Avoiding payments

HeatherH

Ex has now been reassessed and for more than he was planning to give under the private agreement, wondering whether I should just pity him or laugh at the situation.

Will only believe I have the money when I see it though. Fingers crossed.

HeatherH

today, I had the NRP moaning at me for the amount he's apparently supposed to be paying. I don't think I'll ever see it, and he says if the CSA do a deduction of earning he'll quit his job. Instead of him being a man and standing up to his responsibilities, him and his fiance are both moaning at me making me feel like I'm a money grabbing b*tch, and having my ex stressing to my face saying that to bring up my son couldn't possibly cost as much as the csa are asking. and also saying that it's me that should be paying for all the clothes and items that our son uses when he stays with him.
When I didn't already feel crap today this has made me feel 10 times worse, the joys of the CSA

gratefulforhelp_2

Heather you have been pretty reasonable. Let him moan, its the amount the government says he should pay, and lets face it, no sane pwc would involve the csa if they didn't have strong doubts about seeing any of the money for the child/ren.

Hugs.

DaisyChainMaker

When I didn't already feel crap today this has made me feel 10 times worse, the joys of the CSA [/QUOTE]

If you are feeling so crap is it worth even trying to get your ex to pay anything? Life is too short to be arguing over money and if it is only making you feel awful and causing you stress, maybe it would be better to walk away from the whole situation. x

I don't say this lightly, as I am a firm believer that nrp should pay towards their childs upbringing, but my ex was one of those who didn't want to pay... left jobs, went on long term sick, moved house, changed names, etc etc every time the csa caught up with him. I even went to the MP, and the csa promised they were now ontop of it all and were going to get the minimum £5 week off of my ex (he is currently on long term sick again) but I have not received a penny.

I came to the conclusion that I probably never will, my daughter is now 13. I shall joggle the csa every so often, and maybe one day they will sort out the ex and get all the arrears payments too ... but then I shall just pass it all over to my daughter to help her with her future.

Your health and happiness is more important than your ex paying what he should. At least your child is loved and won't want for anything they need... xx

HeatherH

ex quit last job and now has new job, and ive told the csa where he works so they're going to reassess again. reason why im persistantly persuing is that he hasn't even kept up with paying £50 a month agreement, paid £20 here, £40 there, but never £50. sorry for bad grammar, just one of those days

gratefulforhelp_2

You don't need an excuse for persuing it, its his legal obligation. Hopefully they will catch up with him.

HeatherH

he's been reassessed for a lesser amount, I don't mind this as it means he might actually pay it.

My question for today is that the bailiffs got involved in may, and according to the ex, he's been paying money to them since. Shouldn't I have recieved some money from by now?

gratefulforhelp_2

I don't think its ever taken them more than a month to get money to me. I wonder if he's being economical with the actualite?

Butterfliesarepretty

I feel for all these people on here. Im an nrp and Im a lady. As a victim of circumstance eg my ex hubby making me believe I was a bad mum years ago and not being well enough to fight for my daughter in 2001 I was going through stress and depression caused by years of mental abuse and some physical. At first when my daughter went to live with her dad after the divorce I paid direct to the ex but then the demands for money became so excessive I put an application through as an nrp to pay my dues to my daughter. Since 2004 I pay by standing order every month £133 as I have her more than 52 nights a year and never have arrears and I have never had any problems with the csa and would never ever stop paying until the law says I stop paying. Its her money and to me I see it as another bill.

I have a great time with my daughter who is now 12 but my ex is on second divorce after doing same thing to second wife.

I pay my way and I am proud of it and cant understand the non-resident parents who try to avoid the responsibility.

But you must never rely on csa money because the csa can do a deo on the nrp's employer if they are working. If the nrp is self employed then that becomes difficult and sometimes goes to enforcement. the jobcentre can usually take £5 but if the nrp is in money troubles then the csa is not always the priority debt and the £5 can be rejected.

HeatherH

debt that was being dealt with by the bailliffs is now in the process of being handed back to the CSA, apparently there's not much they can do if my ex doesn't let them in, duh!