how can we compromise? i want traditional he wants minimal.

Minxy_Bella

Seriously, OP - I would advise you to think very carefully about why exactly you want to spend the rest of your life with this man.

If he is being stroppy about the most important day of your life so far (and he is being extremely childish in some of the things you're telling us he's saying), then how will he cope if you have children. Or one of you loses a job. Or gets sick. Etc.

This is supposed to be the golden time, when you're newly in love and excited about the future and sharing each other's dreams about how your lives are going to be shaped and he's, quite frankly, spoiling it for you.

I know you say you love him and I'm sure you do - just take a bit of advice from an old bird who married an eccentric, very selfish maverick - try to identify if you love the man he is now or you are loving the man that you want him to be. What does he do for you? How does he make your life better? Are you afraid of being without him out of habit? What do your friends and family think about him - honestly?

I wish I had asked myself those questions before charging headlong into my first marriage - instead, I girded my loins and 'attacked' anyone who dared to criticise my loopy first husband as I knew he really loved me, even though he treated me like scum.

I was a fool.

If he loves you, and is good husband/father material, he will do anything and everything in his power to make you FEEL loved and appreciated.

TBH I think your fella sounds very immature - he may well grow right up when he realises how upset you are about his behaviour, but, honey, I wouldn't bet on it.

I hope I'm wrong and that you two have a good old talk to clear the air and that you work out a compromise that you are both happy with. Just remember - the wedding day is not the prize or the end of the story. You've got 50 odd years to resent him if he plays up though!

xxxx

kayleigh_b69

i like you had to compromise for my wedding - i wanted a church an lovely reception my fiance just wanted an all in one place (he is in no way religous but i always dreamed of a church wedding). After looking at a few all in one places he could see my heart wasnt in it so he agreed to look at the church i wanted so i said if he agreed i would let him have final say on reception venue.

Luckly for me he liked the church an agreed we could get married there as he said my face lit up as i was showing him around lol an also lucky me i loved the reception venue he picked (i think now i love it more than he does)

People are right marriage is about compromise but i also think that a relationship before marriage is as well.

I like you plan on gettin married in 2011 i have been with my b/f for 6 years this year an just engaged for a year - hopefully it will work out for you both just work on a nice compromise

shelovestobuystuff

What sort of trainers is he planning on wearing?I have seen wedding pics of guys in converse and they dont look too bad.scroll down this forum chat in the link to the piccie
http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/index.php/chatroom/topic/69477

It sound like maybe he isnt religious and doesnt want the whole church wedding thing.If he is okay to go with the church wedding which is your request then I would say allow him some things he wants too.
Split the stuff to be organised.
If you plan the food let him plan the cake or vice versa.If you plan the decorations do it with his black and white colour scheme.
If he wants an all in one venue and you want a seperate ceremony and reception then let him choose which cars to use.
If you choose the ceremony music let him do the reception music.
If you choose the flowers let him do lighting or favours or something.
Hope that helps a bit.I have found that by just dividing up the stuff to be planned it is less stressful for me and it means you truly get a wedding for both of you.

prettypoppyknickers

hello all

thought i'd give you a nice update

we sat down on saturday night and spoke about what we did and didn't want and there happened to be a wedding fayre on 5 minutes away from us on the beach so we decided to go and have a look and talk to the experts hehe.

he explained that he would like black and white and also to have checked thrown in and when we sat down and spoke we decided that we would have black and cream but maybe white although my headpiece is more of cream/off white (when i work out how to upload i will show you what i mean) with purple and silver cutlery and that although he loved the checked idea he decided last night that it wouldn't fit any were so instead we shall have dragonfly items for favours and in the goldfish bowl centre pieces.

i have compromised with the fact that he can wear brand new slip on vans at the reception if i can wear my head piece for the service. he agreed!

we have a son and i lost my job in december so thats two things stressful already happened lol.

thank you for you kind words of advice and please continue to add

nat82

I'm glad you've both sat down and had a chat about it all. Like you say weddings are stressful enough without throwing in kids and job losses!

Well done to you both for getting it sorted! I bet you both feel better about it all now.

nat

x x x

prettypoppyknickers

i do i'm all excited again :j

shelovestobuystuff

Well done on compromising!I am really glad you are both going to get bits you want in the wedding.

prettypoppyknickers

is now to early to start looking though?

i'm looking for the dragon fly bits now because i am fussy with my dragonflys as they will be what represent my grandads spirit as he sadly passed away before i had my son and got engaged so that is my comfort for the day.

but how in advance should i look at things?

thank you in advance

prettypoppyknickers

8/prettypoppyknickers/DSC01501.jpg

prettypoppyknickers

o that came out a bit big but there is the hat:)