and not speaking to her and then when they do saying she's a dreadful mother. They are in their thirties :eek:

She is standing firm - she has to. She's already lent them money which they are supposed to be paying back but both have not paid as they should so her own income is spent servicing the debt.

I so want to just go round and slap the two kids' heads together and tell them to grow up but I can't. The third child is brilliant and is standing up for Mum and Dad against the siblings.

Trouble is, she has a big house, mortgage was paid off, but remortgaged to help the kids out so they think she should sell - or swap "You and Dad live here, we'll have the house - the mortgage is cheaper" or something like that. They have no idea! She now feels she's the wicked witch of the north when she's not.

greenbee

My mother did the ironing ... while I did applied for my 2008/09 ISA and my 2009 sharesave scheme. She is now repolishing the utility room floor, as apparently I didn't do it properly... I've decided that the best reaction to this is to just let her get on with it, although why she even lets me try in the first place is beyond me!

Rach (and anyone else!)... I'm hoping you can help as I need to find ideas for a reading for my brother's wedding. They want it to be religious, but are looking for something a little different. They'd like it to be something that emphasises the importance of friendship within marriage. Any suggestions gratefully received!

Off to check up on my mother and make a start on supper and packing up for tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be in properly for next week. Catch up with you later...

ETA - soappie - that's awful. I don't understand how kids can treat their parents like that. :mad: Tell her to make sure she spends the lot - she and hubby need to start going on holidays & generally living it up - as she can't take it with her and her kids sure don't deserve it. It's her money, she and her husband earned it and the kids should sod off and earn their own! :mad: sorry... rant over now

kazwookie

The kids are in their 30's.......................... in that case, tell them to grow up, go get a bank loan or similar.

Blimey I stood on my own 2 feet from the age of 16, my mother had nothing to loan us in the sense of money.

It sounds like your friend has been used as a door mat by the kids, tell her to stick to her ground.

Bang the 30's year olds heads together.

gratefulforhelp_2

ZCC72 wrote: »

Gratefulforhelp - hope you got your essay finished!!

thanks very much, ZCC72, yes I emailed it in this morning with my fingers crossed. one down. two to go! Cheers very much for your help.

soappie

greenbee wrote: »

. :mad: Tell her to make sure she spends the lot - she and hubby need to start going on holidays & generally living it up - as she can't take it with her and her kids sure don't deserve it. It's her money, she and her husband earned it and the kids should sod off and earn their own! :mad: sorry... rant over now

kazwookie wrote:

The kids are in their 30's.......................... in that case, tell them to grow up, go get a bank loan or similar. It sounds like your friend has been used as a door mat by the kids, tell her to stick to her ground. Bang the 30's year olds heads together.

Thankyou both. That's exactly how I feel. BFUP is being strong but just needs to offload sometimes so she did to me tonight. And I've offloaded to you lot!

ETA. We both know that if her and hubby do sell, the two kids will be like carrion crow around a fresh road kill - trying to pick at the money they get!

Thankyou for being there!

gratefulforhelp_2

greenbee wrote: »

Rach (and anyone else!)... I'm hoping you can help as I need to find ideas for a reading for my brother's wedding. They want it to be religious, but are looking for something a little different. They'd like it to be something that emphasises the importance of friendship within marriage. Any suggestions gratefully received!

From the Book of Ecclesiastes 4:7-11
(Better together than alone)
Again, I saw vanity under the sun: it is the case for solitary individuals, without children or kindred; yet there is no end to all their toil, and their eyes are never satisfied with riches. “For whom am I toiling," they ask, “and depriving myself of pleasure?" This also is vanity and chasing the wind.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help.
Again, if two shall sleep together, they keep each other warm; but how can one keep warm alone? And though one might prevail against another, two will prevail against one.


Just a thought, not sure if you want the old language or the new. Prefer the beauty of the old myself, but not everyone does.

Wishing them a harmonious run up to the wedding!

p.s. you know if it is isn't in church, they can only have secular readings and music?

in which case, try "the owl and the !!!!! cat!!!" it won't let me write !!!!! how puritan!

kazwookie

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

.
p.s. you know if it is isn't in church, they can only have secular readings and music?

Do you know why that is? and who sorts out what is classed as a church?

and I never knew that.