We are in serious trouble.......

mlz1413

More to the point why was your wife trying to a loan?

She has been taking money from a company with nothing to show for it and now needs more cash?

I realise she may have wanted it to pay back the company she used to work for - but again she has not discussed this with you, so this could just be more cash to throw at whatever it is she won't admit to.

Get your wife off every bank account and debit card now so she can't this again.

burkey38

She has no access to bank accounts, credit or debit cards. Probably wanted the loan to pay back what was took.

poppysarah

burkey38 wrote: »

She has no access to bank accounts, credit or debit cards. Probably wanted the loan to pay back what was took.

That you know of.

Have you asked her what she's been spending it on? Where t's gone?

socrates

There are only a few options for where this money has gone.

Gambling, drugs, purchase of expensive items (the OP has not seen much evidence of this) - if it was a man there would be a couple of other options - but who knows there may be an eastern european in the background somewhere.

People who obtain money by deception rarely spend it on sensible things.

My money is on gambling. Besides the buzz that is gained by stealing the money there is the buzz of the gambling and the buzz of gambling without their partner knowing - its almost like an affair.

^!£$&

Have you had a proper serious sit down talk and said look I wont get angry but please just tell me what you spent it on, where the money went??
I feel that you cant begin to deal with this situation and take the necessary steps to prevent it occuring again until you are 100% honest with each other and get to the cause of the problem rather than just treating the symptoms!!

mlz1413

burkey38 wrote: »

She has no access to bank accounts, credit or debit cards. Probably wanted the loan to pay back what was took.

Then how did a Direct Debit come out of an account with only your name on it?
Did you sign the Direct Debit form?

Please go back to loanfinder.co.uk and find out how they got your bank details. You need to find out if this was your wife signing your name or if a 3rd party has access to your details.

silvercar

burkey38 wrote: »

An unexpected direct debit came out on 17th from loanfinder.co.uk for £56.50. I didnt see it until yesterday and my bank said it was too late to reverse it. Obviously its now cancelled.

Apparently she was gonna a use this company who guaranteed they would be able to find her a company who would sort a loan out.

the details of two companies were forwarded by email, one company didnt cover Northern Ireland and the other company dealt with log books even though she told them we didnt have a car.

Thats what £56.50 was paid for:mad:

Is there no way I can get this money back?

Tackle the source not the fallout.

silvercar

socrates wrote: »

There are only a few options for where this money has gone.

Gambling, drugs, purchase of expensive items (the OP has not seen much evidence of this) - if it was a man there would be a couple of other options - but who knows there may be an eastern european in the background somewhere.

People who obtain money by deception rarely spend it on sensible things.

My money is on gambling. Besides the buzz that is gained by stealing the money there is the buzz of the gambling and the buzz of gambling without their partner knowing - its almost like an affair.

add to that list supporting family and squirelling away an escape fund.

terryw

silvercar wrote: »

Tackle the source not the fallout.

Superb advice and so well phrased.

terryw

markandkate

You obviously need professional help and may need to consider bankruptcy. Your local CAB will advise you. Your first prioity is to start looking for somewhere to rent and you will find it a lot cheaper than £1000 per month. Once you are paying less you will find it easier to manage. Clearly there are greater issues with your wife and she needs to accept that she has a problem and get help but in the mean time if she is bankrupt it will cut off most sources of credit. You then need to keep control of all the finances so that there are no more nasty surprises. You both need to decide whether you can live like that