Would you pay for the child's coat?

bestpud

This was just rough play and I would not pay, and neither would I expect another parent to pay if my child's coat was damaged.

It is up to the parents whether or not they buy expensive coats, but that said, it is a school and with the best will in the world, things get lost and/or damaged. The higher the price of the item, the higher the risk (of any damage/loss - not just that caused by another person), and that risk has to be assessed by every parent when they choose their child's clothing.

However, a lot of 'expensive' clothes will actually have been bought for a fraction of their RRP!! This £55 coat could have cost her £20 in an end of line sale/shop! How would you know, unless they can produce a receipt?

I am all for children being responsible for their actions, but I feel £10 is way to much for him to cough up - jeez, they were only messing about! If he'd deliberately grabbed the boy, with the intention of hurting him, then fair enough, but that isn't the case at all.

However I look at it, this is one time where I would not expect the child to pay. Apologise, yes, but not pay £10!

Personally I think the lesson he is learning is: give some people an inch and they will take a mile!

ooobedoo

DS had a school coat he managed to have ripped off by another boy, I was gutted!

Jet

Apprarently the other child is going to pay the £27.50 meaning that my son and I are going to look like the "baddies".

The boy with the coat is going round telling everyone not to play with my son and his friend because they rip coats. He has told my son that he HAS to pay the full amount and will be MADE to pay it and I have had to re-assure my son that the matter is dealt with and that's the end of that for him. Any more come back and I will deal with it.

The lesson I hope to teach him is that he must be careful with other peoples property and there are consequences if he does not do so, even when it is accidental. I am not however, bowing down and giving into her demands based on what she thinks happened. She was not there, and neither was I or the other Mother.

I hope the letter does the trick but I have a feeling I might have to involve the school again if this boy carries on like he has done today. :rolleyes:

aliasojo

Sound like it's a case of Mother like Son. :rolleyes:

I'd be on to the school so that they are aware of the situation and they can keep an eye on things. This lad sounds like he's not the nicest of kids.

Have you discussed this with the other boy's Mum? (The one who's going to pay).

Poppy9

OMG this is terrible. The boy is obviously being fed by the mother. I would speak to class teacher tomorrow morning to nip it in the bud as this is not acceptable. The other mother must be made paying £27.

Given todays event I wouldn't pay a penny now!:p

allIcouldwishfor

I wouldn't mind betting she's told the other mother that you are going to pay. Sounds like she's trying to get her kid new clothes for free!!

splishsplash

It seems to have been a simple case of rough and tumble inthe playground.

By offering the letter, it suggests your son has something to apologise for.

He doesn't.

He is a child, and this is what happens when boys play together... the other mother is really pushing it, and the third mother is mad to pay £27.50 - what on earth is she thinking???

If it was a case of bullying, ganging up on a child or someone losing control and attacking another child, it would be different.

What message are you trying to give your child? If his stuff gets damaged, he must put up with it, because you wouldn't ask another parent to stump up for the damage, but if he damages another child's property, he must pay for it - i.e. other children are more important than him? Not fair, your job is to put him first.

I wouldn't pay, and I wouldn't send a letter.

ETA: I would also get in touch with the mother who plans to pay to let her my reaction. She may be feeling pressured into paying.

toshkininny

well, the other mother is being a bit silly not talking to you first and agreeing what you are both going to do - if that is the case.

rosie-marie

Ok. Whats the worse thing that would happen if you just refused to pay anything and completely ignored her? She isn't going to sue you. The worst thing would be a bit of grumbling and tittle tattling to other parents who most likely have got her sussed anyway. Its up to you but I wouldn't waste another moment even thinking about it. If the incident was malicious the teachers would know about it because there would have been a playground full of wittnesses surely. Be confident

lostinrates

Jet wrote: »

Apprarently the other child is going to pay the £27.50 meaning that my son and I are going to look like the "baddies".

The boy with the coat is going round telling everyone not to play with my son and his friend because they rip coats. He has told my son that he HAS to pay the full amount and will be MADE to pay it and I have had to re-assure my son that the matter is dealt with and that's the end of that for him. Any more come back and I will deal with it.

The lesson I hope to teach him is that he must be careful with other peoples property and there are consequences if he does not do so, even when it is accidental. I am not however, bowing down and giving into her demands based on what she thinks happened. She was not there, and neither was I or the other Mother.

I hope the letter does the trick but I have a feeling I might have to involve the school again if this boy carries on like he has done today. :rolleyes:

Well, I commend you for seeing your son's education as of primary importance, it sounds like you are handling this very well.

Now, to the expense thing. As I pointed out before, your children are precious, more precious than this silly coat. The teachers do now need to be made aware that while you are doing your best to make sore the silly coat is fixed and your son understands the value of property, you need help to make sure that your son is not 'damaged' by the behavious of the other boy. They do not sound like a charming family and my guess is the other children will do what children do, and after the turmoil kids will play with who they want to play with.

It might be a diplomatic time for your son to invite a wider group of boys over to watch a video and eat pizza if you can stand it, at the weekend?