Would you pay for the child's coat?

moggylover

Jet wrote: »

Moggylover,

What a lovely story. :T

It reminded me of when I accidentally knocked into my neighbours car when parking my own car a few years ago. I immediately went and knocked on their door and told them what I had done and that if they got an estimate, I would pay for the repairs. I subsequently went out to work and when I came home he was fixing a new headlamp in his car (the one I had smashed). I told him I was prepared to pay for a garage to fix his car and he insisted that he had plenty of time now he had retired and that he was happy to fix it. I then told him he must let me have the bill for all the parts. He refused. I begged him to let me know how much it all cost - he wouldn't. I went online and found out the cost and tried to give them the money -they still refused. In the end I had to buy them alcohol and chocolate to the value of the parts and they did accept at this point. :T

They are such lovely people. When I told them they could use my hose pipe anytime to wash their car (they are mid terrace, I am on the end), they were very grateful, so grateful they washed my car too!:eek: I've found him cleaning out my guttering too and then they won't even let me sweep up the moss from the floor!

That is the sort of thing my Dad would have done!!! All he would have wanted was the apology: it would have been enough, as accidents do happen and are a part of life.

My old neighbour was a lovely lady who had raised 5 kids herself and said there was a difference between nastiness and an accident and if we let ourselves make the two the same thing then we would be the worse for it. My DS adored her even before he broke her greenhouse because she used to let him play with her dog and even walk it sometimes, and go in for tea and cake with her. They were really good friends to each other, and I know he still misses her despite the vast age gap. Course, the toffees she always had in a bowl in her sitting room might have been the other original attraction:D

loobylou2

toshkininny wrote: »

actually it does make you wonder where the dinner ladies, or whoever parades the playground were, if no-one saw anything as obvious as someone being dragged along the ground!

I know what you mean by this, my 11 year old son ended up being rushed in an ambulance from school to hospital last year because he got dragged along the ground when a game he was playing with his friends got out of hand. Someone did suggest I sue the school but what good would that have done? He wasn't badly hurt and although I upset and shaken by the incident, I didn't want to make a big issue of it. They were a group of 11 year olds playing in the playground and I was just relieved that he wasn't hurt and happy to know that the school had logged the incident in its accident book and spoken to all the children involved to remind them that whilst it was just a game that unfortunately went wrong , it could have had much more serious consequences,

mazzers

People like her need to be told to p*ss off and stop bothering you.

It was an accident and she sounds like a right pig complaining to you when you were suffering a bereavement.

You will only stop a bully by standing up to them.

scotsmum_2

I think the cost of the jacket is irrelevant, and Im actually quite surprised that so many people have commented on the price, All my children get decent winter coats every year and that is the price range I usually pay, and my children tend to wear winter jackets through the year as well as the weather is so bad!

Not everyone buys cheap, not everyone buys in the sales. For boys of that age I would expect clothes to be more expensive, I have a 12 year old and he chooses his own jackets, footwear etc and my son regularly takes expensive items to school, such as his mobile phone ot gameboy etc

If it was my son I would not expect others to pay, I would just remind my son to be more careful in future, however if I was in the OP situation where the mother has requested the money and got the school involved I would just pay up. I wouldn't want me or my children to be spoken about, children can be bullied easy enough without making reasons, and I wouldn't want bad feeling.

thisuseridistakenagain

I would never expect anyone to pay for a coat, kids play and i think mums would buy coats with that in mind. It sounds like an accident, and as adults, would you pay for someones coat if your chair was on it and it ripped or something like that?

Its just bad luck, and we are all on the end of it sometimes its just her turn.

You cant go around replacing everything.

Jet

Been to parents evening this evening and after discussing my son's educational progress I asked her about the coat incident and said as I had heard no more from her, then I assumed the coat boy's mother was satisfied.

Apparently not!

After she received my letter and my son's £10, she spent three quarters of an hour on the phone ranting to the teacher about how unacceptable she thought it was. The teacher told her that she was not prepared to do anymore and she thought that as my son had given his own money as compensation that the matter was dealt with, especially as there were no witnesses and as far as we are all aware there was no malice involved.

The coat mother then insisted on talking with the deputy head who told her the same thing. Apparently she is now deciding if she wants to talk to the headmistress. :rolleyes:

The teacher told me that the "coat boy" has been seen playing exactly the same game with other children since the incident and has been dragged by other children.

The other mother has not paid any money and apparently "coat boy" is threatening the other boy if he doesn't pay. The teacher says she is dreading talking to coat mother about her little darling threatening with menaces. :eek:

The teacher made it quite clear to me that she thinks this mother is being very petty and said herself if she wants to send her son to school in a £55 coat that is fine, but she can't expect everyone else to pay for it if it's damaged at playtime.

Poppy9

I think the head should take the initiative and tell coat mother that as far as the school is concerned the issue of compensation is a private matter for her to persue and that her son threatening other children is very much a school matter that will be dealt with.

I'd love to see her try to sue you both:D Bring it on:rotfl:

dizziblonde

The teacher's more tolerant than I would be then - I've got a 10 minute max rant limit before I route them to the boss!

Sounds to me like the "dragging" thing is actually one of the silly games much beloved of the boys where they stick one of their friends in the hoop, the others hang on the back and then run around like loonies (quite where your school's getting hoops that last more than 20 seconds with this I'd love to know!). You spend all your break duty stopping this game, and it's like trying to herd cats because as fast as you stop one group of lads playing it... another start up over the other side of the yard.... can also be done with skipping ropes or the elastics you get these days for playing that jumpy over elastics game when Miss finally cracks and confiscates all the hoops from the yard for that breaktime...

I'd let her take her ranting and bluster to the head, and if she throws any more in your direction, or her son starts making threats to the other kids - I'd go to the head yourself and complain of harrassment and bullying by the family. What coat boy is doing is bullying the other kid and that needs to be knocked on the head or he'll get to senior school and be demanding kids' lunch money for wear and tear if they borrow his pencil to write the date or something.

jellyhead

What Poppy said!

The head needs to take over this now - where does a teacher find 45 minutes to listen to a rant?! This mother can't be allowed to monopolise the teacher this way, and coat-boy shouldn't be allowed to threaten others.

I also think coat-mother needs to see her boy playing this game, and be asked if she would like him kept in at breaktimes to avoid any more coat issues lol!

All this stress is ridiculous over a coat, and coat-boy and coat-mother will get a sharp shock when he goes to high school.

grace1990

Your son ripped it even if it wasn't deliberate. You should just pay the money and then the whole thing can be forgotten about.