Would you pay for the child's coat?

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

Jet wrote: »

Indeed this is the woman who told me to sue the school when my son needed stitches in his lip when he fell off the school climbing frame.

My son has had a number of rips in coats, trousers etc. and I have never demanded money from anyone and I am far less well off than this woman who lives a very comfortable life. Not that that should matter but she knows mine and the other parents circumstances. If I was her, i would ask for an apology and not demand money that as far as she is concerned will mean my son and I won't eat this week!

Maybe she is actually up to her neck in debt, what goes on behind closed doors etc. As for the coat I would send a token payment or offer to have it repaired if it can be, but £55 for a child's school coat she must be living on another planet. Don't feel obligated because of her attitude towards you or the school over this or anything else. She probably needs a reality check She really doesn't sound like a nice person at all and as a friend you're well shut of her.

toshkininny

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

The thing that gobsmacks me the most is that people think dragging another child around the playground is OK because they are all boys. No wonder that children don't know how to behave!

what, so you are saying this sort of behaviour is a modern thing, and that it didn't happen in playgrounds years ago?

No, it isn't good good behaviour, and maybe the school should have done something about it too. Not the parenents having to make a decision on hearsay.

splishsplash

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

The thing that gobsmacks me the most is that people think dragging another child around the playground is OK because they are all boys. No wonder that children don't know how to behave!

If the boy with the ripped coat was upset or traumatized by the incident, I'm guessing the coat would be the last thing on his mother's mind.

The school contacted the OP about paying for the coat only - not to complain about the rough play.

If I was the OP, I would certainly have words with my son about the standard of behaviour I expect from him, on or off the playground, but that's different to making him pay and apologise for something just because the other mother is demanding money.

Jet

jellyhead wrote: »

These kids are in year 6? Will they be going to the same high school?

I think the bullying of your boy should be dealt with, poor kid - it's your decision to pay or not and he shouldn't be bullied for that!

Hi,

No, they won't be in the same high school which is a bit of a relief. I did think my son may well end up at his school, but fortunately didn't. I don't think I could have stood the thought of them being on the bus together every day. :rolleyes:

The letter has gone into school today, I've told my son to tell the other boy that I am dealing with the matter as his mother wanted.

If the nastiness in the playground continues, I will have to talk to the teacher about that.

Jet

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK wrote: »

Maybe she is actually up to her neck in debt, what goes on behind closed doors etc.

She may well be, but if she is it's purely because of spending on luxuries. I know enough about her finances to know that much.

Speckled_Egg

What do you want to do? What will make you 'feel' better?

It might be paying the full amount, half the amount, nothing, speaking to the woman directly or totally ignoring her. Deep down we all know what we want to do and you have to be true to yourself and your son. There are some very mean people out there. Never ceased to be amazed by people but don't be pushed around by them. You don't have to be nasty. Make a decision, stick with it, rise above this woman and move on. You are obviously far better than her!

lin473

My daughters coat was literally ripped to shreds at school in year 2.
Totally unwearable.
It didn't even cross my mind to ask the culpits parents to pay!
I went in to speak to the teacher and she 'had a word' with them including my own daughter as she was part of the incident too!

Jet

Speckled_Egg wrote: »

What do you want to do? What will make you 'feel' better?

It might be paying the full amount, half the amount, nothing, speaking to the woman directly or totally ignoring her. Deep down we all know what we want to do and you have to be true to yourself and your son. There are some very mean people out there. Never ceased to be amazed by people but don't be pushed around by them. You don't have to be nasty. Make a decision, stick with it, rise above this woman and move on. You are obviously far better than her!

The decision is made is and is one I feel comfortable with. A letter of apology for the coat being damaged during game play enjoyed by all 3 boys. A £10 "gesture of goodwill" payment to provide a repair or towards the cost of a new coat. I think if she demands any more than that, that will show her true colours. I feel that I am being generous and know she will no doubt talk about me and my son behind our backs whatever we do. I won't be backing down on this and I fully expect her to get the head teacher involved and I am confident that the school will take it no further - indeed, they are not even punishing the boys, so can't think it's a big deal. I also think the school is sick of her and her demands. :rolleyes:

shirlgirl2004

spinning_hamster_wheel wrote: »

....or the kid with the hula hoop could have accepted he had to share and just handed it over so the others could get a turn, no doubt he is a carbon copy of his mum and totally used to getting his own way :rolleyes:

Well yes of course the other boy should have shared the hoop but 2 wrongs do not make a right.

shirlgirl2004

toshkininny wrote: »

what, so you are saying this sort of behaviour is a modern thing, and that it didn't happen in playgrounds years ago?

No, it isn't good good behaviour, and maybe the school should have done something about it too. Not the parenents having to make a decision on hearsay.

Yes you are right the school should be doing something about it. The fact that the school don't seem to see it as an issue is disgusting IMO. Perhaps that is why the children are behaving like this. At my DD's school all the children wear the same coat which costs about £75 and I can assure the children do not drag each other around the playground. If my DD's coat came home damaged I would be livid.